Chat log started at 23.9.2017 / 16:01:52

Visit http://www.fg-con.com for the best online RPG convention. Every year in May and October.
MoreCore Ruleset (Version 1.39 20170420). This ruleset adds features and flexibility to CoreRPG allowing you to play more game systems. This has grown from the MoreCore extension and adds a range of generic features. This ruleset coded by damned and ianmward and additional thanks to Trenloe and others for their assistance along the way. This incorporates dice rolling extensions from Ikael, DMFirmy, Trenloe, Frostbyte, Imiri, Myrddin, Sibelius, damned and ianmward. Other devs may add new roll types. You can Create a library of Rolls and you can drag Rolls into the MoreCore tab of the PC sheet and the Rolls field of the NPC sheet.
Type /dicehelp to see Dice String info in game.
Type /morecorehelp to access the MoreCore User Manual in game. http://www.diehard-gaming.com/mchelp.html
Fantasy Grounds Theme Extension - Conan 2d20 Theme V3.1 by Jolly. More great resources at http://www.thejollygm.blogspot.ca
Visit http://www.fg-con.com for the best online RPG convention. Every year in May and October.
MoreCore Ruleset (Version 1.40 20170909). This ruleset adds features and flexibility to CoreRPG allowing you to play more game systems. This has grown from the MoreCore extension and adds a range of generic features. This ruleset coded by damned and ianmward and additional thanks to Trenloe and others for their assistance along the way. This incorporates dice rolling extensions from Ikael, DMFirmy, Trenloe, Frostbyte, Imiri, Myrddin, Sibelius, damned and ianmward. Other devs may add new roll types. You can Create a library of Rolls and you can drag Rolls into the MoreCore tab of the PC sheet and the Rolls field of the NPC sheet.
Type /dicehelp to see Dice String info in game.
Type /morecorehelp to access the MoreCore User Manual in game. http://www.diehard-gaming.com/mchelp.html
Fantasy Grounds Theme Extension - Conan 2d20 Theme V3.1 by Jolly. More great resources at http://www.thejollygm.blogspot.ca
CoreRPG ruleset v3.3.2 for Fantasy Grounds Copyright 2015 Smiteworks USA, LLC
'Jason' connected
'Pendaan' connected
'Chappy' connected
'Solistar' connection lost. Waiting for reconnect
Pendaan: hi buddy
Grimork: Alchemy Successes = 2 [2d20 = 16]
Spanky the Conqueror: [2d20 = 25]
Grimork: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 16]
Spanky the Conqueror: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): [6d6 = 26]
Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC
Spanky the Conqueror: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
Spanky the Conqueror: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 22]
Spanky the Conqueror: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
Pendaan: [1d20 = 4]
Pendaan: Acrobatics Successes = 1 [2d20 = 16]
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Grimork: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-7D): [7d6 = 24]
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 21]
Grimork: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-7D): [7d6 = 27]
Pendaan: Craft Successes = 0 [2d20 = 16]
Spanky the Conqueror: Here comes Spanky!
Grimork: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 18]
Left Leg
Grimork: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 6]
Left Arm
Pendaan: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 13]
Torso
Chat log started at 23.9.2017 / 16:32:21

Visit http://www.fg-con.com for the best online RPG convention. Every year in May and October.
MoreCore Ruleset (Version 1.40 20170909). This ruleset adds features and flexibility to CoreRPG allowing you to play more game systems. This has grown from the MoreCore extension and adds a range of generic features. This ruleset coded by damned and ianmward and additional thanks to Trenloe and others for their assistance along the way. This incorporates dice rolling extensions from Ikael, DMFirmy, Trenloe, Frostbyte, Imiri, Myrddin, Sibelius, damned and ianmward. Other devs may add new roll types. You can Create a library of Rolls and you can drag Rolls into the MoreCore tab of the PC sheet and the Rolls field of the NPC sheet.
Type /dicehelp to see Dice String info in game.
Type /morecorehelp to access the MoreCore User Manual in game. http://www.diehard-gaming.com/mchelp.html
Fantasy Grounds Theme Extension - Conan 2d20 Theme V3.1 by Jolly. More great resources at http://www.thejollygm.blogspot.ca
CoreRPG ruleset v3.3.2 for Fantasy Grounds Copyright 2015 Smiteworks USA, LLC
'Solistar' connected
'Chappy' connected
'Pendaan' connected
'Jason' connected
Derrick: Dagger: (Reach 1-Hidden-Parry 1-Thrown-Unforgiving-5D): [5d6 = 12]
Solistar: [1d20 = 12]
Grimork: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb): [4d6 = 19]
Spanky the Conqueror: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
GM: Stealth Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Spanky the Conqueror: Willpower - 9 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 7]
Grimork: [1dF = 1]
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [7]
Swarthy Merchant: Are we ready to rumble?
Swarthy Merchant: Are we ready to rumble?
Are we ready to rumble?
Solistar: [1d20 = 2]
Solistar: [1dF = -1]
Solistar: [1dF = -1]
Spanky the Conqueror ?
Swarthy Merchant: So friend Grimork, you signed this agreement with me the other night in the tavern. Now is the time for it to come due. I have this map, but I lack the fortitude to investigate it myself.
Spanky the Conqueror: AHAHHAHAHA lacks the fortitude!
Swarthy Merchant: Therefore, you shall do this for me, per the contract we signed. You and your friends shall do this for me.
Swarthy Merchant: Yes, indeed, loicloth clad man.
Spanky the Conqueror: ...wait...I'm drinking
Grimork <ugh> I wish I hadn't drank the whole fishbowl of cyberian firewater
Spanky the Conqueror: what is your quest?
Spanky the Conqueror: ...what is your favorite color?
Swarthy Merchant: So, here's the map, I am curious in a single item reputed to be at the end of this map, it is a three foot long amber rod. Anything else you find is yours to keep.
Solistar jelous of the swarthy merchange.... Solistar wished he had a cool name like that
Swarthy Merchant: That is my quest, and my favorite color is blood red. Thanks for asking.
Spanky the Conqueror: WHAT! 3 foot long rod...and you WANT IT?!?
Spanky the Conqueror: sicko
Solistar: sounds kinda painful
Grimork chooses not to ask where it will go
Swarthy Merchant: Of course, I need it for something best left out of polite conversation. I am told with the proper enchantments it will vibrate for hours.
Spanky the Conqueror: ....this is a polite conversation?
Grimork: Of course. I always live up to my agreements
A group of school children walk by.
Spanky the Conqueror wondering what the map looks like
Grimork: What does the rod do?
Swarthy Merchant hands Grimork a map.
Spanky the Conqueror: it vibrates
Grimork: What else are we likely to find along the way
The map is a solid block of marble flooring tile, about 2' square, and has, what looks like a topographical layout of an undisclosed area.
Spanky the Conqueror: better question - what on the map gives the impression you don't have the intestinal fortitude to manage this?
Swarthy Merchant: I get horse sick very easily.
Swarthy Merchant: And my feet chafe if I walk too far.
Spanky the Conqueror: ...uhm...you have to be on top of the horse
Spanky the Conqueror: how far is the journey?
Swarthy Merchant: I believe you need to travel down the north road towards Hyperborea for three days by horse.
Swarthy Merchant: You will know you are in the right place when the map on the tile looks like where you are.
Grimork: Ok. Is the item in a building or underground?
Grimork: What should we expect to encounter along the way?
Swarthy Merchant: The item you are looking for will be found somewhere in this area. There is a ruined villa nearby, start your search there.
Grimork: Is the area abandoned?
Swarthy Merchant: It is quite possible there are underground dwellers in the area who may have looted it from the place.
Swarthy Merchant: There are some farmsteads and farms in the area, they are likely residents of Zamora.
Grimork: How did you come to find out about this item?
Swarthy Merchant: I acquired it from someone who drank too much Cimmerian Firebrandy.
Grimork needs to start drinking at home instead of in public places
Spanky the Conqueror: whispers to Grimork...you owe me much beer...lets get the guys giant amber dildo so we can get paid
Swarthy Merchant: One last request, in order for me to keep track of your progress, my pet raven will follow you.
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 33]
Spanky the Conqueror: wait...we have a friggin bird following us?
A very large raven flies over and settles on the ground near the group. It gives the characters an appraising look, then begins preening itself.
Spanky the Conqueror: cool...I might get hungry
Spanky the Conqueror: mmm....chicken wings
Solistar: raven wings?
Swarthy Merchant: Yes, try not to eat him, but if you try, I do not take responsibility for any lost limps you may suffer.
Swarthy Merchant: ...or limbs...damn my thick accent
Solistar: is that like going sterile?
Grimork thinks raven looks familiar
Spanky the Conqueror: ...it's a small bird...and swarthy merchant is still drinking
Spanky the Conqueror: all ravens look the same
Swarthy Merchant: Good luck all, I look forward to your glorious success.
Spanky the Conqueror: so long as we bring him back A raven...we're good
Swarthy Merchant leaves, as he is intimidated by Spanky's intense masculinity.
Spanky the Conqueror makes his pecs dance
Solistar: Counsel 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Solistar: Acrobatics Successes = 2 [2d20 = 8]
Solistar: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 8]
Pendaan: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 29]
Derrick: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 13]
Pendaan: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 19]
Solistar: [20d12 = 105]
With Pendaan's guidance, along with some assistance from Solistar and Derrick, the group makes good progress on the first day and finds a nice campsite. The mule carrying the giant 2' square flooring tile seems quite happy to not be carrying it when you stop to rest.
Spanky the Conqueror starts to drink more beer so his mule is happy with less weight
The raven perches on the back of Spanky's mule and sits there rather lazily throughout the day.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders why the raven chooses his ass to perch on
Spanky's mule is happy about the reduction in weight, but hopes Spanky does not drink so much he does something that causes the mule to walk bow-legged tomorrow.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders if there is a cliff nearby
The raven gives Spanky's ass an appraising look.
Grimork: Survival 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 5]
Solistar: Willpower - 10 Successes = 2 [2d20 = 4]
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 29]
Solistar: Observation 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 15]
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Derrick: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Grimork: Observation 1EXP Successes = 2 [2d20 = 15]
It is getting to be towards the end of Spanky's watch when he notices a blinking bluish light in the distance. It appears to be about 500' away.
