Chat log started at 13.3.2011 / 18:12:45

Savage Worlds Ruleset for Fantasy Grounds II
(c) 2009 Pinnacle Entertainment Group.
GM: The new setup for the Vent server seems to not be agreeing with the plan for voice communications.
Stinky Pete: Hmmm, that's not good.
Kazemi flees from the possibility of being "exercised" by Peaches, while Uriel chases after him, brandishing a cross and demanding that he be exorcised by the willing young woman.
Xiu Li laughs
Ezekial Ikwiano: Vigor [1d6 = 5]
Nick (Stinky Pete): "Hmmm it appears all the men died of shattered pelvises." - Futurama
Uriel chases after Zach, slips and falls into the cargo hold, where there is a loud "thunk" as he lands head first in a barrel of nails. Uriel passes out.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): hoorah!
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Where is your god now?!
Zach Dallas: Fighting: [1d6 = 16]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Fighting [1d6 = 4]
Stinky Pete: Fighting [1d8 = 3]
Stinky Pete laughs hysterically
Xiu Li goes over and heals Uriel, thus preventing him from dying. There is no guarantee he does not have permanent brain damage from the nails embedded in his forehead. Clearly he is practicing to be a crazed Fanatic from the Warhammer Empire Army.
Or a Chaos Sorcerer...it is hard to tell the difference.
Zach Dallas: OK, so our disguises are flawless with one exception: we've got at least three, probably four different forms of magic on board
Ezekial Ikwiano: How long till will get to this warlord's place
Xiu Li: It will be another two days.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I don't get it Zach
Zach Dallas: You remember how you were flying, right?
Ezekial Ikwiano: What'z that gotta do with our disguises?
Zach Dallas: Well, some people can "see" magic, or at least sense it
Ezekial Ikwiano: I was high, but not that high
Zach Dallas: and we don't exactly match properly with Holy Might and Unholy Blight. And me.
Captain Fong: No, Zach was higher.
Zach Dallas: I was in the balcony
Zach Dallas: I've got an excuse
Ezekial Ikwiano: Oh, you mean at the brawl
Ezekial Ikwiano: I thought you was talkin about that bag a cocaine I inhaled
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Hey, nick, do you want to give me a description of Pete for me to work on while we're playing?
Zach Dallas: No, this was back in the arena
Zach Dallas: You can think of magic as having different colors
Captain Fong returns to doing "captain-y" things.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Can't you hide your magicalness?
Zach Dallas: Yes
Zach Dallas: Not too hard
Ezekial Ikwiano: Why not rub that fucked up hand a hours all over everyone
Zach Dallas: All other dozen or so passengers? Not so much
Ezekial Ikwiano: that always works out well
Zach Dallas: Oy, are you sure you should be remembering that?
Zach Dallas: You were pretty messed up
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 4]
Peaches looks enthusiastic about Zach giving her a rub-down.
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 3]
Ezekial Ikwiano: I 'members it fine
Zach Dallas: Anyways, I know that Uriel can't hide his
Ezekial Ikwiano: I shouldn'ta given him any of my cocaine.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I'm all out an we got two more days to go on this trip
Ezekial Ikwiano lights a cigar.
Zach Dallas: Xiu Li, what are the odds that they are going to be checking magic at the docks?
Xiu Li: Very low, they would not have much reason to do so. Kang's palace is a different story.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): how many girls did Xiu Li bring?
GM: You count 12 women.
Zach Dallas: Are all of your girls going to be joining us?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Hopefully she had sense enough to bring nice, mundane women rather than magical fairy-hookers.
Stinky Pete: 3 for each of us. Hurray!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): nope, they're magical fairy-hookers
Ezekial Ikwiano: I 'aint allowed to touch em pete
Xiu Li: No, I believe the plan is for the women to stay on the boat and sunbathe as a way to distract the guards.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): So four for each of us and Zeke can watch
Ezekial Ikwiano: I remember it differen't
Zach Dallas: Excellent. I would not be able to safely conceal that many
Xiu Li: So we will all be here, mostly undressed, sunbathing on the docks while you are fighting viciously for survival.
Xiu Li smiles.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I better stay behind and guard the ship
Ezekial Ikwiano: in case they try to board us or som'in
Xiu Li: Zeke, how noble of you - and no. If a fight starts the rest of them will need your l33t skillz.
