Chat log started at 6.3.2011 / 18:42:39

Savage Worlds Ruleset for Fantasy Grounds II
(c) 2009 Pinnacle Entertainment Group.
Uriel runs off to tend the wounded, leaving Zach and Zeke to figure out what the next plan of action is.
Zach and Zeke find themselves standing in an empty VIP booth, overlooking the Kumite arena where Zeke was doing a rather good job of kicking asses.
Ezekial Ikwiano lights a cigar.
Zach Dallas: Well, that turned out better than what i was expecting
Ezekial Ikwiano: I was kinda expecin' to win
Zach Dallas: Trust me, sometimes you win and still aren't happy
Ezekial Ikwiano: Uriel was funny in there.
Zach Dallas: Ugh...
Zach Dallas: that was depressing
Ezekial Ikwiano: So, who the hell were those guys anyways?
Ezekial Ikwiano: An' who rides lightnin' bolts?
When we ended last session, Zeke was planning to bust Xiu Li out of jail. There are also some unconscious "Tam" assassins lying around.
Ezekial Ikwiano: That aint sportin'
Zach Dallas: They seemed to be some meager strike force
Ezekial Ikwiano grabs a tam assassin by the legs and dangles him upside down off the edge of the VIP booth
Ezekial Ikwiano (shouting): Rise and shine chinaman!
GM: They probably would have done much better, had the PCs and Yojimbo not been here...
Hapless Mook: AAIIIEEEE!!! Leave me alone!
Ezekial Ikwiano: who sent you?
Hapless Mook: Warlord Kwan! He pay good money to kill Big Ears' Tam.
Ezekial Ikwiano: how much?
Hapless Mook: $500 per person, why, you want to help?
Zach Dallas: You're already being paid to protect Tam
Ezekial Ikwiano: oh yeah.
Hapless Mook: You let me go, I give you $400 of my $500!
Ezekial Ikwiano: How much are se bein' paid?
Zach Dallas: Wait, you have $500 on you?
Ezekial Ikwiano: You have the money on you?
Hapless Mook: Umm...no
Zach Dallas: Empty his pockets!
Ezekial Ikwiano shakes the mook vigourously.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Strength [1d12 = 9]
Hapless Mook: Spirit [1d8 = 7]
[w] Zach Dallas: Deal for Hunch. Where is his money?
Hapless Mook: AIIEEE!!!
Zach Dallas shuffles a deck of cards
Hapless Mook: A bunch of loose change and some money falls out of his pockets, it is definitely not $500.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): says you
[w] -> Zach Dallas: 4 of a Kind - Queens
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 8]
As far as Zeke knows, he gets free "room and board" at the Tam-owned brothel.
Ezekial Ikwiano: So, where's this warlord Con at?
Hapless Mook: Kwan province! He use Science device to send us here from his fortress.
Hapless Mook: I not know how it works...
Ezekial Ikwiano: You bring it with you, or is it like a catapult or some shit?
TADM: On an unrelated note, Pinnacle just released a 145-page expansion for Weird Scientists. If only MacVellian was here.
Ezekial Ikwiano: A lightning-chinaman-magic catapult...
Ezekial Ikwiano: And why bother sending y'all?
Hapless Mook: No, we go inside glass bubble and then it sends us here.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Why not magically zap a ton a TNT into Tam's ass?
Hapless Mook shrugs, as well as possible from upside down.
Ezekial Ikwiano: You chinamen suck at killin'
Zach Dallas: Who did he get the Sicence device from?
Hapless Mook: No idea...maybe Doctor Hellstrome...he science guy
TADM: ...but he's not Bill Nye.
Zach Dallas: Does Doctor Hellstrome usually work with Kwan?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Ain't he a friend of Xiu Li's dad?
Ezekial Ikwiano: or an enemy
Ezekial Ikwiano: I think they knew each other
Hapless Mook: No idea...but Hellstromme sell stuff to anyone, right?
TADM: Which is an acceptable answer for this guy for any of those questions.
Ezekial Ikwiano: He got any good cigars?
Zach Dallas: He's an enemy
Hapless Mook: No, I don't smoke.
Ezekial Ikwiano: You what?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Who the hell don't smoke?
Hapless Mook: I don't smoke, no idea who has good cigars.
Zach Dallas: I don't
Zach Dallas: It's a money pit
Ezekial Ikwiano pulls the mook up the railing, crams a cigar in his mouth and lights it.
TADM: Zach smokes when set on fire.
Ezekial Ikwiano then hangs him off the ledge again.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Breathe deep son.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Today you become a man.
Hapless Mook: [1d8 = 3]
Hapless Mook coughs and sends the cigar flying.
Ezekial Ikwiano drops the mook on his head.
Ezekial Ikwiano jumps off the railing to retrieve the cigar.
Hapless Mook: Ouch!
Hapless Mook passes out.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Never waste a good smoke.
[w] Zach Dallas: why is it always queens?
[w] Zach Dallas: didn't I get that before?
[w] -> Zach Dallas: Would you like me to start using I-Ching sticks instead? Those weren't freaky at all.
Ezekial Ikwiano ties the surviving mooks together into a makeshift chain-gang.
[w] -> Zach Dallas: The Mook left his money in a footlocker in the Kwan fortress.
[w] Zach Dallas: Those were vague-creepy. This is repetatively-low-odds creepy
Zach Dallas: Oh, well, he left his money in his locker back at the fortress anyways
[w] -> Zach Dallas: I suspect Grey has been screwing with my deck.