Spanky the Conqueror looks at his mug of beer, shakes his head and goes for a closer look
Spanky the Conqueror: nothing bad ever happens from following lights
The bluish light pulses and draws away from Spanky.
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 0 [2d20 = 29]
The light is amazing and wonderful, Spanky has never seen anything more amazing in his life. He seriously considers worshiping it.
He is now about 250' from the rest of the camp.
Spanky the Conqueror doesn't worship that light
It appears to be some sort of floating bird like thing, it is hovering away from you, slowly.
Spanky the Conqueror glares menacingly at the light...readies broadsword and is ready to kick the closest person to wake them
Spanky the Conqueror tells the raven to go mate with the other bird
The raven appears to be sleeping contentedly while nesting on Spanky's ass.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders if shiny bird looks like a turkey
Grimork is dreaming of naughty acts with large breasted women
Spanky the Conqueror wishes he was dreaming right now
The bird looks vaguely like a turkey to Spanky.
Spanky the Conqueror grabs rock and throws it at the bird
Spanky the Conqueror: Throw Rock: (Reach 2-Improvised-Stun-Thrown-2D): [2d6 = 6]
Spanky the Conqueror: Ranged Weapons 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 28]
Spanky's rock sails through the air and lands nowhere near the bird. It vanishes.
GM: The bird, not the rock.
Grimork dreams about being able to hit the broad side of a barn better than spanky
Spanky the Conqueror thinks pussy bird
Spanky the Conqueror thinks he scared the bird out of existence and goes back to drinking
The rest of Spanky's watch passes uneventfully.
Derrick Next time, show some empathy
Spanky the Conqueror tells the next person at watch he defended the camp single-handedly by flying menances
The next morning dawns, bright and cheery but a little cooler than the previous day. The horses and mules seem a little less excited about this journey than the previous day. Especially the one carrying the 2' square flooring tile.
Spanky the Conqueror thinks he apparently can't emote correctly and spell menace
The flooring tile does weigh about 40 pounds. It is at least 6" thick (or more) and seems to be made out of marble.
Pendaan: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
Solistar: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 6]
Spanky the Conqueror: Survival Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
Derrick: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 26]
Grimork: Survival 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 12]
Thanks to Pendaan's excellent Survival skills, along with help from Grimork and Solistar, he picks through the trail and leads the group to a good campsite without any serious issues.
Unfortunately, Derrick decides to help make camp by cheerfully trying to light a fire while a mule is taking a dump.
Spanky the Conqueror hey! watch my ass!
The flatulence catches fire and explodes, detonating quite massively and setting Spanky's ass (both of them) on fire!
Mule: Hee haw! Hee haw!
Spanky the Conqueror: holy hell beasts of zamora!
Mule bucks and kicks.
Mule is going to run in terror.
Spanky the Conqueror drops and rubs ass on ground
Derrick: Result: fire is started. That was the goal
Mule looks like he is going to make the other animals bolt also.
Spanky the Conqueror grabs mule and rubs ass all over ground
Grimork tries to calm animal while stifling laughter
The raven is watching all this with amusement.
Spanky the Conqueror thinks stupid raven started it
Grimork pours water on mule
Grimork: Animal Handling 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
Spanky the Conqueror: Animal Handling 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 10]
Spanky the Conqueror successfully handles own animal ass
Spanky and Grimork stop the situation from getting worse.
Derrick comforts the mule.
Spanky the Conqueror eyes Derrick holding his ass
Mule is interested in a brochure on Derrick's spa services.
Spanky the Conqueror wretches in the bushes
Derrick looks to see that the tile is still intact.
Raven: laughes.
Raven laughs.
Spanky the Conqueror thinks of dreaming of raven wings tonight
Solistar: Observation 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 26]
Derrick: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 1 [2d20 = 17]
Grimork: Observation 1EXP Successes = 2 [2d20 = 9]
The night passes uneventfully, except for Pendaan's watch.
He sees a glowing blue light slithering towards him.
You are in Zamora, on the border near the mountains. It is generally unremarkable and dotted with small farmsteads.
Grimork: dreams of ruining good farmer's daughters
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 4 [2d20 = 3]
Spanky the Conqueror dreams of past farmer's daughters conquests..
You notice that it is a blue snake, about 6' long and making it's way towards the camp in a very direct line. The snake's physical appearance is similar to other snakes common in this region that are not poisonous. It has apparently not noticed you and is focused entirely on getting into the camp.
Derrick dreams of when she was a farmer's daughter.
Pendaan's keen observation skills tell him that the snake is headed straight for the marble tile, but neither of Spanky's asses.
The snake slithers into the camp and goes for the tile.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders why all animals go for Spanky's ass
Grimork stops grabbing one snake to kill another
Derrick glances sideways a Grimork
Pendaan: Ranged Weapons Successes = 1 [2d20 = 14]
Raven gets out a measuring stick and determines that Grimork's snake is much shorter than the new one.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders where the hell raven pulled out a stick from
Pendaan: Throw Rock: (Reach 2-Improvised-Stun-Thrown-4D): [4d6 = 16]
Grimork: grabs dagger and lunges forward toward snake to attack
Pendaan's expertly thrown rock hits the snake square in the head. It appears to be stunned and stops moving and glowing.
Spanky the Conqueror uses broadsword on snake
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 17]
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 19]
Derrick reminds everyone that there's always time for negotiation
Spanky the Conqueror reminds Derrick snake doesn't speak...just spits
Grimork: Throw Rock: (Reach 2-Improvised-Stun-Thrown-4D): [4d6 = 19]
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Spanky the Conqueror: /Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): [6d6 = 15]
Grimork: Dagger: (Reach 1-Parry-Hidden-1H-3d6): [3d6 = 6]
Grimork: [1d6 = 1]
-> Solistar: You can tell that whatever enchantment was directing the snake was broken when it was hit by the rock, and right now it is just a large and torpored snake that is really shocked that it is here and then gets hacked to pieces by your comrades.
Grimork and Spanky hack the snake into pieces which qull fit quite nicely on spits for purposes of making a nice rotessirie snake.
Grimork and Spanky hack the snake into pieces which willl fit quite nicely on spits for purposes of making a nice rotessirie snake.
GM: Wow, I fail multiple times there, I'll stop now.
Solistar: im looking at the tablet
Solistar: to see if there is anything intereing about it
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
-> GM: You notice the map is different than the last time you looked.
Spanky the Conqueror cuddles beer mug and goes back to sleep
Grimork mugs bear and goes to bed
-> Solistar: You notice the map is different than the last time you looked.
Spanky the Conqueror thinks Grimork is trying to show him up...flexes PEcS
Grimork: looks to compare what he saw before
Grimork: Observation 1EXP Successes = 2 [2d20 = 10]
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 1 [2d20 = 22]
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 22]
Derrick: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 24]
Grimork, Pendaan, and Derrick huddle around the map to look at it more closely after Solistar notices that the map looks different.
They think he might be right, but that can't quite tell how it changed, maybe some hills moved or something. In fact, Grimork suspects you might be getting closer because the map looks somewhat familiar to...
Spanky the Conqueror the farmer's daughter
Spanky the Conqueror: sigh...sorry - shouldn't have been an emote :)
...and then Spanky walks over to help, trips over a chunk of rotisserie snake that someone left lying around, and face plants right into the map. It shudders and the hills shift again.
Spanky the Conqueror: huh?
Spanky the Conqueror: what the heck are you all looking at
Spanky the Conqueror bangs codpiece on map
The map seems to roll a bit, like it is actually comprised of small tiles.
Grimork: holds tablet in front of him and observes it while he turns a 360
The codpiece smashes into the map and a river appears.
Derrick removes the codpiece
Spanky the Conqueror: HEY!
Spanky the Conqueror: be gentle
Raven is amazed something so small could hide under so large of a cod piece.
Spanky the Conqueror really is starting to detest raven
Grimork moves the map around and tips it a little bit, The map adjusts slightly and the river goes away. The villa you are looking for seems pretty dilapidated, but earlier it looked brand shiny new.
Spanky the Conqueror: Survival Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Pendaan: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Grimork: Survival 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 17]
Derrick: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Solistar: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Pendaan looks around and it is really dark, but it looks like you might be near the right area.
Spanky the Conqueror grabs slab and sleeps on top of it
The sun comes up and it is again colder than the previous day. The animals seem pretty uneasy today. You do spot some farms in the distance and fires can be seen coming from their chimneys.
Spanky the Conqueror: sweet! farmer's daughters!
Spanky the Conqueror: no reason to be weary of farmer's daughters
Spanky the Conqueror holds codpiece to ensure no one else borrows it
Spanky the Conqueror tightens headband
Everyone stops to look at the map and compare it after Spanky wakes up. The tile is now blank and the map does not seem to exist any longer.
Spanky the Conqueror bangs codpiece on map
Spanky the Conqueror whispers sweet nothings to map
Spanky the Conqueror puts map back on ass
Spanky the Conqueror hates getting stoned
Solistar considers this and tries to remember what he saw on the map, and he notices that the two farmsteads match spots on the map, and in the distance nearby there appears to be a ruined villa with a row of hills behind it.
Spanky the Conqueror starts marching towards ruined villa
Grimork: Tally Ho!
The ruined villa appears to be about 5 miles from where you camped.
Spanky the Conqueror grabs ass and marches towards it
You get to about 1 mile from the villa and the horses and mules all stop.
Spanky the Conqueror: seriously Grimork? "Tally Ho!"
Spanky the Conqueror: where are the Hoes?
Spanky the Conqueror pulls ass forward and gives it a shake
20th level Farmer's Daughter: Who da fuck ya callin' a ho?
Grimork: No... I didn't say 'thar she ho's'
Spanky the Conqueror: holy shit! where'd the farmer's daughter come from?
Spanky the Conqueror: I thought my stealth was good
20th level Farmer's Daughter vanishes suddenly.
Spanky the Conqueror: ...but since you are here...hello there
Derrick: Your codpiece gave you away
Spanky the Conqueror: ...sigh...all scared of my size
Derrick: by scared, you mean disappointed
Spanky the Conqueror: Animal Handling 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 27]
Pendaan: Animal Handling 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Spanky's horse bucks him and the horse and mule run off.