Xiu Li: The girls and I will be quite fine, after all, we are harmless prostitutes.
Stinky Pete: Wait, you're a prostitute too?
Zach Dallas chokes
Zach Dallas clears his throat
Ezekial Ikwiano: You a long way from harmless Li
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Not denying the second part?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): classic Zeke
Ezekial Ikwiano: I don't know whose more dangerous, you or Mrs. Grey.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Not that they's anything wrong with that
Xiu Li eyes narrow.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I like a woman who can rip your heart out an' eat it
Xiu Li looks mildly annoyed at the mention of Cynthia Grey.
Ezekial Ikwiano: But I 'spose yous right
TADM: Okay, anyone have any shenigans they wish to peform, or can we "FF" to the arrival at the docks?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I'm all shenanigan'ed out after the cocaine fiasco.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): nope
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): wait, I do have one for Uriel
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I've just been sitting around RPing because I'm a hopeless nerd
Nick (Stinky Pete): Ludicrous speed, GO!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Negatory, skip that
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): just remembered what happened last time
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): not even going to chance it
Zach Dallas: Ugh, I hate Grey
Zach Dallas: I have expect her to be behind this. She's one of THOSE types of people
Ezekial Ikwiano: You just afraid of women Zach
Ezekial Ikwiano: You one a them "ho mo sexuals" I heard about?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Only some women. Especially those who I watched die in front of me and run into me later onEzekial Ikwiano: I woulda thought you of all people would be down with doin' dead girls
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
GM: Okay, before Masakari can jack up our plans for a quick two days...
It is now March 12, 1880.
Nick (Stinky Pete): brb warrior need food badly
Ezekial Ikwiano changes into his disguise.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): 2 days until Pi day!
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): and three until the ides of March
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Gaius would be concerned.
Zach Dallas grudgingly changes into his disguise
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Or should I say, be ware?
Nick (Stinky Pete): and three days until my father's b-day, followed by American Public Drunkenness day
Zach Dallas appears not only in full garb, but with both eyes as well
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 3]
The Sturgeon glides into the docks at the fortress of Dragon's Breath. The fortress is quite breathtaking. It loooks like a city of about 5000 people that rests on the top of a huge outcropping of rock that sits about 1000 feet above the level of the water. A sprawling collection of ironclads, sanpans, pirate vessels, frigates, junks, and almost every other conceivable ship is berthed at the ring-like dock that surrounds the pillar.
Nick (Stinky Pete): anyway, let's get this show started. Or else it'll be more than a 3 hour tour
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d6 = 4]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): you see nothing
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): er, you see an eye
Stinky Pete finds it rather interesting that we're using hook-ers for bait on a dock
Evidently, people disembark from their ship at the docks and take the narrow path up from the docks to the main gates. There are enough cannons, gatlings, and patrolling auto-gyros that even Zeke thinks they have a few too many guns.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): A good thing we didn't just storm the gates
Nick (Stinky Pete): Hopes that zeke doesn't want to play out in the rain...or rather the hail
Nick (Stinky Pete): The hail of gunfire, that is
From the smoke plumes overhead, Pete suspects they have gold, silver, and ghost rock processing stations running at maximum capacity. Ships laden with ore are escorted up to the docks by heavily armed pirate vessels.
Throughout all this, the flag of the Iron Dragon flies everywhere, a constant reminder that this is Kang's home.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 4]
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 10]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 1]
Captain Fong: The crew and I will make ready to cast off as soon as you return.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 4]
Uriel Iscariot Speak Langugage (Mandarin)
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d6+1 = 12]
GM: Uriel is suddenly fluent in Mandarin. I hope these people all don't speak Cantonese.
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Hey GURLZ, arent these robes just the latest in fashion OH they are ADORABLE!
Girls giggle at Uriel.
Xiu Li waves.
Xiu Li: Best of luck to you.
Xiu Li (whispers): And if you all die, I will see you in Iron Dynasty.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I'm glad that I'm oblivious to what Uriel is saying
Ezekial Ikwiano: Stormed at with shot and shell, bravely they rode into the jaws of death
Ezekial Ikwiano: Into the mouth of hell
GM: Okay, so now what?
