Chat log started at 3.4.2011 / 18:18:56

Savage Worlds Ruleset for Fantasy Grounds II
(c) 2009 Pinnacle Entertainment Group.
Captain Smythe: I say chaps, capital good show, you saved Dillenger and I from that horde of philistines.
Xiu Li groans and mutters, "But I don't want to go to school today."
Dillenger reloads.
Stinky Pete: We probably should get out of here. Wok this way.
Ezekial Ikwiano helps Xiu Li stand up.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): wok?
Zach Dallas: Actually, I don't suppose you guys have anything important in here?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Or any .40 caliber bullets?
Captain Smythe: No .40 caliber bullets, but if you have the key we can get inside the vault finally.
Uriel Iscariot: What's in there?
Dillenger: Looks like the battle of Heavenly Park is coming to a close.
Zach Dallas: We should hurry up
Dillenger points at Heavenly Park in the distance, where Kwan's forces are starting to get their asses kicked.
Zach Dallas: and what did you mean by "have the key"?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Most folks wait till battles is over before they name em.
Ezekial Ikwiano: the ommelette
Captain Smythe: The key, that was in Tam's possession, that I hope you were able to get from him...
Captain Smythe looks concerned that Zach might have been toying with demons (again.)
Zach Dallas: Oh, right
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): We should definitely have given that to them before we went on that suicide mission
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): that was pretty stupid of us
Xiu Li spits up some golden-yellow phlegm.
Zach Dallas: Woah, are you OK?
Xiu Li: I need to sit down...
Xiu Li drops on her ass.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 7]
Zach Dallas: Gospel sharp, see if you can fix her up a bit
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): What's up with her? I thought I cured her?
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 10]
GM: There are probably a few different magical effects on her that are all wearing off/kicking in/not cooperating at the same time.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Why don't we continue this chat inside the vault
Captain Smythe: That is probably one of the best ideas I think Zeke has ever had.
Uriel Iscariot: Ye all got some buddha and anti-kung fuu stuff going on in there! A big dose of JESUS will cure all that pagan shit!
Stinky Pete: Yes, it'll be much safe-r in there.
Captain Smythe heads over to the bathtub that is sitting in the debris.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Succour
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 2 Power -4) [1d6-1 = 7]
Xiu Li looks better.
Zach Dallas hands over the key to Smythe
Captain Smythe fills the tub half full of water...because the faucets evidently still work even though the rest of the lodge was burned to the ground. Then he sticks his hand (with the key) into the tub and unlocks the drain.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Uh oh. He's typing a novel of backstory. Run away!!
There is a shudder and the ground beneath the bathtub opens up, revealing a staircase leading down.
Uriel Iscariot: Hrm, Clever.
Zach Dallas: what
Zach Dallas: the hell
Uriel Iscariot: Let not his favoured be without light!
[w] -> Zach Dallas: Nothing until you look down into the staircase at the door at the bottom of the vault.
Ezekial Ikwiano Down the drain boys..
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d12+1 = 9]
Stinky Pete: Hmm if the bathtub gets backed up, do they call a plumber or a locksmith?
Zach Dallas: I'll admit, that is a most unique hiding spot
Dillenger: Both
Uriel Iscariot: Light to guide us, light to extinguish his enemies!
Zach Dallas whistles
Captain Smythe heads down the staircase and up to the vault door.
Stinky Pete: Does he plumb the depths in hopes of unlocking the truth?
Ezekial Ikwiano follows smythe
Zach Dallas: That door's pretty stacked...
A spectral image of Isabella DeMerini appears before the door.
Zach Dallas: Oh, hello
Uriel Iscariot: Kn Occult {+2 Honey Vial} [1d6+2 = 9]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey baby, you got a body somewhere?
Zach Dallas: It's in hell at the moment
Ezekial Ikwiano: I like bad girls
Isabella DeMerini: What hangs above the hearth?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): haven?
Captain Smythe: A jackalope head.
Isabella DeMerini vanishes.
The door opens.
Zach Dallas laughs
Uriel Iscariot: That was too easy.
Zach Dallas rolls his eye
Zach Dallas: Because that was the first response you thought of..
Captain Smythe: It's not really intended to stop people from entering, just a final check to see if the person is a member.
Ezekial Ikwiano: If we was members, how come we wasn't told the answer?
Dillenger: Into the vault chaps, looks like some of Kang's goons are headed this way.
Captain Smythe: Probably because it made no difference without possession of the key.
Zach Dallas: Yessir
Xiu Li enters the vault.
Captain Smythe enters the vault.
Zach Dallas: Are we closing the doors on them?
Dillenger enters the vault.
Zach Dallas points at the tub
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 11]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Collapse the tunnel behind us Zach
Captain Smythe: It all seals up once we close the inner door.
Zach Dallas: Excellent
Stinky Pete enters the vault for safe-keeping
Zach Dallas enters the vault
Ezekial Ikwiano enters the vault last.
Uriel Iscariot all in
You enter the "vault." It is a pretty large subterranean chamber that is significantly nicer than any other room any of you have ever been in. The ceiling is about 12' high, the room is about 30' in diameter, numerous side chambers sit off the main room. A large collection of overstuffed chairs and couches line the place. There is a large fireplace in the middle, as soon as Smythe enters he snaps his fingers and it blazes to life. The walls have shelves that are lined with books and other curios. The floor is plush carpeting, and everything has the look of being well maintained, and very expensive.