Solistar: Animal Handling 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 9]
Derrick: Animal Handling Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
Grimork: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
Grimork manages to leap from his saddle as his horse backs away.
Solistar grabs Spanky's ass and keeps the mule with the marble tile from running off.
Grimork: doesn't completely stick the landing so doesn't do the planned sword flourish
There are some trees nearby where the animals can corralled.
Spanky the Conqueror corrals the asses and walks the rest of the way
Derrick: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 4 [2d20 = 3]
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 15]
Grimork: Observation 1EXP Successes = 0 [2d20 = 33]
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 1 [2d20 = 12]
Solistar: Observation 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 36]
Grimork checks to see if his balls are still there
Derrick: You can't lose what was never there
Derrick finds his way to the villa without any issue. Pendaan and Spanky follow him.
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Spanky the Conqueror wonders why Grimork's balls are glowing blue
Derrick: His balls are under utilized
Solistar seems to get a bit lost for a second, then focuses and notices that the group has passed through some sort of magical barrier. There is an effect around the villa which is now effecting everyone.
Grimork: Blue balls is a sign that I haven't spent enough time at the brothel
-> Grimork: You have no idea where the rest of the group went, but you see your long dead favorite pirate buddy waving at you cheerfully as he walks into the villa through an open hole in the wall.
Grimork: Cragmar! It's been so long! Wait! I have to tell you about the bastard you had with a prostitute in Messantia
Grimork: runs toward opening
The villa appears to be dilapidated and run down. The roof has mostly caved in and there is no sign of life in the area. There are holes in multiple walls and the entire building looks like it is partially collapsed.
Spanky the Conqueror scratches head
The tile has map features on it again.
Spanky the Conqueror allows Grimork to be the clever individual to find all of the traps
Spanky the Conqueror begns studying the map
Grimork: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 29]
Grimork trips on some random giant root, but manages to tuck and roll in a way that is not injurious.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders who is carrying large slab of stone
They look nothing like you saw before, they look to be a very indepth and focused section of map. There are even individual trees visible on it now.
Grimork: gets up and walks more carefully toward the building. Looks around and tries to get oriented
Spanky the Conqueror starts to case the villa and look for bolt holes where treasure might have been hidden
Spanky does not see any particular interesting bolt holes.
Spanky the Conqueror is on the lookout for beady eyes or dirty sorceror types
He does notice the entire northeast section of the villa has collapsed into a pile of rubble. He smells some stinky water.
Grimork: Calls for Spanky, Solistar, Derrick, and Pendaan trying ti figure out where they went
Spanky the Conqueror goes over and kicks Grimork to ensure he knows where he is at
Spanky the Conqueror then walks boldly into the villa
Spanky the Conqueror: what happened?
Spanky the Conqueror: you seemed lost
Spanky the Conqueror: now you are found
Grimork: WTF?
Grimork: Where's everyone else?
Spanky the Conqueror: walking around - you blind now?
Spanky the Conqueror: sheeeet
Spanky the Conqueror: your friend is not there
Spanky the Conqueror: stop chasing will-o-wisps
Spanky the Conqueror bulks up to appear menacing to dark villa
Grimork: No... Not wisp. Old buddy
Spanky and Grimork walk into the building and are in rectangular room about 10' by 15' long. The floor might have been hardwood at some point but is now overgrown with moss and lichen.
Spanky the Conqueror: mmm I can turn this into scotch I think
Spanky the Conqueror: it's like peat moss
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 21]
Mule: Lore 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 4 [2d20 = 3]
Solistar looks up and notices the ceiling is marble tiles and seems to be mostly intact. When he looks at it it is a beautiful night sky with ornately carved stars revealing constellations - that do not match any he knows of.
Spanky the Conqueror: looks to see if any tiles are missing that are 2' x 2' and 6" deep
Derrick looks up and notices the ceiling tiles are overgrown with moss in clumps and need to be seriously cleaned before any value can be had. It also looks like Spanky is right, and a corner tile is missing.
Derrick estimates cleaning this place up to make it useful for purposes of figuring out the rest of the map will take a couple hours.
Spanky the Conqueror puts on gloves...who knows where nature has been
Grimork: I recommend you cover your ass too
Derrick also thinks that the name of this villa was once Hybris, and he thinks based on the view visible spots there is some sort of underground area that is accessible from the interior of the villa.
Spanky the Conqueror: HA! as if...
Spanky the Conqueror shakes ass and does butt flexes
The ceiling is only about 7', so most of the party can just stand there and scrub by reaching up and scraping away the moss.
Spanky the Conqueror starts looking for secret doors or entrances to deep, dark dungeons of S&M
Solistar agrees about the name of the villa and the underground part.
Solistar: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Solistar thinks him and Spanky should definitely go look for secret doors while everyone else is cleaning things.
Grimork: Starts pulling down plants from ceiling and throwing them outside
Derrick assist Grimork.
Pendaan assists Grimork.
Solistar and Spanky walk into the adjoining hallway and there is a creak and a spray of dust, then a piece of ceiling tile drops and falls on Solistar.
Mule: [TABLE] Combat Die = [3d6 = 8]
1 damage + Effect
Spanky the Conqueror laughs correctly
The bricks smash into Solistar and stun him for a couple seconds.
-> Solistar: You have a vision of needing to go to the northeast.
Spanky the Conqueror thinks Solistar looks stunning
Spanky the Conqueror starts walking NE
Spanky the Conqueror stays out of water...might mar his boots
What remains of the yard is overgrown and littered with rotten apples and the occasional shattered remnants of cider presses. Most of this side of the villa is now a murky, stinking pond. From time to time, a burble of bubbles comes to the surface as if a single, giant fish made the pond its home.
Spanky the Conqueror throws rock into pond where last bubble popped
Solistar: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 26]
Solistar discovers that something broke most of the tree branches under five feet in height. This occurs often enough that new growth hasn’t replaced the broken branches.
The rock flies back out of the water and smashes into Spanky's chest.
Spanky the Conqueror: ouch!
Spanky the Conqueror: stupid water spiders
Spanky takes 3 points of damage and is knocked backwards against the wall and then falls prone from the impact.
Spanky the Conqueror curses in at least 2 languages at water
Spanky the Conqueror is going to take a minute
Spanky the Conqueror looks around for rotten apple cores
Spanky finds some.
The floor and walls are stone. The floor is slick with mold and mildew and a little swampy from water.
The water is brackish and you cannot see into it, other than to catch brief glimpses of things that look like giant Koi fish.
Spanky the Conqueror throws apple cores into water
Nothing happens from the apple cores being thrown in.
Spanky and Solistar walk to the southeast and see a short hallway that slopes down a slight distance, with stairs at the end that descend into darkness.
Spanky the Conqueror lights a torch
There is a sheen of water that heads down, making the footing a bit treacherous as you move forward.
Spanky the Conqueror scouts the way
Spanky the Conqueror: if I find anything bad, I'll yell
Spanky heads down the stairs, there are 15 steps that lead to a short corridor that ends in a pair of double doors.
Water has accumulated at the bottom of the ramp and blocks the doors from opening. There are no obvious handles, or keyhole and the hinges are on the other side of the doors. The doors have been dented and buckled by all manner of hammers and rams, but one thing stands out. The doors have three dents about two feet in diameter where something has cracked the finish and exposed lines of gleaming metal. None of the other blows have gotten past the verdigris so this must have been a very powerful force.
Solistar walks back around the corner and yells down the hallway.
Pendaan, Derrick, and Grimork have been working at this tile cleaning for hours. Clearly those other two yokels have been napping or some crap. Lazy bastards.
Spanky the Conqueror looks for secret doors and/or levers
Then you hear something that sounds like Solistar yelling, "I want it on the stairs, give it to me you filthy beast!"
Spanky the Conqueror ignores nastiness above him
Solistar: thats some wishful thinking
Solistar has delivered his message and heads back to find Spanky looking at a pair of doors, as described above.
Spanky finds neither secret doors, nor levers.
Grimork wonders when he'll be done with this damnable bush trimming
Spanky the Conqueror goes and searches other rooms which doesn't appear like a giant beast beat down
The water in front of the doors is about 6" deep, you are not sure where it is draining to, as there is more running down the stairs all the time.
Spanky spots Solistar coming down the stairs, but Solistar has been off wandering around for at least 30 minutes to just deliver a damn message. In Spanky's opinion.
Solistar wonders what Spanky was doing in the dark with a torch for the last hour.
Pendaan, Derrick, and Gimork have successfully cleaned the tiles, it took about 12 hours in your opinion, and you are all suffering from fatigue.
Grimork: I need a nap
Grimork: Reattachs tile to ceiling
Spanky and Solistar walk into a narrow room that looks like it was a small stable at some point. There are bones in stalls and a variety of horse related implements in decay.
Grimork Recalls long days and nights swabbing decks during training
Solistar: Observation 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
Spanky the Conqueror: Healing 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 4]
Solistar notices that the creatures here are more recent than the other ruins in the area. Spanky notices that they are a mixture of horse and donkey bones, but disturbingly, most of them have been gnawed on and it appears something was keeping animals here as fodder.
This looks like it might have been a bath. With water bubbling up from some unknown spring, the baths are slick and dangerous to explore. Numerous holes in the walls and floor prevent the room from flooding too badly and, while the pattern has long since worn away, the original tiles are still intact.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders if any of this looks like it was on the 2' x2' stone tablet
The kitchen lays in disrepair like the triclinium. Tracks abound, leading into the forest before returning to the yard.
Solistar: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Spanky the Conqueror: Survival Successes = 2 [2d20 = 8]
Solistar: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
Spanky determines that a large number of booted feet, but small in stature, move in and out of the area frequently. They appear to head in the direction of a nearby copse of trees. It also looks like some elements of the kitchen were used around the time the animals were being consumed as fodder.
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 32]
Solistar agrees with some of what Spanky says, but then gets distracted.
Solistar: Observation 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 32]
-> Spanky the Conqueror: You keep hearing Solistar mutter, "Yes master, I worship you and praise you at all times." You don't think he is talking to you or about you.