Ezekial Ikwiano extinguishes his cigar on his forearm and pulls his hood up over his head.
Stinky Pete: Well, let's get this over with
Ezekial Ikwiano: Use your words preacha man
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 3]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 1]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 11]
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 6]
GM: Uriel notices that there are several hundred Iron Dragon Warriors lurking around. He hears several of them state, "If we ever find those bastards who sank the Abysmal, we are going to kill them slowly, over the course of five weeks. Good thing Kang passed around all those posters with their pictures and names on them."
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): do the guards have open helmets?
TADM: They are not wearing helmets.
[w] -> Ezekial Ikwiano: You just spotted Cynthia Grey entering the fortress. She kind of sticks out here.
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano -> Zach Dallas: Pst, zach, look over there
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano -> Zach Dallas: Cynthia Grey, up near the fortress
Pete notices that there are very lifelike looking mugshots of the four of you plastered all over the place.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): do I have both eyes or no?
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: what is the weather like today?
[w] -> Ezekial Ikwiano: Bright and sunny, very humid.
TADM: Yes.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Do i spot any buldings bearing religious marks or magic-like shoppes?
GM: Nothing obvious from the docks, inside the fortress there will probably be all sorts of things.
As part of the original plan, Xiu Li and her girls are starting to attract lots of attention by lying on the deck of the Sturgeon, sunbathing and rubbing lotion on each other.
Stinky Pete: do we really have to leave?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Is the front entrance going to be the one that will be distracted?
[w] -> Ezekial Ikwiano: If she noticed, there was no response. She just vanished inside the gate.
TADM: At this distance, probably not.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): any good side entrances?
Xiu Li: Zeke, does this two piece make my thighs look big?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 2]
Ezekial Ikwiano: A bit.
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 8]
Ezekial Ikwiano: They look good though
Stinky Pete: Certainly not.
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: scoping out the guards.
TADM: You see no convenient side entrances.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 6]
Xiu Li stretches out on a blanket and takes a nap.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): how does the entrance work? Open gate with people walking through it and the guards watching or an active 1:1 search?
Captain Fong: This is undoubtedly the best day of my life.
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: looking for any obvious keys or insignia on their belts/around their necks
Nick (Stinky Pete): muting for a bit. important call, but i'll still watch the screen
There is an open gate with some guards standing nearby, they look kind of bored and are not actively searching anyone.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): I has plan. :3
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Looking for a BIRD.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 4]
[w] -> Ezekial Ikwiano: You recognize lots of Iron Dragon symbols on people.
GM: Uriel spots a bird.
Uriel Iscariot: Animal Pal.
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d12+1 = 9]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nick (Stinky Pete): you mean future victim?
GM: Uriel has possessed a bird. It's lifespan is now measured in minutes.
Ezekial Ikwiano walks calmly toward the gate with his head down.
Zach Dallas: Don't draw attention to us. Use it to distract the guards as we walk through
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Okay birdy. See those swimsuits on those girls? Aim for the clasp on the back, and then take it off with you - they make cozy nests.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): whispered to Uriel of course
Uriel Iscariot: Don't Look.
Uriel Iscariot makes the sign of the cross
Zach Dallas: Wait, what are you doing?
Bird swoops down and removes the bottom of Xiu Li's swimsuit, since that is where the clasp was.
Xiu Li: Umm...
Captain Fong swoons.
Zach Dallas facepalms
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): FLY BIRD! FLYYYYYY!!! FLY FREEEEE!!!
Stinky Pete: Best. Day. EVER!!
Xiu Li drapes blanket over her bottom and goes back to sleep.
GM: The bird sails through the gate, then gets shot by a guard who really wants the underwear.
GM: Uriel: 5000. Defenseless Wildlife: 0.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): well, time to make our move, I guess...
Nick (Stinky Pete): LOL
Ezekial Ikwiano runs to the bird in the shuffling manner of an old man, and clutches the dead bird as if he cared deeply for it, before sullenly carrying it off deeper into the fortress.
GM: Do you leave the bottom of Xiu Li's swimsuit there?
Nick (Stinky Pete): unmuted
GM: A scuffle breaks out among five guards over who gets the underwear.
GM: Ezekial makes it inside the fortress without anyone sparing him a second glance.