Hapless Mook looks afraid of Zeke and does as he instructs.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I can
Ezekial Ikwiano marches the tied-up mooks towards the jail.
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): By myself.
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): You know I’ve got to go.
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): You got to run.
Ezekial Ikwiano: C'mon Chinamen, sing along.
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): You got to run.
Zach Dallas: Hahaha
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): By myself.
Hapless Mook: Day-o, day-o! Day light come and she won't go home!
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): By myself.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Spirit [1d8 = 5]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): are there any ogres in their group?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): of the chinese variety, of course
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I think we made damn sure to kill the ogres.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I know for a fact that I shotgunned the living shit out of two of them
GM: The ogres are all quite dead. A couple have watermelon sized exit wounds in their head.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I don't remember, I had to get a drink and they were all gone
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Where's Tam?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Zach, can you make me one of them explodin' cards?
Zach Dallas: What for?
Ezekial Ikwiano: If we need to skidaddle, we give it to one of these guys and run
[w] Zach Dallas: what's the range on that again?
GM: Tam fled back to his palace during the fighting.
[w] Zach Dallas: er, range from me
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): being escorted by Tony
[w] -> Zach Dallas: The exploding cards? Medium burst template.
[w] Zach Dallas: until the Weave gives
[w] -> Zach Dallas: 24/48/96, so 96 from you it is guaranteed to explode
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): let me know when we get to the jail.
Zeke leads the surviving Tam assassin's to the jail. The procession gathers quite a few onlookers and gawkers. Other than that, nothing impedes his progress.
Deputy Wong Wei: Can I help you?
Ezekial Ikwiano ushers the chain of would-be assassins into the door of the jail.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Yeah, got some guys here who took a shot at Tam
Ezekial Ikwiano: Toss me them keys, I'll stick em in a cell for ya
Deputy Wong Wei: Umm...I unlock, you can stick them in the cell.
Deputy Wong Wei stands up and heads over to the first available cell.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): by the way, I was unable to give you the exploding card, but I will give Zeke a lucky Queen of Spades if he wants
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 8]
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: scoping out the jail
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: and the jailer
[w] Zach Dallas: thanks
Zeke notices that the jail is pretty spotlessly clean, and looks much nicer than some hotels he has stayed in. There are four deputies here, all of them are carrying pistols and two have shotguns. In Zeke's opinion he could probably wipe the floor with all of them. There are a few drunks and vagrants in the cell, but no one particularly remarkable. The big thing to Zeke is that he does not notice Xiu Li here.
Deputy Wong Wei unlocks the door and swings it open, then gestures for the prisoners to shuffle inside.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Wei, where that cute chinese girl that I dun saw last time I was in here?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Tam said I could have free whores
Zach Dallas heads off to the Sunrise hotel to check and see if Dillenger has made any progress
Deputy Wong Wei: Hmm...she nice looking, I think she really expensive. But she not here, she let out when Tony hear that Tam being attacked.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Ah
Deputy Wong Wei: She offer to help protect Tam and left with Tony.
Ezekial Ikwiano: You must be glad to hear that
Ezekial Ikwiano: Take care
Deputy Wong Wei: Yep, you have good day black man.
Ezekial Ikwiano tips his cap to the deputy, takes his hand off his gun and exits.
Deputy Wong Wei: I ask Tony what reward is for these guys, then he pay you later.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I like rewards
Ezekial Ikwiano: Name's Zeke by the by
Ezekial Ikwiano: Tony knows me
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
Ezekial Ikwiano: Not that there's any other negro gunslingers in this town
Ezekial Ikwiano leaves the jail and goes back to the Sunrise to meet up with Zach and Dillinger.
Zeke walks in as Dillenger is speaking with Zach.
Zach Dallas: Afternoon, Zeke!
Zach Dallas doesn't have his right glove on. His hand looks less than healthy.
Dillinger: Hmm...interesting, it looks charred like you stuck it in a fire. Very peculiar how you are still able to use normally. Have you tried every form of magic to see if it indeed does not work with your hand?
Dillinger: I almost imagine you could use it as a weapon against the supernatural...sort of like a curse and a blessing at the same time.
Zach Dallas: As far as I can tell. I can't cast through it, Uriel can't cast on it, and it seems to burn Chinese Ogres at the very least
Dillinger: Fascinating.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I could try shootin' it?
Ezekial Ikwiano: If you think that would help
Zach Dallas: Not magic, sorry
Zach Dallas smiles
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 8]
Zach Dallas looks genuinely appreciative
Dillinger: I don't remember if you mentioned this before, but how did this happen? Did you fight a Chumash?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 5]
Zach Dallas: Actually, the Indian girl, Weematai, that we were travelling with apparently had some of these. Had good aim too since she got me at 40 paces
Ezekial Ikwiano: What's a Chumash?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Is that a fancy word for rock montser?
Zach Dallas: Smythe was with us at the time as well, so he should know what she looked like
Zach Dallas: no, it's a tribe of Indians
Dillinger: A tribe of very vicious indians.
Zach Dallas: with daggers blacker than your mother
Ezekial Ikwiano: Maybe Weematai was a Chumash then
Dillinger: Hmm...Weematai....you know, I have not seen her in a couple weeks. She would definitely be the best source of information about your afflication.