Spanky the Conqueror wonders why Solistar keeps talking to himself
Spanky the Conqueror walks back to rest of group and tells them findings from other rooms and pond that spits
Pendaan, Derricka, and Grimork get the tile fixed back in place. There is a shimmer and the ceiling glows blue. Just as that happens, Spanky and Solistar walk back in.
Spanky the Conqueror: what happened in here?! it looks great
The map on the ceiling shimmers and it turns into a map of the surrounding area. It even looks like it is updating, as you can see farmers and animals moving around on the map.
Spanky the Conqueror: you guys did all of this in just a couple of hours?
Grimork: What??!!! It's been like 12 hours
Spanky the Conqueror: ...pssshh...no it hasn't
Grimork: ...
Spanky the Conqueror: I just looked in a room, got spit on by a pond, and then saw some doors and rooms
The map is a live view of the world in a 5 square mile block centered on the villa.
Grimork: Here... Look at my sun dial
Spanky the Conqueror: your sun dial is off
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 20]
Grimork: No... I calibrated it just yesterday
Spanky the Conqueror: I don't think you set it for Zamora time
Nearby you see a hole leading into the ground in a copse of trees near the villa.
Spanky the Conqueror: so...why do you guys think it's been 12 hours...and why are you sweating so much?
-> Solistar: This appears to be a very powerful form of the spell Atavistic Voyage. You suspect it might be Acheronian Magic.
Spanky the Conqueror: I count less than 2 hours...mostly because I had to rest from stupid rock hit and I searched for secret stuff in stinky hole for a bit
Grimork: You'd be sweating to if you'd contribute a little bit
Spanky the Conqueror: I did...it takes effort to flex this much
Acheron was a very powerful sorcery based Empire that ruled most of these lands about 3000 years ago.
Grimork: Can we see animals and creatures moving on the ceiling?
Yes you can.
Spanky the Conqueror: so...booted feet...to copse of trees...go stick ourselves into a hole, or beat our meat on a door
Spanky the Conqueror: ...or go find what the hell is in the damn pond
Spanky the Conqueror looks at ceiling to see what is in the damn pond
The damn pond appears to be filled with one very large Koi fish.
Spanky the Conqueror: ...sushi anyone?
Grimork: (POLL) Hole
Grimork: (POLL) Pond
Spanky the Conqueror: (POLL) booted feet towards woods with treasure
GM: We can stop when folks are ready to call it a night. Basically not long after you make the above choice and we move in that direction will be a good stopping point.
Spanky the Conqueror we're about to get the shaft
You find the hole in the corpse of trees, the trail of booted feet reaches the same spot. The hole is actually a carved mine shaft and there are stairs going down. You take the stairs and they descend for about 15 minutes.
Fortunately, everyone remembered to bring torches. You reach the bottom and the ceiling is about 8' high.
Spanky the Conqueror focuses on where booted feet walked to see if they avoided any areas
However, you notice the depth of the stairs is off, they are carved for people who seem to be relatively short in stature.
Spanky the Conqueror: fucking short people
The walls look like they have been worked over with picks and awls, and have been very carefully worked over.
There is a single shaft leading off to the north of where you entered.
Spanky the Conqueror looks for missed treasure
Spanky the Conqueror walks up shaft watching where booted feet walked
There is a single tunnel leading off to the north of where you entered.
Spanky will not find any treasure, no matter how many successes he rolls.
Spanky the Conqueror will keep searching for treasure
Spanky the Conqueror = Confidence and Determination
Spanky the Conqueror thinking this is a long tunnel
Spanky the Conqueror looks for smurfs
You walk along the eight foot high tunnel for about 5 minutes where you hear the beating of thousands of wings coming straight at you.
Spanky the Conqueror thrusts torch and broadsword forward
Spanky the Conqueror protects the codpiece
Three sparrows get impaled on the broadsword, and one gets cooked on the torch.
Spanky the Conqueror eats the sparrow
Four others appear to be dazed by smashing on the codpiece.
Grimork: Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to work I go. With hand grenades and razor blades. Hi Ho!
Spanky the Conqueror does the codpiece windmill
Derricka finds sparrows clustered in her undergarments for weeks.
Spanky the Conqueror: ....ewww
Pendaan doesn't want to know where that sparrow was when he finds it, but it smells like something he ate.
Strangely, they part around Solistar and avoid him.
Solistar why does everything related to spank have to do with his codpeice
Grimork gets two caught in his mouth, he notes they taste like chicken.
Derricka: it's in the name
Grimork: They're so cute when they nest in my beard
Grimork: ** epic beard
One sparrow dies smashing into Spanky's pecs.
Derricka: Sparrows or Farmers' daughters?
Spanky the Conqueror: between his pecs...I crushed it
Grimork: Yes
About ten seconds later the sparrow swarm has passed.
Spanky the Conqueror: birds are so flighty
You continue on down the tunnel for a short distance and reach a four way intersection.
Derricka: Dad joke ....
Grimork: They are here to make sure we know when spanky cracks one off
Spanky the Conqueror: huh? please....I announce that
Every way except the one you are coming from drops from 8' in height to 5' in height, meaning it will be a cramped and hunched over walk for the party.
Spanky the Conqueror: ...so...yeah...lets stay on the larger ceiling path
Spanky the Conqueror: Survival Successes = 0 [2d20 = 24]
Pendaan: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Derricka: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Grimork: Survival 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 17]
The larger ceiling path takes you out of the mine.
Grimork, Derricks, and Pendaan scout for tracks and determine that the tracks go in all four directions, it seems the the one straight south path is used the most.
Grimork: Yes. You are quite ducky
There is a scream of rage and the walls erupt as a horde of short, hairless midgets leap from hidden alcoves and attack the group.
Spanky the Conqueror waves at them
Solistar: Observation 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 15]
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 29]
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 0 [2d20 = 32]
Grimork: Observation 1EXP Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
Derricka: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 10]
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 24]
Spanky the Conqueror: Spear: (Reach 3-Parry 1-Unb-5D): vs Derro Warrior 4 [5d6 = 16]
Solistar: Bow: (Close-2H-Volley-3d6): [3d6 = 13]
Spanky the Conqueror: he was distracted by the codpiece
Solistar: Ranged Weapons 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 10]
Spanky the Conqueror growls menacingly at the other dirty midgets
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 31]
Grimork: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb): vs Derro Scavenger 3 [4d6 = 18]
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 6]
Pendaan: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): vs Derro Scavenger 2 [6d6 = 25]
Derricka: Persuade 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 4]
Derricka: Intimidate: (Close-Stun-3D): [3d6 = 15]
Derricka glares imperiously at the hairless creature. However, it seems far too crazed and focused on killing her to notice the stunning effect of her terrible gaze.
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 17]
Grimork: Parry 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Solistar: Stealth Successes = 1 [2d20 = 26]
GM: ¦¦ Shortsword (M): [7d6 = 33]
GM: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 1]
Head
The hairless creature leads forward and smashes his mace nto Grimork's head, doing 5 points of damage after armor.
GM: Agility - 8 Successes = 2 [2d20 = 12]
GM: Agility - 8 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 28]
Derricka: Parry Successes = 0 [2d20 = 33]
GM: ¦¦ Mining Tool (M): [5d6 = 20]
Derricka is clipped in the arm but it is just a grazing hit.
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
Pendaan: Parry 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 29]
They charge at Pendaan and flail wildly at him. He feels like he does not really need to try to defense himself.
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 39]
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 12]
GM: ¦¦ Shortsword (M): [5d6 = 17]
Spanky the Conqueror laughs at the derro
One of the midgets swings at Spanky, who dodges to one side effortlessly. The midget's swing does manage to decapitate his buddy who had been giving him a flanking bonus.
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 16]
Spanky the Conqueror: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb-5D): vs Derro Warrior 2 [5d6 = 23]
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 15]
Pendaan: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): [6d6 = 17]
Pendaan: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): [6d6 = 23]
Solistar: Ranged Weapons 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 18]
Solistar: Bow: (Close-2H-Volley-3d6): [3d6 = 7]
Solistar: [1dF = 0]
Solistar: [1d6 = 4]
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 16]
Grimork: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb): [4d6 = 17]
Grimork: [1d6 = 6]
Grimork: [1d6 = 4]
Grimork: [1d6 = 2]
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 19]
Grimork: [5d6 = 23]
Grimork: [1d6 = 6]
Grimork: [1d6 = 2]
Derricka: Melee Successes = 2 [2d20 = 6]
Derricka: Dagger: (Reach 1-Hidden-Parry 1-Thrown-Unforgiving-5D): [5d6 = 15]
GM: Agility - 8 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 25]
GM: Agility - 8 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
GM: Agility - 8 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 17]
GM: ¦¦ Mining Tool (M): [4d6 = 16]
Grimork gets missed. Derricka gets whacked on the other arm which is not holding the dagger of massive death impaling, and feels a little woozy, like some sort of fast acting poison entered her blood stream.
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
GM: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
GM: ¦¦ Shortsword (M): [5d6 = 15]
One of them tries to hamstring Pendaan, who leaps over the blow. His blow cleaves right through his flanking bonus' codpiece and causes the hapless midget to drop to the ground and clutch his gonads while whimpering as he bleeds to death.
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 17]
Spanky the Conqueror: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb-5D): vs Derro Warrior 1 [5d6 = 15]
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 16]
Pendaan: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): [6d6 = 11]
Solistar: Ranged Weapons 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 12]
Solistar: Bow: (Close-2H-Volley-3d6): [3d6 = 6]
Derricka: Melee Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
Derricka: Dagger: (Reach 1-Hidden-Parry 1-Thrown-Unforgiving-5D): [5d6 = 16]
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 15]
Grimork: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb): [4d6 = 15]
Grimork: [1d6 = 6]
Grimork: [1d6 = 1]
As Grimork impales the last one, it lets out a shriek and there is an explosion and a flash of light. The tunnel leading back to the north (and out of the mine) collapses as tons of debris fill the hallway behind you.
Spanky the Conqueror congratulations...you've just been conquerored
Derricka sighs
There is an acrid stench in the air and the smell of something burning.