Zach Dallas casually walks past them with his hood up
GM: Zach makes it just fine.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Ok ok.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Windstorm to make it FLY AGAIN! FLY FREEE!!!
Ezekial Ikwiano: Spirit [1d8 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d6+1 = 11]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Lift the Swim-Bird Mess Further up and away as to make them continue chase it
The guards chase after the flying underwear.
Stinky Pete: So um, let's get going?
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [Critical failure!] [1d10+2 = 3]
Ezekial Ikwiano conceals the dead bird in his robes for later.
Stinky Pete is using a benny
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 4]
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 8]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6-1 = 4]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 5]
Now that you are inside, you find that the top of the plateau is covered entirely by the city of Dragon's Breath. An urban sprawl spreads from the wall of the fortress. The inner fortress looms before you, looking like the Forbidden City has just been transplanted to the Great Maze. Another thick wall ringed with guards, cannons, gatlings, and patrolled by Chinese Ogres blocks your entrance. You spot the gate in the distance, and this one is heavily guarded by a number of martial artists who are doing a 1:1 pat-down search of every person who even looks at the gate. They also remove all hoods and robes from people who show any interest in entering the building. Kang's personal banner flies from the topmost pinnacle of a giant Chinese pagoda in the middle of the inner fortress.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I got nothin' zach, you?
GM: Street vendors offer almost anything you could hope for: guns, girls, drugs, gizmos, etc.
Stinky Pete: Let's check out that store
GM: Swarms of Kang Maze Pirates swirl around the area, seemingly paying you little mind as they spend money and celebrate their victories.
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Occult {+2 Honey Vial} [1d6+2 = 4]
Stinky Pete points at a store next to one that Grey is conveniently shopping at
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Among these merchants, what sort of occult vendor of the arcane could best get me a good disguise?
GM: Uriel is pretty convinced some old fashion makeup might work out pretty well.
Uriel Iscariot: Gambler-Demon boy. Lets go shoppin....
Zach Dallas sighs
Zach Dallas: Well, where to?
Zach Dallas: I can't speak local, so you have to ask for directions
[w] Stinky Pete -> Uriel Iscariot: Iscariot Um, I guess you missed my suggestion
Uriel Iscariot: Bring your lady friend too. (points subtly towards what Pete had pointed out)
Zach Dallas: I don't really want her to know that we're here as well, if possible
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Has Grey noticed us?
GM: Not that you can tell
GM: She just walked into a nearby shop.
Uriel Iscariot: I think she knows where her "honey-poo' or whatever sweet nothing she calls you by is,...but Ok then. Ill trust you...for now.
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: I'll follow her in
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 13]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): WHAT IS THAT SHOP!
Zach Dallas: Actually, I'm not cursed anymore, so she'd have just as easy a time tracking you
Nick (Stinky Pete): come on. he's obviously her right-hand man!
Nick (Stinky Pete): ZING!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): don't make me show you my right hand
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I don't even know if you'd survive
Nick (Stinky Pete): we should have zeke give grey zach's eye as a present :)
Uriel notices that Grey has just entered a building that is advertising, "Arabic Charms and Relics! Dark Magic at its finest!"
Nick (Stinky Pete): combination hookah and coffee maker! also makes julienne fries. Will not break *sprong*...It broke
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Aladin
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Any other stores I can perceive?
GM: Uriel notices a few other stores nearby that are selling mystic curios and "ghost protections."
GM: Notice checks
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 4]
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 10]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d6-1 = 3]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 4]
So what is the group doing, since standing out in the middle of the street staring at "magic vendors" will attract attention. In fact, Pete notices that the guards on the inner wall are starting to watch the group of you closely.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): To a vendor! Lets check out some MAGIC!
Uriel Iscariot: Who wants to goto a magic store, and get info from the vendor....You're paying right Zach Dallas?
Zach Dallas: Fine...
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Not that I want to
Nick (Stinky Pete): so, let's get moving already. the guards are getting antsy
Uriel Iscariot leads to the most sleazy looking magic store
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 9]
The group enters a sleazy looking magic shop, the proprietor grins widely at the prospect of customers and starts babbling around his awesome curative powers.
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 4]
Uriel Iscariot Speak Chinese.