Zach Dallas: That's my guess, but she never seemed to have any sort of distaste for us as I would have thought
Ezekial Ikwiano: She was prolly hot for me
Ezekial Ikwiano: I get that a lot
Ezekial Ikwiano lights a cigar.
Zach Dallas: What flavor are those cigars, anyways?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Pain
Zach Dallas: Why would you smoke pain?
Zach Dallas: wouldn't grape be better?
It is now March 10, 1880. You arrived in Shan Fan on February 18.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I have an idea that might help yer hand
Dillinger: Well, if you see her, she would be the best person to ask, but I will continue my research here.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I got some leftover cocaine from when I cured Xiu Li
Zach Dallas: Thanks
Zach Dallas: Oh, goodness, no
Zach Dallas: maybe a few weeks ago when I got this
Zach Dallas: but I don't think that's good for such a long term injury
Zach Dallas: It's pretty much fine, except it feels funny
Ezekial Ikwiano: Ha Ha funny, or gibbering supernatural horror funny?
Zach Dallas: like you sat on your horse too long and your legs are tingly funny
Ezekial Ikwiano: I never fucked a horse man, that is sick
Zach Dallas: I did not even insinuate that
Dillinger scratches head in confusion.
Zach Dallas: Why would you think that first thing?
Zach Dallas: guilty concience?
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 4]
Ezekial Ikwiano: I once saw a girl in Reno do a horse
Ezekial Ikwiano: paid good money
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d6 = 7]
Zach Dallas maintains his smile
Dillinger turns an odd shade of green and looks like he might be close to vomiting.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 5]
Zach Dallas: So where's Xiu Li?
Ezekial Ikwiano: You don't look so good Dillinger. You want some Cocaine?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Oh, she's free
Dillinger: No thanks.
Ezekial Ikwiano: They let her go before I even got there to bust herout
Zach Dallas: You didn't free her yourself, did you?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Tam wanted her protection
Zach Dallas: Ah. Well, I suspect now is as good a time as any to meet back up with Tam then and see how things went elsewhere
Xiu Li: Hello Zeke and Zach...good to see you survived unharmed.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Howdy
Ezekial Ikwiano tips his hat to Xiu Li.
Xiu Li: Ah yes...I was just about to say that he sent me here to collect you, as Tam wants to speak with you.
Zach Dallas: Ah, good to see you too
Ezekial Ikwiano: I heard they letchu out
Xiu Li smiles as Zeke.
Zach Dallas: Zeke just got done escorting the....assassins to prison.
Xiu Li: Yes, Long Haired Tony released me on the condition that I agreed to help Tam.
Zach Dallas: A good condition
Xiu Li: Yes, I heard that from Deputy Wei.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I had a whole plan to bust you out too.
Zach Dallas: Did any more chinamen appear out of nowhere?
Ezekial Ikwiano: The deputies' families are prolly happier this way though
Xiu Li: A few, they are also in jail sleeping comfortably.
Xiu Li looks confused at Zeke's statement.
Zach Dallas: Anyway! Let's get going. We can't be keeping our benefactor waiting for too long
Ezekial Ikwiano: Lead on
Zach Dallas: We'll see you later, Dillinger
Dillinger: Yes, take care chaps.
Xiu Li follows Zach and Zeke out of the room and back to Tam's estate.
Ezekial Ikwiano: So Zach, who would you rather: Annie Oakley, or a young Harriet Tubman?
GM: The group makes it to Tam's place without any serious mishap...unless Zeke or Zach causes one.
Zach Dallas: Smarts [1d12 = 7]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): is he serious?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Of courst he is.
You are allowed entrance to Tam's estate and directed to Tam's location. He is standing by a wall with only a translator nearby. You notice this is a bit odd, because your weapons have not been confiscated and there are no guards around.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Tam, where's all them whores go?
Xiu Li bows to Tam.
Big Ears Tam waves away the translator.
Translator bows and leaves.
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 6]
Stinky Pete: so, what have a missed?
Stinky Pete stumbles in to whatever we're doing
GM: Pete staggers up, looking more drunk than normal and slightly coherent.
Zach Dallas: I can only image how bad Pete feels right now
Ezekial Ikwiano: Welcome back Pete
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 2]
Zach Dallas is rubbing his hand
Ezekial Ikwiano: After the Kumite, we got attacking by chinamen in lightning bolts.
Ezekial Ikwiano: We beat them down pretty quick though
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
Big Ears Tam clears his throat.
Big Ears Tam: Greetings my friends, it is good to see you mostly unharmed after that experience.
Big Ears Tam: I am an old man, but not so prideful that I cannot admit my mistakes. Clearly I underestimated my foes. Now I must know what they are doing.
Zach Dallas: Fortunately they underestimated you as well. Those were pretty lackluster assassins
Big Ears Tam: Indeed, thanks to you.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Wait, were we your foes?
Zach Dallas seems bothered by his hand
Zach Dallas: no
Ezekial Ikwiano: right
Ezekial Ikwiano: I just shoot whoever I'm paid to shoot
Zach Dallas: Right, and he's paying
Zach Dallas: remember?
Ezekial Ikwiano: yes
Big Ears Tam: My sources tell me that in four days, Kang and Kwan are meeting at Kang's Fortress of Dragon's Breath. You will travel there, find out what they plan, and report back to me. I cannot send my own people, as I cannot trust them. There will be a purge in a week, once I am certain of who is working with my enemies.
Stinky Pete: Couldn't we just, you know, kill both of them?