Spanky the Conqueror searches bodies for treasure
Grimork starts his victory yodel
Spanky the Conqueror: Alchemy Successes = 1 [2d20 = 22]
Derricka: Alchemy 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 13]
Solistar: Alchemy 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 20]
Pendaan: Alchemy Successes = 1 [2d20 = 13]
Grimork: Alchemy Successes = 1 [2d20 = 18]
Spanky the Conqueror wonders why Grimork is caterwaling
Grimork: Healing 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 30]
Solistar tells from the smell that a very powerful blast of a petty enchantment called Hygron-pyre was just detonated. It is an ancient sorcerous effect is unheard of in common use outside Stygia.
Derricka: GD Stygians
In other words, someone down here knows powerful alchemical effects.
Spanky the Conqueror: kill the sorcerors!
The raven you had been forgetting about sits down and looks at you all with a beady eye.
Spanky the Conqueror stares back at raven
Campaign saved.
Chat log started at 5.11.2017 / 15:24:38

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MoreCore Ruleset (Version 1.39 20170420). This ruleset adds features and flexibility to CoreRPG allowing you to play more game systems. This has grown from the MoreCore extension and adds a range of generic features. This ruleset coded by damned and ianmward and additional thanks to Trenloe and others for their assistance along the way. This incorporates dice rolling extensions from Ikael, DMFirmy, Trenloe, Frostbyte, Imiri, Myrddin, Sibelius, damned and ianmward. Other devs may add new roll types. You can Create a library of Rolls and you can drag Rolls into the MoreCore tab of the PC sheet and the Rolls field of the NPC sheet.
Type /dicehelp to see Dice String info in game.
Type /morecorehelp to access the MoreCore User Manual in game. http://www.diehard-gaming.com/mchelp.html
Fantasy Grounds Theme Extension - Conan 2d20 Theme V3.1 by Jolly. More great resources at http://www.thejollygm.blogspot.ca
CoreRPG ruleset v3.3.3 for Fantasy Grounds Copyright 2015 Smiteworks USA, LLC
'Chappy' connected
'Derrick' connected
'Solistar' connected
'Jason' connected
'Pendaan' connected
Spanky the Conqueror: ready to rumble
Spanky the Conqueror: my codpiece is ready for action
When last we left our intrepid adventures, they were helping the mighty Grimork repay a debt made during a drunken bender. This led them to the border region north of Koth, between Corinithia and Zamora. After being randomly beset three nights in a row by strange glowing blue creatures, who generally fled or were slain with minimal fuss, they found an ancient Acheronian Estate.
While Solistar mumbled frequently to himself, praising some giant deity - which Spanky believes is the one protected by his codpiece - Pendaan, Derricka, and Grimork set about repairing an ancient ceiling mural, using the 2' square marble slab they had been lugging along for several days on the back of their ponies.
This led them to a nearby cave in a grove, where it seemed foot traffic had passed recently. Wandering down through the caves and tunnels, they reached a four-way intersection. The way back was 8' high, but the way forward down any of them was just over 5' high, presenting a problem for the normal sized humans in the group. As they were contemplating this, they were beset by a horde of small, stout, stocky, pale-skinned beardless creatures.
A fierce fight ensued, were Derricka suffered a ferocious hangnail, Solistar punched himself in the face, and Spanky discovered he was playing the wrong game system, and Grimork annihilated large numbers of enemies using a surprising 'head-butt sneak attack' maneuver which is probably copyrighted by - someone else - Just as the party was catching their collective breath...an ominous rumbling echoes...
Spanky the Conqueror: Spanky never is playing the wrong game system...
Solistar: [1dF = -1]
Solistar: [1d12 = 2]
Solistar: [1dF = 1]
Solistar: [1d20 = 7]
GM: Okay, everyone makes an Acrobatics check.
Pendaan: Acrobatics Successes = 2 [2d20 = 13]
Acrobatics
Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC
Derricka: Acrobatics Successes = 2 [2d20 = 11]
Grimork: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 6]
Spanky the Conqueror: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
Solistar: Acrobatics Successes = 0 [2d20 = 20]
Thousands of pounds of rocks collapse into the northern hallway, blocking the exit. Boulders bounce and roll down the hallways, while the characters try to dodge the damage.
GM: [TABLE] Combat Die = [3d6 = 13]
1 damage + Effect
Grimork is still feeling a little hurt that everyone tried to abandon him earlier. He needs solice from the counselor
GM: [TABLE] Combat Die = [2d6 = 7]
1 damage + Effect
GM: [TABLE] Combat Die = [2d6 = 11]
1 damage + Effect
GM: [TABLE] Combat Die = [4d6 = 16]
1 damage + Effect
GM: [TABLE] Combat Die = [4d6 = 16]
1 damage + Effect
Grimork, Spanky, and Solistar are struck by rocks and dazed from the impacts, resulting in increased difficulty from stunning until they have a chance to rest.
Spanky the Conqueror OOOOUUUCHHH!
Spanky the Conqueror kicks rocks
Spanky the Conqueror: puny humans
Spanky the Conqueror checks codpiece
GM: Spanky sees a serpent in his codpiece, it looks bigger than normal in this light.
Grimork: It's still not covering much
Solistar: [1d20 = 18]
Solistar: When last we left our intrepid adventures, they were helping the mighty Grimork repay a debt made during a drunken bender. This led them to the border region north of Koth, between Corinithia and Zamora. After being randomly setup three nights in a row by strange glowing blue creatures, who generally fled or were slain with minimal fuss, they found an ancient Acheronian Estate.
Derricka: [1dF = 1]
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): hard to cover when so large
GM: Time for a Discipline test
Derricka: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 18]
Pendaan: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 7]
Solistar: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 23]
Spanky the Conqueror: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 32]
Grimork: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
In the torchlight, you notice the large mangy raven that belongs to the person who sent you on this quest sitting on one of the rocks. You are not quite sure how it got here. It regards you silently.
Spanky the Conqueror looks hungrily at chicken
Derricka: Sorcery 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
-> Derricka: You are quite convinced the bird is a magical being, and perhaps not actually physically present.
-> Solistar: You are utterly convinced that Derricka is a soerceress and has conjured the raven as her familiar. You should consider worshiping it to gain power.
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): ...a sign to eat?
Derricka: Is it a menu shaped sign?
Grimork (moves): toward the south passage
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): south passage
The way south shortens to about 5' in height, meaning you will all be walking hunched over.
Derricka: South, indeed
Spanky the Conqueror stares hungrily at black chicken
This will make it a bit challenging should you need to fight anything, fortunately, at the end of last session, everyone prepared their sharp pointy sticks for thrusting instead of slashing with their swords.
Spanky the Conqueror thinks magical black chicken will make me stronger
GM: Almost like you have dealt with this before, in other game systems...
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): nope...always best to have sharp pointy stick in front if going in tight places
Derricka: Honestly Great Swords are probably the best bet in small confined areas
Grimork: ... Erection doesn't count as sharp pointy stick
The passage south meanders onward for about five hundred meters before it splits into a pair of passages.
The raven hops along behind the group.
Spanky the Conqueror follows the left path
Derricka: It's almost like it's asking to be eaten.
Derricka: I guess we'll follow our spirit guide to the left.
Grimork follows Spanky
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): unless someone has cool abilities to help them in dungeoness environments
The walls are straight five foot tall walls with craggy, pitted walls. The floor is worn flat and is trodden by thousands of creatures over hundreds of years.
Derricka: My skills with sailing may help out in dungeoness environments.
Solistar: Awareness - 9 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Solistar: Lore 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 18]
Derricka: Lore 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 12]
Spanky the Conqueror: Lore 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 18]
Pendaan: Lore 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
Grimork: Lore 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 11]
Pendaan: Lore 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 4 [2d20 = 2]
You realize these caves are actually all mines, and have been carved by hand from solid rock. It appears all the veins have been played out here, by expert miners who have stripped the area of wealth.
Pendaan feels a gust of wind from the southeast passage, and hears the sound of thousands of beating wings.
Spanky heads left, and everyone follows him, narrowly avoiding the giant rush of sparrows who appear from the other passage and pass the group in a torrent that lasts for over thirty seconds, as if several thousands sparrows pass you by.
Derricka: Did the black chicken follow the other birds away?
Spanky the Conqueror uses net to grab sparrows for lunch
The raven is hopping along the ground behind you.
GM: [2d12 = 13]
Spanky captures 13 sparrows in his net. They flap and attempt to escape in a piteous fashion.
Solistar: Agility - 7 Successes = 2 [2d20 = 4]
Derricka: Agility - 7 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 20]
Spanky the Conqueror watches sparrows to see if they start to die to see if bad gases are escaping...other than from Solistar
Pendaan: Agility - 9 Successes = 2 [2d20 = 8]
Spanky the Conqueror: Agility - 10 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
Grimork: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Spanky the Conqueror relights torch on Derricka's torch
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): oh...her's is out
Spanky the Conqueror relights torch on Pendaan's torch
Derricka: and... make it so
Spanky the Conqueror leads the way
You wander a bit farther down the passage way and come to a split section of the map.
Spanky the Conqueror goes left
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): no one wants that size codpiece behind them
As Solistar and Spanky move forward, a horde of chittering red eyed rats swarm towards them.
Spanky the Conqueror stabs the rats with his spear
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 16]
Spanky the Conqueror: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb-5D): [5d6 = 22]
Spanky stabs the swarm and hoists a good seven or eight of them onto his spear, stabbing and stomping them to death.
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): they deserved a good thrashing
Grimork: [2d20 = 13]
Spanky the Conqueror raging happy
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 13]
Pendaan: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): vs Vermin Swarm 3 [6d6 = 28]
Pendaan runs forward and stomps on the same batch that Spanky skewered, dispersing them.
Derricka: Melee Successes = 0 [2d20 = 37]
Solistar: Melee Successes = 0 [2d20 = 29]
Derricka: Parry Successes = 2 [2d20 = 2]
Solistar: Parry Successes = 1 [2d20 = 15]
GM: Agility - 7 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 37]
GM: Agility - 7 Successes = 2 [2d20 = 12]
Solistar: [1d6 = 6]
Solistar is bitten by one of the rats and needs to make a Resistance check.