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d12+1 = 11]
GM: Spirit check from Zeke, please.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Spirit [1d6 = 7]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility [1d6 = 11]
GM: Notice checks.
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 6]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d6-1 = 3]
[w] -> Zach Dallas: Straight
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 3]
Ezekial Ikwiano is using a benny
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 10]
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 13]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility [1d12 = 17]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): GODLIKE!
Uriel notices that everything in this shop is junk. Uriel and Pete watch Cynthia Grey walk out of the shop she was in, holding a small black medallion and smiling widely. All three of you notice that Ezekial is no longer in your presence.
Uriel Iscariot: Well thats no good...no good at all.
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Occult {+2 Honey Vial} [1d6+2 = 4]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): What is that medallion!?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 15]
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 2]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 17]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): loading alternate dice distribution....
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): this will be a hilarious outlier compared to our ordinary games
Zach Dallas is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 11]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility [1d12 = 13]
Zach Dallas: Dammit, Grey's shielding him
Uriel Iscariot: Common Zach....We have better things to do.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 10]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): common zach?
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Yes, ye common zach.
Uriel Iscariot: If we want the very best in disguise, let us find only the most foul perveyors of depravity and vanity.....
Uriel Iscariot: for they shall know how best to make us look entirely different
GM: Okay, so what is the rest of the group doing while Zeke is off experiencing existential behavior?
Uriel Iscariot: to the whore house! Surely they have to use magic to make those ugly women attractive!
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 2]
Stinky Pete: best idea i've heard all day
Ezekial Ikwiano: Agility [1d12 = 8]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 2]
Ezekial Ikwiano is using a benny
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 2]
GM: OKAY - The group has 1 hour to do things while Fen gets to sit around.
GM: Do you all head to the whorehouse?
Zach Dallas: Why are we going to the whorehouse?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): to look for Zeke
Uriel Iscariot: To obtain their magics!
Stinky Pete: Do we need a reason?
Zach Dallas: What are you talking about?
Uriel Iscariot: If we want the very best in disguise, let us find only the most foul perveyors of depravity and vanity.....
Zach Dallas: Uh
Stinky Pete: I didn't know you considered diseases magic
Uriel Iscariot: In short, If WE want to fool someone
Zach Dallas: That's flawed logic
Uriel Iscariot: We need to be able to FOOL the same way they fool PAYING CUSTOMERS for a LOVING...er living.
Zach Dallas: No. You NEVER need to fool anyone like that, uriel
Uriel Iscariot: Persuasion [1d8 = 2]
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d6 = 5]
Stinky Pete: Unskilled {--2 Unskilled} [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6-2 = 0]
GM: Stinky smells a brothel/tavern that seems to have AMAZING Sake.
Zach Dallas: Common Knowledge [1d12 = 22]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 1]
Nick (Stinky Pete): If this is how things are, I'm going to the boat. At least their antics have a purpose, a point if you will
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): ignore that second roll
Nick (Stinky Pete): many points, probably.
TADM: Two per girl in all likelihood.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Based off everyone else in the area, are there any good improvements for our disguises?
Nick (Stinky Pete): only 2? that's kinda sad. i'd figure they could handle 5 each
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): dvda?
Uriel Iscariot: Zach
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Yo
Zach Dallas: Yo
Uriel Iscariot: Think about it. They are LOOKING for people they dont want in the area, who seem suspicious
Zach Dallas: Yes
Zach Dallas: Men dressed as women are suspicious
Uriel Iscariot: they are going to LOOK into the shadows, for the out of place
Uriel Iscariot: but they wont know!
GM: Well, if you could figure out some way to look Chinese, that would help a lot. You suspect that there might be something in the magic shop Grey was just shopping in. Also, you just realized that the thing she bought looks a great deal like the Amulet of Rashimir.
Uriel Iscariot: These women are flat as washboards! if they can make THAT into BOOOOTY, then itll be EASY for us!
Nick (Stinky Pete): starts writing a want ad. wanted: party who can get things done. able to not go for TPK during each quest.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): shiiiiiiit
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Hey, I got lots done
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): literally and figuratively
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): and the only person I put at risk of being horribly murdered was myself
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): And Zach
TADM: Hey, I can guarantee there will be no TPK tonight - Zeke is in a position where he cannot be killed.