Zach Dallas: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 7]
Zach Dallas: Laughing [Critical failure!] [1d4 = 1]
Stinky Pete: Dead men make no plans
Big Ears Tam: You are welcome to try, but I doubt you would succeed.
Zach Dallas coughs
Ezekial Ikwiano: Wait, if you can't trust your own people, why do you trust us?
Ezekial Ikwiano: We are basically all mercenaries
Zach Dallas coughs some more
Zach Dallas: But we've made some pretty hefty enemies
Zach Dallas: ZEKE
Zach Dallas: glares at Zeke
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): with one eye, of course
Ezekial Ikwiano: All I'm sayin' is, the more you pay us, the more you can trust us
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
Big Ears Tam nods.
Stinky Pete: I know it says "In God We Trust" on US currency, but aren't you taking that a little too literally?
Big Ears Tam: Yes, my ironclad is at the docks, Captain Fong knows to expect you. You have full use of it for this and in the future. I trust having your own Ironclad for the foresseable future is adequate payment?
Stinky Pete: with God being short for "Good Ol' Dollar"
Ezekial Ikwiano: Only people I trust is my momma and whores
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Why would you trust whores?
Big Ears Tam: Then you may be wiser than you look, Ezekial Ikwiano.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I like iron things
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Scorpion Clan would LOVE Zeke
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Zach, let's try not to blow this one up
Zach Dallas: That was entirely your fault
Ezekial Ikwiano: Not entirely
Zach Dallas: but I'll keep an eye on you anyways
Ezekial Ikwiano: Ok, you still got that jar?
Stinky Pete: If you're watching Zeke, then does that mean you won't be watching anything else?
Big Ears Tam: I recommend you find a way to disguise yourselves, as you are hated by both Kwan and Kang.
Zach Dallas: You've got two pairs of eyes. I have hundreds
Zach Dallas smiles at Pete
Ezekial Ikwiano: Oh yeah, I just blend right in in Shan Fan
Uriel Iscariot: I suggest you disguise yourself as Nuns.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I have a brilliant idea
Uriel walks up, evidently he has finished healing every injured person in the Kumite AND on the way here.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey tam, where you keep your whores at
Big Ears Tam: In the tent by the far wall.
Zach Dallas: I am not dressing as a whore
Ezekial Ikwiano: I need them
Zach Dallas: period.
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Occult {+2 Honey Vial} +2 (Battle Damage! -1) [1d6+1 = 3]
Big Ears Tam: Hmm...I rather like them. But if you need women I can collect you some.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I'll need 10 or 15
Xiu Li looks offended at where this conversation is going.
Uriel Iscariot: Boo! You show too much skin. Cloth is what you need!
Ezekial Ikwiano: Uriel, go get some Buddhist robes
Stinky Pete: Trust me, Zeke is not a man of the cloth
Nick (Stinky Pete): Zing!
Big Ears Tam: Very well, I shall have a 10 or so collected for you.
Stinky Pete has been awarded a benny
Ezekial Ikwiano: Good man.
TADM: Okay, THAT deserved a benny.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Ok guys, here's my plan
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d6-1 = 3]
Uriel Iscariot: You are flirting with disaster here Ezekial Ikwiano!
Ezekial Ikwiano: We round up the whores and board the ship
Ezekial Ikwiano: and we dress all of us up like Buddhist nuns
Ezekial Ikwiano: and say we are paying our respects to Kang and Con
Zach Dallas rubs his arm
Ezekial Ikwiano: I
Ezekial Ikwiano: Then, we sneak off while the whores put on a strip show to distract the guards
Zach Dallas: First off, Buddhists have monks, not nuns
Xiu Li: Buddhists have nuns.
Xiu Li points to herself.
Uriel Iscariot: I guess....
Ezekial Ikwiano: Xiu Li can either come sneaking off with us or stay and help with the whores distracting the guards
Ezekial Ikwiano: Her call
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): How generous of you
Xiu Li fists shake slightly. She takes a few deep breaths.
Zach Dallas: I'm not watching, if anything were to happen to Zeke, I wouldn't know
Zach Dallas turns a blind eye to Zeke
Uriel Iscariot looks away
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): touche
Nick (Stinky Pete): note to self: make Zach a pegleg for future use
Nick (Stinky Pete): ooh we can make it a shotgun leg!!
Big Ears Tam: So, if you have no further questions, I suggest you work on your plan of how to get into Dragon's Breath and find out what is going on there.
Nick (Stinky Pete): wait, if he has a wooden pegleg, does that mean he'll often be going out on a limb?
Nick (Stinky Pete): pow!
Ezekial Ikwiano: My plan will work
Ezekial Ikwiano: Onward
Ezekial Ikwiano rounds up his whores and heads for the docks.
Stinky Pete: Where to? A place with a better plan?
Zach Dallas: I do have one question. Is that a battle aura you have going now? Because it's rather painful and could be a problem if Kang can do the same thing
Big Ears Tam: That is for me to know, and you to never find out. Although you can trust me when I say Kang cannot do this.
Zach Dallas: Kwan as well?
Big Ears Tam nods.
Zach Dallas: Any surprises that you suspect they CAN do?
Uriel Iscariot: My guess is that devil-boy would feel better round those two...
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 6]
Big Ears Tam: Punch through the hull of an ironclad?
Big Ears Tam: Catch bullets with their bare hands.
Zach Dallas: Expected.