Solistar: Resistance 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 35]
GM: Hero [2]
Solistar is using a Hero Point
Solistar feels woozy for a minute, but fortunately does not succumb to the hallucinogenic plague which the rats are carrying.
GM: [1d6 = 5]
GM: [1d6 = 4]
GM: Agility - 7 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
GM: Agility - 7 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Spanky the Conqueror doing the windmill
The rats flee into the darkness, smelling Derricka perfume and Spanky's manliness terrified them.
Spanky the Conqueror laughs at the puny scared rats
Spanky the Conqueror heading left
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): true
Derro: Ashnah, blag guta!
Derro 2: Mak nah bluta
Derricka: Linguistics Successes = 1 [2d20 = 23]
Solistar: Linguistics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 22]
Spanky the Conqueror: Linguistics Successes = 0 [2d20 = 37]
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): Ashnah, blag guta! right back at you!
Derricka listens to the conversation for a few seconds, repeats the words, Solistar mentions this sounds like phonetics from an Acheronian scroll he read...and then Spanky...
...engages in some competitive yodeling...
Derricka: Spanky should spent some time speaking with his sparrows
Derro: MAH NAG BLAH GAHATA!
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): ...how drole
Derro: A gong sounds.
A gong sounds.
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): GAHATA! I hate you too!
Derro 2: Neepit to ak ak!
Spanky the Conqueror angry
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): no I will not poke you in that way!
Spanky the Conqueror stabs the Derro
Derro 2 runs forward and stabs Spanky.
Derro runs forward and stabs Spanky.
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): suck it Derro
Spanky the Conqueror: Parry 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 17]
Spanky the Conqueror: Parry 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
Derro: Agility - 10 Successes = 0 [2d20 = 35]
Derro: Agility - 10 Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Spanky deftly parries both of their attacks.
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): suck it midgets!
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): whose your daddy now!
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 37]
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): ...damnnit
Grimork is using a Hero Point
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 14]
Spanky throws his spear into the darkness behind the Derro, confusing one who looks back and leaves himself open for Grimork's attack.
Grimork: Spear: (Reach 3-Pierce 1-Unb): [4d6 = 16]
Grimork: [1d6 = 5]
Spanky the Conqueror: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): [5d6 = 10]
Grimork skewers the one that Spanky distracted.
Grimork: Shield: (Reach 2-Knockdown-Shield 2-1H-4d6): [4d6 = 14]
Grimork: [2d6 = 9]
Grimork knocks the other one on his back with his shield.
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 40]
Pendaan steps forward to finish off the Derro and trips over his feet in the shadows, falling onto the creature's upraised sword.
Derro: ¦¦ Shortsword (M): [5d6 = 23]
Derro: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 10]
Torso
Pendaan manages to impale the sword in his gut, causing a large amount of blood to spray over the area. Bonus - the Derro is now disarmed! Bad news - it is because the rusty sword is lodged in Pendaan's gut and sliding around, tearing his intestines up something fierce.
Derro begins laughing hysterically.
Spanky the Conqueror steps back to ensure no blood gets on him
Solistar: Ranged Weapons 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 18]
Derricka: Ranged Weapons Successes = 1 [2d20 = 14]
Derricka: [2d6 = 8]
Solistar: Bow: (Close-2H-Volley-3d6): [3d6 = 8]
Grimork: Fool! You are supposed to drive your enemies before you and hear the lamentations of the women
Derricka: AFK for a moment, sorry
Solistar: Bow: (Close-2H-Volley-3d6): [3d6 = 10]
User has gone AFK. (Derrick)
Solistar pegs the Derro in the head while it is laughing. There is a crunch noise and the creature falls silent.
Spanky the Conqueror: Healing 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
Spanky the Conqueror: Healing 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 21]
Derricka: back
Grimork: You're not supposed to rub sand the in wound!
Spanky gets Pendaan to calm down and stop making it worse, by pulling the sword out of Pendaan and stabbing Grimork with it.
Derricka: Counsel 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 10]
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): another successful day
Spanky the Conqueror poses
Derricka: Persuade 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Grimork is using a Hero Point
Grimork: Healing 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Solistar: Healing Successes = 0 [2d20 = 24]
Spanky the Conqueror rubs Grimork's shoulder
Spanky the Conqueror puts toilet paper on Pendaan's wounds
Pendaan is using a Hero Point
Spanky the Conqueror goes to get his spear
Spanky finds a gong with a small hammer next to it, along with some nasty smelling rations and some water flasks.
Grimork follows Spanky down the hall to see what the chanting was about
Derricka: You could totally bang that gong
Spanky the Conqueror takes gong and hammer and crumples gong
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): total strength
Spanky the Conqueror flexes
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): how big is the gong?
It's about 18" in diameter.
Spanky the Conqueror: Brawn - 9 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Spanky bends the gong into a vaguely taco shell shaped thing.
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): cool, this is about the right size for a new codpiece
It appears to be made out of a thin copper plating of multiple sheets bolted together.
Grimork heads out to make sure noting is comign from south passage
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): I'll beat it
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): does it have any symbols?
Grimork: Just like in the movie theater
Meanwhile, Pendaan has convinced himself it's not that bad by applying hot flames to all the bleeding parts.
He also chews through a leather belt to cut down on the screaming.
Grimork sneaks loudly down the passage
The deaf creature still notices Grimork's approach...
Spanky the Conqueror moves not silently down the corridor
Spanky the Conqueror jingles the codpiece
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): here chick chick chick
The group moves down the hallway about 750 meters, for the record, your backs are getting quite sore from walking hunched over.
Spanky the Conqueror excited
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): did you see that? I totally just did flips!
There is the pounding of booted feet and a group of 10 Derro warriors rush at you.
Derro: Meegat! Gakua bhuta nok nok!
Grimork gets down on one knee so he can use bow on coming critters
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): DIE SMALL FOOTED CREATURES!
Spanky the Conqueror charges at baby critters with spear forward
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): Meegat! right back at you baby cherubs!
Spanky the Conqueror rubs on Solistar
Spanky the Conqueror (happy): good hedge wizard
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Solistar: [5d6 = 21]
Solistar: [5d6 = 23]
Spanky the Conqueror (angry): (POLL) cheer on hedge wizard
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 29]
Derricka: Sorcery 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
Solistar steps forward and calls forth an ancient Acheronian curse and a fan of flame spreads forth from him and sweeps over the onrushing Derro and immolates them, resulting in lots of melting burning lumps of flesh.
Derro: [4d6 = 18]
Derro: [4d6 = 17]
Derro: [4d6 = 13]
Derro: [4d6 = 10]
Derro: [4d6 = 13]
Derro: [4d6 = 15]
Derro: [4d6 = 12]
Derro: [4d6 = 11]
Derro: [4d6 = 18]
Derro: [4d6 = 15]
Spanky the Conqueror after seeing Solistar cast the spell is wondering why his head got smaller...
When the screaming and burning stops, everyone notices the smell of feces.
Solistar: dang, that was hotter fire than normal
Solistar: how strange
Spanky the Conqueror (angry): ...wonders where the emote is for OMG
Derro: [4d6 = 19]
Derro: [5d6 = 14]
Derro: [4d6 = 13]
Derro: [4d6 = 7]
Derro: [4d6 = 13]
Spanky the Conqueror (awestruck): sniff, sniff
Spanky the Conqueror (awestruck): who shat that?
Solistar: is holy shit bad... really bad? or just kinda
Spanky the Conqueror (awestruck): it's holy
Spanky the Conqueror (awestruck): nothing is bad if it is holy
Spanky the Conqueror (awestruck): unless it is unholy
Spanky the Conqueror pats Solistar on the ground... "there, there"
Solistar: unless the holes are in you
Solistar falls to the ground, cackling maniacally at the joy of his supreme power while his mortal frame fails him.
Spanky the Conqueror (OMG): ...
Spanky the Conqueror slaps Solistar back into his mortal frame
Derricka: Counsel 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 28]
Spanky the Conqueror searches the bodies
Spanky the Conqueror ignores the stinky shit smell from Solistar
Spanky the Conqueror (aroused): by rage
Solistar is using a Hero Point
Spanky the Conqueror goes back to look over other Derro bodies
A glowing green eyeball appears above the Derro and looks at Solistar.
Spanky the Conqueror pees on the eyeball
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 34]
Spanky's urine passes right through it.
Spanky the Conqueror: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Grimork shoots eyeball with already readied arrow
Solistar is quite convinced the eyeball is friendly and he should talk to it.
Grimork: Ranged Weapons 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
There is now an arrow stuck in the eyeball. It turns reddish.
Spanky the Conqueror makes shadow puppets to distract eyeball
You do not think this is blood, more of anger.
Derricka: Sorcery 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
Spanky the Conqueror grabs arrow stuck in eyeball and bashes it on the ground
Solistar: Intelligence - 11 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
-> Derricka: The spell is some sort of remote scrying ability which is sizing the group up and checking for magical effects.
Grimork: Hey! Raven! Shoo eye away!
-> Solistar: You think the eyeball is super cute and want it as a pet.
Solistar pets the eyeball and it makes cat purring noises.
Spanky rips the arrow out of the eyeball and smashes the arrow into the ground. The eyeball seems amused.
Spanky the Conqueror pokes eyeball with spear on Solistar's shoulder
The Raven steps forward to look at the eyeball. The eyeball looks at the Raven.
Spanky the Conqueror: bad magic
The eyeball vanishes, clearly scared by Spanky.
Spanky the Conqueror: ...why do I feel like there will be a "quothe the raven, nevermore" soon
Spanky the Conqueror carries on following on the wall on the left
Solistar: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
Spanky the Conqueror (evil): he he he
Spanky the Conqueror (evil): onwards!
Derricka: Insight 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
Solistar: Insight Successes = 2 [2d20 = 12]
Grimork: [1d20 = 17]
Spanky the Conqueror: [1d20 = 18]
Pendaan: Insight Successes = 0 [2d20 = 34]
Derricka follows Spanky the Spirit Guide and the follow the wall to the left, it comes to a bend, and they continue to follow it left. About two hours later, they realize they have walked down a giant spiral staircase into a dead end.