Uriel Iscariot: AIght then Demon-boi. Lead the way to where YOU think will do us well.
Zach Dallas: Well, let's check this shop here. See if there's anything that will help us disguise ourselves as Asian
Zach Dallas: points to the shop that everyone was in
The continuous stream of English from the group of people dressed as women is starting attract lots of attention from Maze Pirates looking for a good time.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 5]
GM: The group has about 45 minutes until Zeke rejoins them.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): would this change at all if we were using hushed tones?
TADM: It would probably help a lot.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I was assuming Zach at least was being all hushed-like
You enter the magic shop Zach suggested, it is filled with lots of oil lamps, amulets, and Arabic paraphenalia. Uriel feels unsettled being in this building, like he just stepped a lot closer to Hell.
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): Hello, can I help you?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I gotta go take a leak, brb
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Why hello good sir. I am curious, could you tell me more about your collection of fine wares?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): back
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): Absolutely, they have just been imported from the Sultanate of Jafar, a powerful wizard who recently took control of a kingdom. Evidently the souls of all his victims are bound into these items. They grant powers based on the previous person - for instance, this one was the princess, and the possessor is given great charisma while holding it.
Nick (Stinky Pete): The Easter Eggs are strong with this one.
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): This one belonged to a Genie, and evidently you will gain the ability to tell halfway decent jokes on a regular basis while carrying it.
Stinky Pete: (whispers to uriel) ask how much for the genie one
Zach Dallas: (whispers to Pete) you can't understand him
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): I see. Most intriguing. Certainly, objects of such power and majesty do not come cheap....
Zach Dallas: What's he saying, Uriel?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): in a hushed tone
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): Nonsense, today we have special, only $100 worth of Ghost Rock each.
Nick (Stinky Pete): great jokes transcend language. it is calling out to me
Uriel Iscariot (English.): Okay, which one of you has GHOST ROCK that you are willing to part with? ill consider your tithe paid if you should become a platinum 100$ donar today!
Zach Dallas: What is he offering?
Uriel Iscariot flashes an evil smile
Uriel Iscariot: Power beyond power!
Uriel Iscariot: The key to everything we need!
Zach Dallas: you mean from those unenchanted baubles?
Uriel Iscariot: Well, he is offering those things, I never said thats what he actuall has. =|
Uriel Iscariot: Seriously demn boy? nothin on yer radar?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): anything on my radar?
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 11]
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): how about your gaydar?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): nah, you're not around
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): actually, Uriel...
Ezekial Ikwiano: yeah, I am neither ho, nor mo, nor sexual
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): yeah, I am neither ho, nor mo, nor sexual
Zach Dallas: Hm
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): well, nevermind. I mistakenly thought we wen tto the same place as before
GM: It is now 35 minutes until Zeke shows up. Then the TPK can commence.
Uriel Iscariot: Nothing Demon Boi?
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Well good Sir, May I put one of these objects to the test?
Zach Dallas: Actually, scratch that.
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): Absolutely.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 3]
Zach Dallas: This place is dizzyingly full of Jokers
Zach Dallas: Common Knowledge [1d12 = 7]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): want to avoid poorly translated words
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Attempted to find an oddly yet elaborately gemmed scepter with sytlized snake heads.
GM: Uriel finds THE WHOLEY GRAIL!
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): is it GOLD and SHINY? with GEMS?
GM: Yes.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Don't you mean the Holey FAIL!?!
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Grabs the cup
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): oh, great
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): more faith doubting
Uriel Iscariot: Truly this is the cup of the king of kings.
Old Knight: He choose....poorly.
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Shopkeeper, how much for this?
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): $100 in Ghost Rock
Zach Dallas: Wouldn't Jesus have had a plain cup? Instead of a gold and gem encrusted one?
Zach Dallas: also, would the Holy Grail have an evil spirit inside of it
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): ??
Uriel Iscariot: Okay, Pete, can I get 100 in devil rock on loan?
Uriel Iscariot: No this way we are good Zach. See, its not EVIL. Its a HOLY spell on it, to kill evil folk who cant see through a simple fact.
Zach Dallas: No, it isn't
Uriel Iscariot: Now, if i'd used something that WAS cast by an evil person...