Big Ears Tam: Cause all the forces of darkness in an area to bend to their will.
Zach Dallas: That, that is a useful one to know
Zach Dallas: And that would be...Kang?
Big Ears Tam: No, Kwan actually. And it would be in your best interest not to find out further.
Big Ears Tam leaves.
Zach Dallas laughs
Ezekial Ikwiano: I think we should go for the quiet approach
Xiu Li: Small chance of success, high likelihood of death - what are we waiting for?
Ezekial Ikwiano: like sneaking in under cover of whores
Zach Dallas: Should we take care of Carr's remains before we go? Or have you done that already?
Ezekial Ikwiano: We don't need to make a raft, we have an ironclad
Xiu Li: I will take care of them when the time is right.
Stinky Pete: the boat, unlike this plan, is ironclad
Ezekial Ikwiano: You have a better idea Pete?
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): boo. too blatant.
Uriel Iscariot: I do. I will steel myself with my tempered faith, a faith stronger than any forged by mortal hands!
Ezekial Ikwiano: You'll need it
Uriel Iscariot strikes an epic pose
Uriel Iscariot: No gun or demon shall lay a hand on me!
Ezekial Ikwiano: you're about to spend the next few days on a boat with a pack of chinese whores
Zach Dallas: But....they don't use guns or demons....
Ezekial Ikwiano: I'd be more worried about their hands
Uriel Iscariot: Chinese just means they are professional and efficient about it - therefore they will leave me alone - YOU on the other hand...
Ezekial Ikwiano: Me they will leave comatose
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction} [1d12+2 = 5]
Uriel Iscariot is using a benny
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction} [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6+2 = 4]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Spirit [1d8 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot: ....will not learn anything new by not being celebate. Go free, dawg!
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Faith Rolls: Leaving Tack Faithless since 2009
Ezekial Ikwiano: Anyways, lets get those robes.
Xiu Li laughs at the situation.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Faith Rolls: Proving that God is paying attention until 1900
Ezekial Ikwiano: Xiu Li, you must know where to get some buddhist robes
Zach Dallas: Why not talk with Yojimbo?
Zach Dallas: He seems rather trustworthy
Ezekial Ikwiano: He hits hard
Xiu Li: I will take no part in this degradation of women or using religious items for an unwholesome purpose.
Zach Dallas: Given that he could've assassinated each of us without an issue
Ezekial Ikwiano: They won't be wearing them for long
Xiu Li frowns.
Uriel Iscariot: I agree with you, Xiu. If only we had a better plan...
Zach Dallas: Ah, but it's not unwholesome purposes
Ezekial Ikwiano: Besides, compared to their daily routine, this will be pretty damn liberating
Zach Dallas: You see, we're going to eavesdrop on a pair of highly evil creatures
Zach Dallas: so not only is this not a violent mission
Zach Dallas: but it's also going to work towards saving thousands of lives
Zach Dallas: and if everything goes well, we may even kill an Eldritch Abomination
Ezekial Ikwiano: And they might earn some tips if they're really good
Zach Dallas: All of which are wholesome parts of this complete dungeon
Ezekial Ikwiano: They'd prolly like that
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [Critical failure!] [1d10 = 1]
Zach Dallas is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 7]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): f*&^ you D10
Xiu Li: Wait, how about the whores have "captured" you and they sell you all into slavery at Dragon's Breath?
Uriel Iscariot: Ezekial Ikwiano has a point. Tis Eve which filled this world with SIN and DEATH! Man is only fallen by WOMAN! It is right that they should bare their shame as a distraction!
Uriel Iscariot gets fired up
Xiu Li punches a wall crenellation. It falls off the side of the building.
Stinky Pete: Hate to say it, but I'm with Xiu Li with this one
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Bible [Critical failure!] [1d6 = 1]
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Bible [1d6 = 3]
TADM: Uriel 0, Bible 1.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): 2
Bible: Knowledge Uriel: D12 [1d12 = 6]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): -1
TADM: Yep, it won.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Listin Li, I can see that you aint likin my plan
Ezekial Ikwiano: But at least this plan don't involve any murderin
Ezekial Ikwiano: and you should be happy about that
Xiu Li frowns.
Xiu Li: Very well, I will help you out, if only to keep the whores safe.
Xiu Li: But you...
Uriel Iscariot: Tis only through the harmony of Lakshimi and Vishnu that our universe is sustained - it is not right that we treat these women as objects, for they too are divine!
Xiu Li points at Zeke.
Xiu Li: cannot have sex with any of the whores while we are on the boat.
Ezekial Ikwiano: When we get back, you can ask Tam to let them go
Uriel Iscariot: I object to this horrid plan!
Zach Dallas: Laughing [1d4 = 2]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Spirit [1d8 = 5]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hmm...
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d6 = 16]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): on Zeke
Ezekial Ikwiano: Ok
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 4]
Xiu Li: Good, because my second plan was to have you leave your masculinity here until we return.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I don't think it's removeable
Xiu Li gives Zeke a glare that reads, "WANNA BET?"
Ezekial Ikwiano winks at Xiu Li and lights another cigar.
Zach Dallas: But remember, the last time we dropped rotten bacon off the side of a boat a celestial squark came up and demolished our ships. So you can't change your mind until the end of the trip
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
Xiu Li: I will go get you some robes of a suitable size.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Thank you kindly Li.