Spanky the Conqueror keeps following left wall after resting
Derro: Thievery Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
Spanky the Conqueror rests with back against dead end wall
Spanky the Conqueror (evil): ...dammit
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 0 [2d20 = 22]
Spanky the Conqueror keeps snoring
Spanky the Conqueror dreaming of scantilly clad maidens
You lose track of time, and your torches burn out in the darkness while you are resting...unless you have a compelling plan to keep them lit...
You rest and feel slightly better, except for Pendaan, who thinks some of his injuries are turning a bit greenish and flaky.
They also itch like mad.
Spanky the Conqueror rubs salt on Pendaan's wounds, it helps, his mother taught him
Everyone takes turns keeping their torches lit to conserve the limited supply they have. The group probably only has enough light remaining for another 14 hours underground. Then it will get very dark.
Spanky the Conqueror (tired): alright! everybody up!
The salt, once Pendaan stops screaming, actually does make things feel better.
Spanky the Conqueror: Resistance 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 23]
Spanky the Conqueror (alert): starts following left wall again
Spanky passes gas, he feels better because of the reduced pressure in his colon...however, Derricka was standing behind Spanky when this happens and his fart ignites.
Spanky the Conqueror (alert): ...sigh...not again
There is a burst of fire and Derricka screams as things are ignited.
Derricka: Acrobatics Successes = 1 [2d20 = 13]
Derricka dodges to one side, but not before her braids catch fire.
Pendaan: Survival 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Spanky the Conqueror (alert): her bra caught on fire
Pendaan is convinced he is developing a fever and likely a risk of infection.
Spanky the Conqueror totally mesmerized
Spanky the Conqueror (alert): onward!
Spanky the Conqueror starts jogging and farting following the left wall
Spanky the Conqueror: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 27]
Pendaan: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 29]
Solistar: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 22]
Derricka: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
Grimork splashes water from canteen Derrica's braids
Grimork: Discipline 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 15]
Grimork puts out Derricka's braids.
Two hours (of the fourteen left for torches) pass as you leave the dead end and go back to the main entrance.
-> Solistar: Malack is your sorcerous mentor who gives you jobs and teaches you spells.
Derricka attempts to provide Counseling and Mental Therapy to allow people to ignore their Trauma during the morning meal. Unfortunately for Spanky, this does not involve Derricka being naked.
Derricka: Counsel 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 30]
Derricka: Counsel 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 9]
Derricka: Counsel 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 17]
Derricka: Counsel 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
Derricka: Counsel 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 25]
Spanky the Conqueror (alert): FUCK YEAH BITCHES
Grimork: ...It was a dark and stormy night, in a cave complex much like this one...
Spanky the Conqueror (alert): mood excited
Spanky the Conqueror (excited): ONWARDS!
You take the other route and enter a section of the cavern complex which looks a little different.
The smooth mined out walls are replaced with varying height craggy walls. Tiny holes, many about six inches in diameter pock the walls where it looks like miners have been searching for gemstones of a specific size. There are now outcroppings and stalactites, this is clearly a newer and less mined out portion of the complex. You now estimate you are about a mile underground. The air is getting warmer.
Solistar: Alchemy 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 33]
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 24]
Derricka: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 10]
Derricka: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
There is a distant thump noise, which everyone hears, but Derricka can tell is a distant explosion, but not of a magical nature.
Spanky the Conqueror (excited): totally heading towards the thumping...
Grimork: (POLL) Towards thumping?
Spanky the Conqueror (excited): whack, whack, whack
Grimork: No fapping!
Spanky the Conqueror (excited): ...but...I like fapping?!
About two hours later (you have ten hours of torchlight left) the cavern complex changes again, and you suspect you are in an area that is newer - but also populated.
You note that it is rather suspicious you have seen none of the short stunty albinos until now...
The walls are again varying in height. There are large holes, some over a foot wide, where gemstones have been quickly excavated. Glancing into the holes, you occasionally see flecks of green or brown from your torches withn these pits. The floor before you has a finished tile inlay about a foot wide down the middle of the tunnel, which is about eight feet wide. In the distance, echoing from many directions, you hear teh sounds of picks and shovels, as well as shouts interspersed with hushed voices.
Derricka: Linguistics Successes = 0 [2d20 = 25]
Solistar: Linguistics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 4]
Stalactites and Stalagmites dot the area, they have been excavated around.
Solistar can tell these people are talking in Acheronian, and generally seem to be complaining about long work hours, unsafe work conditions, and an absence of suitable cold frothy beverages.
Spanky the Conqueror (excited): I have warm frothy beverages for them...in exchange for torches
Spanky the Conqueror (cunning): same size as my rod
Spanky the Conqueror (cunning): we'll know we are close when I can compare
Derricka: That's quite a rod...
Spanky the Conqueror (modest): thank you
Spanky the Conqueror (detective): do we have any idea from what we were told during last session as to what the rod would likely be observed as?
Spanky the Conqueror (detective): such as ...holy item...penile implant...etc
Nope, you were given no idea, other than to be warned that subterranean cannibals may possess it.
Grimork: (POLL) Pass Thru?
Solistar: Linguistics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 26]
Spanky the Conqueror (detective): (POLL) kill all on way to find rod
Solistar: hello good friends, we come in peace but will be out of here soon. we are looking for a rod
Spanky the Conqueror (detective): hahahahaha
Spanky the Conqueror (detective): Solistar is looking for his rod
Spanky the Conqueror (detective): quick...please can we borrow a magnifying glass?!?
You see a pair of Derro move just to the edge of your torch light.
Spanky the Conqueror charges Derro
Derro: Meegatz, peeko no chutta!
Solistar: Linguistics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 26]
Grimork: It might have been singed off in the last incident
Spanky the Conqueror (detective): I'll get you in the chutta!
Grimork: How rude!
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): prepare to be spanked!
Derro: Agility - 10 Successes = 1 [2d20 = 20]
Derro: Agility - 10 Successes = 2 [2d20 = 9]
Spanky the Conqueror: Parry 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 35]
Spanky the Conqueror: Parry 5EXP/5FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 38]
Derro: ¦¦ Shortsword (M): [5d6 = 21]
Derro: ¦¦ Shortsword (M): [5d6 = 15]
Derro: [3d6 = 7]
Derro: [3d6 = 15]
Derro masterfully engage in a devestating combination attack that beats Spanky in ways that he only fantasizes about.
Grimork saunters behind drawing sword in readiness
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): bunch of pussies! come on and hit me damn you!
Solistar: Ranged Weapons 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Solistar: Bow: (Close-2H-Volley-3d6): [3d6 = 14]
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): you call that a hit?!
Derro: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 14]
Torso
Derro hits Spanky right in the guts.
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): it's just a flesh wound
There is now a pickaxe stuck in his abdomen.
Spanky the Conqueror: Resistance 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
Spanky the Conqueror: Resistance 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 10]
There is an eruption of flaming gas from Spanky's gut, which conveniently cauterizes and sterilizes the injury, forces the pickaxe out of his gut, and also sets the Derro on fire.
Grimork: Peritonitis sucks. Just ask Pendaan
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): take that bitches! ass flames from hell!
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 28]
Spanky the Conqueror: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-5D): [5d6 = 18]
Spanky the Conqueror: [1d6 = 5]
Spanky remembers to use the reroll on his special ability to decapitate the Derro who is on fire.
Derricka: Melee Successes = 0 [2d20 = 26]
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 13]
Grimork: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-7D): [7d6 = 23]
Grimork: [2d6 = 7]
Grimork hacks the other one down.
Spanky the Conqueror meditates to restore Vigor
Spanky the Conqueror then searches bodies
-> Solistar: Yes, you think they said, "What, are you friendly? Did you bring beer or food?"
There is no suitable decrease in the sound of other mining noises echoing down the corridor.
Nor does it seem like you are about to be swarmed by thousands of angry Derro...yet...
-> Spanky the Conqueror: You find a few uncut emeralds and some amber among the corpses.
Grimork reaches into hole to try and retrieve green and/or brown gem
Grimork: Craft Successes = 2 [2d20 = 8]
-> Grimork: You find a collection of loose uncut emeralds and small chunks of amber worth about 1 Gold
GM: You find a collection of loose uncut emeralds and small chunks of amber worth about 1 Gold
Spanky the Conqueror tears off parts of their clothes and makes improvised torches
Reminder note to everyone -> "1 Gold" in Conan terms is the total cost of living for 1 month for the average peasant.
Solistar: Craft 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 18]
Spanky the Conqueror: so I have 1GP in gems? from searching bodies
Derricka: Craft Successes = 0 [2d20 = 34]
Pendaan: Craft Successes = 1 [2d20 = 19]
The group spends about fifteen minutes rooting around finding loose uncut emeralds and chunks of amber.
Grimork: I almost forgot that Grimork is independently wealthy
Spanky the Conqueror: so...I can apparently erase stuff...but not add...I just erased my 8 Gold
The floating green eyeball reappears above the dead miners.
Spanky the Conqueror goes to stab eyeball
Solistar: Animal Handling 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 14]
The eyeball makes purring noises while Solistar holds it.
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): that's just sick
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): stop rubbing your balls in public
Spanky the Conqueror (killer): starts whistling
Spanky the Conqueror (WTF): ..
Spanky the Conqueror gets a running start and then slides across the floor on tiles
Spanky discovers the awesomeness that is a water slide.
Spanky the Conqueror (WHHHEEEEEE): so kewl
Spanky the Conqueror (WHHHEEEEEE): continues following slide
Spanky the Conqueror looks for traps to slide under
Spanky the Spirit Guide continues on the path, it continues on for a quarter mile. The echoing sound of mining gets louder, but you see no additional miners anywhere along the route.
Spanky the Conqueror: if I see a white demon I'll grab him and shake him until he talks and tells us what we want to know...
Grimork starts moving down tunnel with tile floor. Not attempting Tom Cruise/Risky Business-like slide
-> Spanky the Conqueror: Funny you should say that...
You now have about nine hours of torchlight left.
The tunnel suddenly turns ninety degrees to left and going straight ahead opens into a vast black pit.
The tile path goes along the north edge of the pit and towards the first source of light you have seen since entering these caves other than your torches,
About five hundred feet ahead there is a soft glowing smooth white wall ahead.
It is exposed by the rock path, but looks like it extends far up and down the from the pathway.