Zach Dallas: That has a manitou. I can see it
Uriel can even point to the words, "Wholey Grail" if he wants to.
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Okay, let me see. I will need to see if this vessel can hold water first. It is is not a 100$ goblet indeed if it has flaws yet unseen.
Zach Dallas: NO
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d12+1 = 5]
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 7]
Shop Clerk hands you a flask with water in it.
Zach Dallas: No, absolutely not
GM: It is now 25 minutes until Zeke shows up.
Shop Clerk ducks for cover as soon as Uriel moves the flask near the cup.
Zach Dallas: Uriel, check to see if he has anything that may help disguise us or something
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 15]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Even though I'm not with you, I might hear the explosion
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Even though I'm not with you, I might hear the explosion
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Occult {+2 Honey Vial} [1d6+2 = 12]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Anything about this cup?
Uriel is quite convinced not only is this cup NOT the Holy Grail, he is also quite convinced that this "Grail" will cause some sort of eruption of pure evil when activated.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Okay well since the shop keep is behind the counter....
Zach Dallas: WHY would you give him water?
Zach Dallas: You are out of your mind
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Double Action - Light to blind, Windstorm for effect, then RUN OUT OF THE SHOP. 5 finger DISCOUNT
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Good Sir, I am beginning to doubt the claims presented to me by your good sir knight.
Shop Clerk looks up from behind counter.
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Do you have any magics of illusion?
Suddenly, a catchy John Williams tune starts playing in the background, and an image of a man with a whip and a fedora appears, then disappears.
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): Oh yes, the jar of paste over there, also $100.
Shop Clerk points to a jar while shielding most of his body behind the counter.
Uriel Iscariot: Okay Stinky... The Tithe Calls. We need some Rock.
Stinky Pete: What rock?
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Okay, could you describe it more fully?
Ezekial Ikwiano: crack
Uriel Iscariot: Ghost Rock, ye prospector.
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): Yes, you rub it on your skin, think of the person you wish to look like, and you will turn into that person.
GM: It is 20 minutes until Zeke shows up.
Stinky Pete: uriel, if you lose this, i'll kill you.
Stinky Pete hands Uriel one of my gems
[w] -> Zach Dallas: Actually, no, it is one of the few things that does not.
Zach Dallas: This doesn't have a Joker in it
Shop Clerk eyes widen at sight of shiny gem.
Nick (Stinky Pete): That should be more than enough
Zach Dallas: Common Knowledge [1d12 = 10]
Uriel Iscariot: That seems silly. Why would you tell me if i loose this Youll kill me when we are trying to purchase something?
Zach Dallas: Pete, I can reimburse you a bit for this if you want
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): Ah..that sound lovely! Could you tell more about the history of such a fantasic item?
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): It evidently some paste that is made in Sultanate of Jafar. I only know what is on directions.
Uriel Iscariot: Aight then. Zach Find another toy in here.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Why do the directions say "Made in China"? In English?
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): Okay...so you want something else?
Uriel Iscariot looks aroind and looks for an object that doesnt give him the unholly willies.
Zach Dallas: Hey, how about that game of Whist?
Nick (Stinky Pete): rolling for detect Loot
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d6+2 = 11]
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): That is $100, like everything else.
Zach Dallas: Let's get that.
Zach Dallas: (don't use it until we can study it, though)
Uriel Iscariot: You dont want that
Zach Dallas: Oh, yes I do
Uriel Iscariot: Okay...but Im not touching it.
Zach Dallas: I got it
Zach Dallas picks up the Whist deck
Uriel Iscariot: Okay then.
GM: With which hands?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): left
GM: Okay.
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin.): Good Shoppkeep, we are all...people of the world. Surely this gem would cover the cost of two such items, and surely be appraised at 200$ worth of ghost rock.
Shop Clerk (Mandarin): DEAL!
Uriel Iscariot (Mandarin): May we have the Deck and the Jar for this Gem?
Shop Clerk takes shiny gem.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): definately gem, definately gem
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): pocket the deck, pocket the deck
Ezekial Ikwiano (quietly): Hey there fellas
Ezekial Ikwiano (quietly): we should probably be leaving now
Uriel Iscariot: Okay. So technically Stinky, you have Zach giving you 100$ for his half, and you get this jar - you decide who gets to use it
Uriel Iscariot: Why hey Ezekial Ikwiano
Nick (Stinky Pete): Doesn't the bible say "thou shalt not steal", not "thou shalt not get a steal", right?