Uriel Iscariot: Ezekial Ikwiano, Can I have my bible back?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Oh yeah
Ezekial Ikwiano: I got it a bit bloody
Uriel Iscariot: I seem to be getting very hazy in my...ability to speak its wisdom
Uriel Iscariot: Thats okay now it has a appearance worthy of its stories
Stinky Pete: I've heard of bible beating, but that's just ridiculous
Xiu Li leaves.
Ezekial Ikwiano pulls Uriel's blood-stained bible off of his gun and hands it back to Uriel.
GM: Okay, who would like to do what before we get to the Sturgeon?
Zach Dallas practices moving his hand again with a quick shuffle
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): I'm good.
Ezekial Ikwiano: [1d6 = 4]
Ezekial Ikwiano: [1d4 = 3]
Zach Dallas: at least I can move properly
Ezekial Ikwiano: [1d6 = 2]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d6-1 = 4]
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 19]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): im too scared to do anything. the dice......
Ezekial Ikwiano stumbles drunkenly onto the boat and passes out on the deck.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice (Battle Damage! -1) [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6-1 = 3]
The group makes it to the Sturgeon, which sets out without further incident. Unless the group would like to cause an incident.
Xiu Li shows up on the Sturgeon with several robes and a number of....women that could be whores, but you get the feeling they are not.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): nope
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I'm busy passed out
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Durrrrr I can't see a whole lot on this ship. Derp.
Uriel Iscariot decides to see if there are any people fishing on the docks of the Sturgeon.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 5]
Stinky Pete whistles "Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me"
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 7]
Captain Fong: It will take 3 days for us to arrive in Dragon's Breath.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Spirit [1d8 = 7]
Uriel Iscariot: I like that number.
Ezekial Ikwiano steers clear of Xiu Li and the "women."
[w] -> Zach Dallas: One of the two would definitely happen.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility (Acrobat +2) [1d12+2 = 6]
[w] Zach Dallas: lol
Ezekial Ikwiano climbs to the top of the mast and helps with the rigging.
Uriel does not see anyone fishing on the Sturgeon. He does notice that the steam-powered ironclad has no masts or rigging though.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
Pete notices that the Sturgeon seems to be almost as heavily armed, but with much lighter armor than the Abysmal had. This makes it MUCH faster. A fact that might be useful later.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 3]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 5]
Uriel Iscariot Uriel looks for the 'women of the night'
Ezekial Ikwiano puts on his buddhist robe and practices walking like a nun.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility [1d12 = 17]
Ezekial Ikwiano walks very much like a Buddhist nun.
Zach notices that the women stretch out on the deck, strip down to their underwear, and begin sunning themselves while the crew of the Sturgeon brings them glasses with little umbrellas in them. Uriel figures this out after he watches Zach walk into the side of the deck railing while staring at one of the women.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): where is Zeke?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): practicing my Nun walk below decks.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I am steering clear of the whores, remember?
Uriel Iscariot is infuriated at the sight of the women.
Xiu Li practices her kata on the railing of the ship, blindfolded.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): are they all Asian?
TADM: Yes.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): we're gonna stick out
Uriel being infuriated seems to make the women giggle annoyingly.
Uriel Iscariot (FIRE'N BRIMSTONE): You headonistic pleasure seekers! You deserve your fate!
Zach Dallas: Uriel, Zeke needs your help downstairs!
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d6 = 4]
Uriel Iscariot (FireNBrimstone): Thou have turned your back from the LORD and seek only selfish pursuits!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): waves to Uriel
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 2]
Zach Dallas leads Uriel down to Zeke
The women giggle and make "crazy man" gestures amongst themselves about Uriel.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey, you guys here to practice your Nun-walks too?
Zach Dallas: Zeke, Uriel wants to practice his nun-walk as well. He said that he's not confident
Ezekial Ikwiano: It's all in the hips
Stinky Pete brings the girls drinks, so as not to get on their bad side
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility [1d12 = 14]
Ezekial Ikwiano demonstrates for Uriel and Zach.
Uriel Iscariot: That's no dance for Jesus!
Zach Dallas: Laughing [1d4 = 5]
Uriel Iscariot: Agility [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 4]
Uriel Iscariot falls on his ass
Uriel Iscariot blinks
Zach Dallas: I'll come back when Uriel can stay on his feet. It looks like he could use the single-attention
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Bible [1d6 = 3]
GM: Zeke looks WAY to feminine for Uriel's taste, Uriel finds himself torn between imagining Zeke in an Altar Boy outfit and suspicion that Zeke was in "the city of brotherly love" for way too long.
Uriel Iscariot: I was thinking of a story to help me cope with this....but evidently im out of a job.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): (At LEAST i got that in)
Zach Dallas heads back upstairs
Zach Dallas: I'll be back
GM: Zach gets back upstairs.
Captain Fong: Hello Mr. Dallas, anything you need?
[w] Zach Dallas: so I'd like to check with Xiu Li to see if I can test that. Deal for Detect Arcana so I can watch what happens
TADM: Incoming TPK.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Uriel, I still got some cocaine leftover from when Li got sick
Ezekial Ikwiano: You want some?
Uriel Iscariot: Whats that?
Ezekial Ikwiano: cocaine
Uriel Iscariot: I hear some call it angel dust
Zach touches Xiu Li.
Uriel Iscariot: It has to be good for me
Xiu Li screams in pain.