Derricka: Observation 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 15]
Spanky the Conqueror: Observation Successes = 1 [2d20 = 16]
Pendaan: Observation 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 13]
Solistar: Observation 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 17]
Grimork: Observation 1EXP Successes = 2 [2d20 = 7]
You notice that the smooth rock wall does indeed go up and down for quite some distance, right now you would estimate you are close to a mile and a half underground.
Then you notice there are hundreds of miners working along the length of the white glowing marble, hanging from ropes and walking along a number of walkways exactly like this one.
As you get closer (about to where Spanky is now) you notice the rocks here are not mined out, but carved smooth and covered in some sort of pictographic script.
Spanky the Conqueror: Lore 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 32]
Solistar: Lore 3EXP/3FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 36]
Pendaan: Lore 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 34]
Derricka: Lore 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 3 [2d20 = 10]
Grimork is using a Hero Point
Grimork: Linguistics Successes = 1 [2d20 = 16]
Derricka and Grimork realize the entire history of this strange tribe of people is carved here. The quick version of it as they walk along the passageway is that these are an ancient slave race which has been working on excavating the giant statue (the glowing white wall) for several thousand years. Evidently the statue, once free, will follow the orders of a person who holds a giant amber rod (matching the description of the one you are looking for)...also, based on your impression of the mining going on, you think this statue is likely relatively close (i.e. about 10 years) to be free of the rock.
On the far end of the white statue you see a marble building where a glowing green light comes out of the windows.
The eye is indicating that the building is a great place to be.
Grimork: Is it's schlong proportionate?
Spanky the Conqueror: do I get the feeling Solistar is possessed?
-> Spanky the Conqueror: Possibly.
Spanky the Conqueror (WHHHEEEEEE): mine is bigger
You are not certain from here if the statue is anatomically correct, but if it is, you would feel jealous.
There are a dozen guards near the entrance of the building, they spot you but take no hostile action. One of them spots the eye and motions for you to move forward.
Spanky the Conqueror: broadsword at the ready to kill things that threaten
Spanky the Conqueror: foreign or domestic
Spanky the Conqueror (engorged): it's your brown eye
Spanky the Conqueror (engorged): the raven and your eye are in a starring match
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 32]
-> Spanky the Conqueror: Got it!@
The raven is nowhere to be seen right now.
Spanky the Conqueror: looks around for rod we are searching for
A very fat albino is sitting on a throne, he is holding the amber rod and a wearing a strange metal crown.
Solistar: in derro
Solistar: how are you doing friend?
Solistar: Linguistics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 6]
Like all the other albinos, he is hairless.
Derro speaks Common, which is annoying since Solistar actually rolled a really good Linguistics check.
Derro: I am so impressed with your understanding of our speech.
Behind the Derro overlord is a half open sarcophagus which seems to be filling with a greenish glowing liquid from the fountain behind it. Mountains of emeralds and amber are heaped around broken tables.
There are also two large piles of human sized skulls near the fountain.
Solistar: Alchemy 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 25]
Derricka: Alchemy 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 7]
Derricka and Solistar are quite convinced the fountain is full of an Acheronian alchemical substance used to animate corpses.
Spanky the Conqueror: so what bad things happen with having Wounds?
The altar in front of the Derro Overlord is covered in chewed bones.
Spanky the Conqueror: can't see reference in notes
Grimork: What is the purpose of this place and what you are doing?
-> Spanky the Conqueror: Every wound adds 1 to the difficulty check of physical actions.
Derro: I am perpetuating the orders of the masters until they return, and this place keeps the servants going. Why are you here?
Spanky the Conqueror (engorged): vacation
Grimork: We are here on behalf of the masters. They have requested we retrieve the amber rod.
Derro: I see, then you have proof of this?
Spanky the Conqueror (carefree): they've told us much about the great one you are unearthing
Derro gestures with his hand and the eyeball floats from Solistar over to him.
Grimork: Um... Yes... I was provided this coin here
Derro: Yes, I have been following you with my familiar for quite some time, I have seen your progress, it amuses me.
Spanky the Conqueror (carefree): so you know we are powerful
Solistar: Persuade 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
Derricka: Persuade 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 31]
Spanky the Conqueror: Persuade 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 33]
Solistar is using a Hero Point
Derricka is using a Hero Point
Derro: Yes, the Sorcerer among you is quite powerful, he did an excellent job of melting them down.
Derro: I almost felt bad for my minions, almost.
Grimork: Persuade Successes = 0 [2d20 = 34]
Solistar: hand over the rod or pay the consequences
Derro: Right, I look forward to this.
Spanky the Conqueror: using a Hero Point to ignore my Wounds
-> Spanky the Conqueror: Good plan!
Solistar: Ranged Weapons 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 16]
Spanky the Conqueror is using a Hero Point
Spanky the Conqueror: using a Hero Point to get an extra attack?
Solistar: Bow: (Close-2H-Volley-3d6): [3d6 = 7]
Spanky the Conqueror is using a Hero Point
Derro: [5d6 = 18]
Derro: [5d6 = 21]
Derro: [5d6 = 16]
Derro: [5d6 = 25]
Derro: [5d6 = 17]
Derro: [5d6 = 18]
Derro Overload slams the Amber Rod to the ground and it sends out a magical burst, striking everyone.
A wave of nausea hits everyone, but somehow you overcome the worst of its effects...you think..
Spanky the Conqueror (carefree): may the schwartz be with you
Solistar fires an arrow and the eye flies in front of it and knocks it out of the way.
Spanky the Conqueror: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Grimork: Andi I see your schwartz is as big as mine
Spanky the Conqueror: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-5D): vs Derro Overlord [5d6 = 12]
Spanky the Conqueror: [4d6 = 7]
Spanky the Conqueror: [2d6 = 4]
Derro: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 16]
Right Leg
Spanky the Conqueror (laughing): don't be scared
Spanky the Conqueror (laughing): go into the light
Spanky runs up and hacks off the Derro Overlord's Right Leg, he falls over into Grimork's onrushing form.
Grimork: Melee 4EXP/4FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 24]
Derricka: Ranged Weapons Successes = 1 [2d20 = 21]
Grimork: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-7D): [7d6 = 16]
The eyeball blocks Derricka's attack.
Grimork: [2d6 = 6]
Pendaan is using a Hero Point
Derro: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 12]
Torso
Pendaan is using a Hero Point
Pendaan: Melee 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 15]
Pendaan: Broadsword: (Reach 2-Parry 1-UNB-6D): vs Derro Overlord [6d6 = 27]
Grimork stabs the Derro Overlord in the chest and hoists it up on to the table.
Pendaan: [3d6 = 12]
Pendaan: [5d6 = 19]
Derro: [TABLE] Hit Location Table = [1d20 = 10]
Torso
Pendaan runs up and chops the Derro Overlord in half now that Grimork has smashed the Derro Overlord's body into the table.
Solistar solistar inspects the rod
The Derro Overlord twitches for a second and then spasms and explodes, spreading greenish glowing ooze everywhere.
Spanky the Conqueror picks up rod
The guards outside run in, they all say in one synchronous voice, "Oh come now, you thought I could be killed so easily?
You hear all the sounds of mining stop.
Four Derro step up out of the sarcophagus behind you.
Spanky the Conqueror: is there a way to dump the greenish liquid?
Spanky the Conqueror: or close the sarcophagus
Derro: "Come now, this is a good time for you to sacrifice your selves to the greater good of the masters."
-> Spanky the Conqueror: Yes to both, it would require brawn checks to do one or the other as a standard action.
Spanky the Conqueror: is the green shit in the sarcophagus?
-> Spanky the Conqueror: Yes
Spanky the Conqueror: and there is water in the fountain?
Solistar is using a Hero Point
Solistar: Sorcery - 2EXP/2FOC Successes = 0 [2d20 = 37]
Derro: [5d6 = 12]
The flames pour of of Solistar...from every orifice in every direction...
Spanky the Conqueror (laughing): ...what is that smell?
in fact...the fiery burning goodness is quite impressive...
Derro: [5d6 = 23]
Spanky the Conqueror (disgusted): ew
Grimork: Did you soil yourself again?
Solistar: [5d6 = 19]
Solistar: [5d6 = 20]
The good news is, all the bad guys take 6 points of Vigor damage with 12 Pierce and 6 Vicious damage.
Which is instantly fatal to ... ALL OF THEM .,..
Spanky the Conqueror hides behind sarchophagus from Solistar's anal leakage
The bad news is, all the good guys take 7 points of Vigor damage with 9 Pierce and 6 Vicious damage.
The even worse news is this results in some rather extensive mental damage...
Derricka is using a Hero Point
Spanky the Conqueror is using a Hero Point
Derricka: Acrobatics Successes = 0 [2d20 = 26]
Spanky the Conqueror: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 1 [2d20 = 14]
Grimork: Acrobatics 1EXP/1FOC Successes = 2 [2d20 = 12]
Pendaan: Acrobatics Successes = 0 [2d20 = 29]
Grimork: Metamucil and Metamagic just don't mix
Pendaan is in a lot of pain, and mostly hairless.
Everyone else looks very angry and highly likely to put corks in places Solistar does not want them the next time he sleeps.
The Raven swoops in and grabs the amber rod in its talon.
Spanky the Conqueror (disgusted): there is a note above where I said I grabbed it
...on the opposite end from where Spanky has it grabbed.
Spanky the Conqueror (disgusted): throws raven in green liquid
Grimork jumps in to help Spanky
Grimork takes a hold of the rod also
The raven is not letting go of the rod, so it is surprised when Spanky flings it into the green liquid, where it lets out an ear-shattering caw and there is a flash of green light.
Spanky the Conqueror (disgusted): boot ...and heel
The group finds itself on a small grassy hill.
Grimork and Spanky are latched on to an amber rod, which is dripping greenish ooze.
Derricka is grossed out by the rod at this point.
Spanky the Conqueror (irritated): while I'm rubbing the rod...is anything happening?
The rod is not doing anything right now. The raven is nowhere to be seen.
Spanky the Conqueror (irritated): oh good
Grimork draws dagger with free hand and stabs at raven
It is mid-afternoon.
'Solistar' connection lost. Waiting for reconnect
Campaign saved.