Uriel Iscariot: sup?
Ezekial Ikwiano (quietly): hoof it for the docks
Uriel Iscariot: WHAT HAPPEN!?
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: do they notice that I am invisible?
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: or are they just that daft
Zach Dallas: Let's go, then. Extra wins for us
Nick (Stinky Pete): Um, okay...mission accomplished, i think. since, you know, Zeke's the only one trying to move the story along here
GM: It is about this point when Zach, Stinky, and Uriel realize that....they can hear Zeke but cannot see him.
Ezekial Ikwiano (quietly): c'mon ladies, time's a wastin' get a move on
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 4]
TADM: Guys - Zeke is TRYING TO BE SUBTLE - don't blow it!
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 8]
Uriel Iscariot: lead the way zach.
Zach Dallas: let's go
The group makes it down to the docks without further incident.
Uriel Iscariot: Wait....if what Zeke is saying is true, then its best we all dont get caught. they will be looking for a specfic number of....
Stinky Pete: so did we get the baubles or not? because if not, i'd like my gem plz
Zach Dallas: yes
Zach Dallas: we did
Ezekial Ikwiano: Strength [1d12 = 22]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Hurries along with the group.
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 2]
The group gets back to the boat. Zach steps on the boat and suddenly finds his hand coming into contact with a very firm ass...seemingly someone pushed his hand into Peaches' ass and it hits her with a resounding "SPANK!" Peaches takes this as an invitation to grapple Zach and remove his clothing for "exercising."
Peaches: Fighting [1d8 = 7]
Peaches: Agility [1d10 = 9]
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 4]
Zach Dallas: Fighting [1d6 = 4]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Captain, I think we best set sail for Shan Fan
GM: Zach is grappled and now shirtless.
Zach Dallas: NOT WITH THE DECK THERE!
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 3]
Captain Fong shouts "Cast Off" and the Sturgeon chugs backwards and heads back into the channel.
Stinky Pete: for pursuers
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d6+2 = 13]
Zach Dallas: Please stop, this not the time
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 19]
GM: Pete does not think anyone is pursuing the boat. He is also quite certain that Peaches will win this "wrestling" match.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Ludicrous rolling, GO!
GM: Peaches looks upset, but stops tearing off Zach's clothes.
Ezekial Ikwiano: we got a three day trip back to Shan Fan
Ezekial Ikwiano: you got plenty of time
Ezekial Ikwiano: Unskilled {--2 Unskilled} [1d4-2 = 1]
Stinky Pete: Unskilled {--2 Unskilled} [Critical failure!] [1d4-2 = -1]
Uriel Iscariot (mandarin): That means he really needs this badly! If hes resisting that means its stronger!
Stinky Pete: (to Xiu Li) How did things go here?
Zach Dallas very carefully picks his clothes up and puts them back on
Xiu Li: Quiet and peaceful, it was a nice day.
Xiu Li: How did your day go?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Zach, if you aint gonna get down and dirty, get over here and give me that hand of yours
Zach Dallas: Zeke vanished and Grey was on the island
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 2]
Ezekial Ikwiano: I been invisible long enough
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 2]
Zach Dallas is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 3]
Nick (Stinky Pete): nom nom
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 8]
Stinky Pete: Well, that seemed...unproductive
GM: Zeke becomes visible.
Ezekial Ikwiano speaks in vent to save time and typing
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Aw, dammit. I think Grey is on the ship
TADM: :)
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 3]
Uriel Iscariot: I'll PLAY!
Zach Dallas: Uh, no thanks
Uriel Iscariot: Say Zachy
Zach Dallas: I can predict even less
Uriel Iscariot: How 'dem cards different than yer demon cards?
Zach Dallas: They're Hoyle's
Uriel Iscariot: So you admit you have demon cards then?
Zach Dallas: Common Knowledge [1d12 = 4]
Zach Dallas: Two at the moment.
Uriel Iscariot: Well, ill let peaches know what you need to leave this boat without. ....Demons...tsk tsk
Campaign saved.