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 2]
Ezekial Ikwiano: I'll buy that
Uriel Iscariot: Sure, hook me up bro
Ezekial Ikwiano splits the last of his cocaine with Uriel
Zach Dallas withdraws his hand
Zach Dallas: Oh, damn! Are you OK?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 10]
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: do I hear Xiu Li's screaming?
[w] -> Ezekial Ikwiano: Yes
Stinky Pete: Why are you trying to break her?
Ezekial Ikwiano runs to the deck with his gun out.
Xiu Li pants and breaks out in a cold sweat, looks like she is about to either go berserk or throw up.
Ezekial Ikwiano: What's so shouty out here
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey, Zach, did I ever tell you, you're like the brother I never wanted
Uriel Iscariot follows Ezekial Ikwiano
Zach Dallas: Mostly a false alarm. Where's Uriel?
Xiu Li grits teeth and looks at Zach.
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 11]
Zach Dallas: Are you OK?
Xiu Li catches breath.
Xiu Li: Yes.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hi Li, you wanna dance?
Zach Dallas looks genuinely concerned
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Occult {+2 Honey Vial} [1d6+2 = 7]
Xiu Li throws up.
Xiu Li: No thank you.
Uriel Iscariot: What Strange Affliction hath befalled our maiden of Justice?
Stinky Pete: Sometimes, I'm glad I stay away from you guys
Ezekial Ikwiano takes a cigar out his bag and lights it.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey uriel, look at this!
Ezekial Ikwiano waves the cigar around in the air and then throws it towards all the sunbathing whores
Ezekial Ikwiano: Go get it preacha man!
Uriel Iscariot: SURE!
Ezekial Ikwiano falls over laughing in a pile of Li's vomit.
Zach Dallas: Uriel, get over here, quickly
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [1d6 = 5]
Zach Dallas pauses
Zach Dallas: What is wrong with you two?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Cocaine's a hell of a drug
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 2]
GM: The sunbathing whores are all watching you very carefully. You see a surprising number of weapons suddenly in their hands.
Zach Dallas is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d6 = 4]
Zach Dallas facepalms
Zach Dallas: left hand
Xiu Li turns around, leans over the side of the boat, and vomits again.
Uriel Iscariot Uriel starts singing.
Uriel Iscariot: I punch like a comet and drink till I vomit, Im Xiu Li the sailor man! WHOO WHOO
Captain Fong looks at Pete.
Captain Fong: It is good to know the drunk is the only sane member of this group.
Ezekial Ikwiano: joins in Uriel
Ezekial Ikwiano joins in Uriel's song
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): I got a letter
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): Ol' brownskin.
Zach Dallas: I appologize, Xiu Li. I had at least expected that Uriel would be on par in case anything happened. I did not know that it would be so severe
Stinky Pete: I'm not drunk. I'm just an unachieving alcoholic
Xiu Li goes up to the front of the boat, apparently she does not want to be near any of you.
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): "Leavin' tomorrow,
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): Tell you goodbye."
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): O my Lordy.
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [1d6 = 4]
Stinky Pete: Captain, if you throw them overboard, I never saw it happen
Captain Fong nods at Pete.
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 9]
Captain Fong: I was a recovering Christian once, but I got over it.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Vigor [1d6 = 8]
Uriel Iscariot: Vigor [1d6 = 4]
GM: We will assume that passes.
Zach Dallas touches Uriel with DMH
Wait...REALLY?
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): DO IT!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): if there's no reaction with Uriel
GM: Zach touches Uriel with the DMH....
There is a thunderclap. The Sturgeon shakes and waterspouts form around it.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): wtf, this is bullshit >.>
LOUD BOOMING VOICE: FAITH WILL PREVAIL.
Zach Dallas: That's fine.
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d6 = 14]
Zach Dallas: I will not oppose Faith
Zach gets thrown through the air like a rag doll.
Ezekial Ikwiano: You tell him big voice man
Zach Dallas: Agility [1d6 = 8]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Zach, I didn't know you could fly
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Neither did IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Stinky Pete: Wow, guess that damaged leg will arrive sooner than expected
Zach Dallas: Well, it's a good thing that I haven't tried to touch the driftwood cross
He flies UP 20 feet, northwest 40 feet, and then drops into the water with a giant splash. The water around Zach starts boiling.
Zach Dallas: NOT COOL
Ezekial Ikwiano: Vigor [1d6 = 3]
Nick (Stinky Pete): Throw him a line
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): thanks
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): toss it in red
Uriel suddenly feels filled with HOLY POWER. The driftwood cross in his pocket begins glowing brightly.
Stinky Pete: Didn't know fish could call for takeout
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Hey, that answers that question
Nick (Stinky Pete): Not that kinda line, idiot
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): experiment three: touch Pete with DMH
Nick (Stinky Pete): assuming you live
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): what did Detect Aracana spot?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): when I got launched I mean
Uriel is cured of all afflications, suddenly has 20/20 vision, and can maybe a few other bonuses.
Uriel Iscariot: ZACH DALLAS DO YOU DENY SATAN AND ALL HIS WORKS FOR NOW AND EVER?
Zach Dallas: *blub**blub*
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Honest, I didn't expect anything to happen with either of those experiments
Uriel Iscariot: YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Uriel Iscariot: THOU ARE DROWNIN IN THY OWN SIN AND GUILT! ACCEPT FORGIVENESS AND YOU SHALL BE LIFTED!
Zach Dallas: YES
Zach Dallas: I was never with Satan
Captain Fong fires a grappling cannon over to Zach so that he can be retrieved from the water.
Zach Dallas grabs onto the rope
Captain Fong retracts the rope and brings Zach back on board.
Uriel Iscariot blinks
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): damage from burns?
Uriel Iscariot: Wait.....you just got out of that.....without some sort of climatic confession or conversion
Zach Dallas: Good to see you're awake. Now, go check on Xiu Li, if you could. She didn't seem so well
Ezekial Ikwiano: Welcome aboard Zach!
Zach Dallas: What sort of conversion are you hoping for? Demonic?
GM: Zach seems unharmed. God was obviously not feeling horribly vindictive today.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I wanna convert you to chocolate
Stinky Pete: Worst. Baptism. EVER!
Ezekial Ikwiano: I need a snack
Uriel Iscariot checks on Xiu
Zach Dallas: Thank you, Zeke, your wisdom is infinite
Xiu Li looks much better.
Xiu Li: Hello Preacher Iscariot, how are you doing?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): better than zeke
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): so was the water actually hot?
TADM: Yes.
Uriel Iscariot: I am well, It seems the angel dust lives up to its name. What a good gent Zeke was for sharing.
Xiu Li: Hmm? I assumed you did something to Zach Dallas to perhaps cure his curiosity before he kills someone.
Zach Dallas: OY PETE COME OVER HERE
Stinky Pete: Throw him back overboard!
Stinky Pete runs away
Zach Dallas pokes Zeke with DMH
Uriel Iscariot: I do nothing save spread the good news. It seems hes already plucked his eye out and did something to his hand....I think he may have listened to that part too much.
GM: Nothing happens when you poke Zeke with the DMH.
Uriel Iscariot: What should we do with that lad?
Zach Dallas heads over to Xiu Li
Ezekial Ikwiano: Zach, why do you smell so loud. You need to clean your numbers
Xiu Li: Well, Peaches over there would like to tie him to a bed and do some rather..interesting things to him. As to what you and I will do with him...
Xiu Li shrugs.
Zach Dallas: I'd try Pete, but I don't know if I can handle the retribution from that. Much less benevolent
Ezekial Ikwiano: Who's peaches?
Zach Dallas: You look better. I'm glad that was temporary. I appologize again for the distress. I didn't realize it would do that much harm
Zach Dallas removes his hat and bows
Zach Dallas: he's still a bit wet
Xiu Li: Apology accepted.
Uriel Iscariot: What? Peaches knows how to do exorcism? Why I say, that sounds like a great Idea, I'll just let her know im glad shes going to show Zach whole new world.
Xiu Li bows.
Zach Dallas: Yes, Uriel. Exorcism is exactly what she meant
Zach Dallas: by the way, try Pete
Ezekial Ikwiano trys to stand up.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Vigor [1d10 = 5]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility [1d12 = 11]
Uriel Iscariot: Here, I'll be right back. After today's events, you are perfectly game eh? You dont want your demons getting you tossed off a ship again do you?
Xiu Li: Yes, I believe Zach could use a good "exorcism."
Uriel Iscariot looks for peaches.
Zach Dallas: I don't have demons inside me. Crimany...
Ezekial Ikwiano: I think Peaches wants to fuck you, I got that sense quite clearly
One of the sunbathing women winks and looks at Zach in a way that tells Uriel she is totally planning to "exercise" him.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
TADM: Yes - that is spelled the right way.
Uriel Iscariot back to Zach.
Uriel Iscariot: Zach Dallas, it is the will of the LORD that you let this fine lady liberate you from your oppressors.
Ezekial Ikwiano ties one end of his rope around his waste and the other end to the railing of the ship.
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d6 = 11]
Uriel Iscariot: You would not be so quick as to cross the lord AGAIN on one day, whouldst thou?
Zach Dallas walks over to Uriel
Zach Dallas explains what Xiu Li was really talking about and what he is openly proclaiming
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 3]
Zach Dallas is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 7]
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [1d6 = 9]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): DENIED!
Uriel Iscariot: Persuasion [1d8 = 6]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): NOOOO
Uriel Iscariot is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Smarts [1d12 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot: Persuasion [1d8 = 4]
Uriel Iscariot is using a benny
Uriel Iscariot: Persuasion [1d8 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot is using a benny
Uriel Iscariot: Persuasion [1d8 = 15]
Zach Dallas: Exorcisms take a full week
Zach Dallas: We'll do it when we get back
Uriel Iscariot: Thats not what she told me :3
Captain Fong: It is always sad when a man dies a virgin.
Ezekial Ikwiano: They say you should consult a doctor if your exorcism lasts longer than 4 hours
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): kn(faith), Uriel
The sunbathing women all laugh.
Ezekial Ikwiano has been awarded a benny
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
TADM: Okay - that was benny worthy.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Yeah, then he'd have 1 eye and 3 legs
Uriel Iscariot: Just do it before we get to Dragons Breath - Peaches agreed to it, you wouldn't want to deny a nice lady of faith?
Zach Dallas: Anyways, I lost one of my gloves in the water out there
Zach Dallas: so I need to get the replacement
Uriel Iscariot: You need the LOVE of the LORD
Uriel Iscariot: Common, into the cabin with ye.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Common Zach, You lost the persuasion ba'ttle. Peaches!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I lost one persuasion ba'ttle. Not two. I am either unconvinced that I need one or unconvinced that Peaches can perform them
Campaign saved.