Ezekial Ikwiano lights a cigar in the fireplace.
Dillenger: Nice that we can finally get back in the room, losing the stupid key...grr.
Stinky Pete: Appraisal check!
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d6+2 = 13]
Stinky Pete: Smarts [1d10 = 19]
Xiu Li lies down on a couch and decides to take a nap.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): doing the same
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 8]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 3]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d6-1 = 4]
Zach Dallas: Smarts [1d6 = 5]
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 15]
TADM: Okay.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Also, if I happen to find any bullets in the vault that would be nice too.
In 1880 currency, you would put this place at about 1 million dollars.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Must...resist...Looting!
Stinky Pete: Vigor [1d8-2 = 1]
Stinky Pete is using a benny
Stinky Pete: Vigor [1d8-2 = 9]
Ezekial Ikwiano: So Rod, you got any food or anything down here?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Or an escape tunnel out of the city?
Captain Smythe: Sure, what do you want?
Stinky Pete: Spirit (Wound Penalty -1, -4) [Critical failure!] [1d12-5 = -4]
Captain Smythe: And that also.
Stinky Pete is using a benny
Stinky Pete: Spirit [1d12-5 = -1]
Stinky Pete is using a benny
Stinky Pete: Spirit [1d12-5 = -1]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): ROFLROFLROFL
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): while I can, at least
Ezekial Ikwiano: Cause we aint popular in these parts, so we may have a hard time findin' a safe place to lay low
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): nom
Stinky Pete: Spirit [1d12-5 = -2]
Zach Dallas looks very uncomfortable
Ezekial Ikwiano: And we ain't stayin in Shan Fan
Stinky Pete drops to the ground and starts flopping around like a fish out of water.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Pete, you OK?
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 8]
Stinky Pete: Magikarp. Karp.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): ROFLROFL
Zach ignites.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): AHAHAHAHAHAH
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): aw shit
Well...at least, his eye patch and the sleeve on his jacket.
Zach Dallas: AHHHHHHHHHH
Zach Dallas throws the eye patch to the ground
Ezekial Ikwiano takes off his jacket and tries to beat out the flames.
Dillenger: Well, that answers a couple questions, eh Smythe?
Zach Dallas: FRONT POCKET! WATCH OUT FOR THE FRONT POCKET!
Captain Smythe: That it does.
Ezekial Ikwiano: What in tarnation is goin' on here?
Captain Smythe whistles an odd tune.
Uriel Iscariot: ....What, that TWO people here are infested with demons?
Zach Dallas stops waving and looks at Uriel
Zach Dallas: I am not infested
Pete recovers. and the flames on Zach's clothes fade out.
Ezekial Ikwiano: If anyone is infested with demons it's me. I let Mrs. Grey touch me in a non-sexual way.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): did the eyepatch survive?
GM: Yes
Zach Dallas: Smarts [1d12 = 8]
Captain Smythe: So Zeke, what did you want for food?
Uriel Iscariot: So is that more sinful than a normal touch from a lady to you, or less?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Steak if you got it
Captain Smythe: No problem...Dillenger.
Dillenger grumbles.
Dillenger: Fine, back in a few.
Dillenger heads into a side room.
Ezekial Ikwiano follows Dillenger.
Captain Smythe: Sit down, make yourselves comfortable....and DON'T LEAVE THE ROOM.
Dillenger stops.
Uriel Iscariot: ugh
Dillenger looks at Zeke.
Dillenger: He meant you.
Ezekial Ikwiano: right
Zach Dallas puts his eyepatch back on
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): is it burnt?
TADM: Yes.
Dillenger leaves the room again.
Uriel Iscariot: Patience is a virtue.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): more importantly: is the diamond intact?
TADM: No.
About a minute later, you hear what sounds like twenty chefs frenetically working on food in a nearby room. Dillenger continues to loudly grumble while Smythe retrieves a pipe from the wall, taps some tobacco into it, and lights it.
Captain Smythe: Well chaps, we've made it this far and we are back in the lodge thanks to you. I think this is a fine time for you chaps to have a good rest for a day or so.
Ezekial Ikwiano: It don't fright you that two armies is fighting upstairs?
Zach Dallas: Mr. Fish and my clothes won't have...side effects anymore, will they?
Uriel Iscariot: Idle hands are the devils'. Should we really sit down amongst all the carnage around us?
Captain Smythe: No you will not, Mr. Dallas.
Zach Dallas nods
Captain Smythe: The battle upstairs, I suspect, is at an end.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Least till Kang and Grey decide they gonna have it out
Captain Smythe: And should you wish to leave, I have no intention of stopping you, after all, you chaps have done quite the favor for us.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Powerful friends make fast enemies
GM: Okay, if anyone wants to go looking through the room, let me know if there is something specific you are looking for.
Ezekial Ikwiano: By the way, while we're here, you figure out how to destroy the omelette yet?
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Lost books of the Bible/Manuscripts from 300BC - 500AD
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 3]
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): so you can destroy them?
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 10]
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): For not being Orthoprax?
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 9]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Yes - Thou shalt not suffer a heretic or learned person to live!
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 8]
GM: So the question is, can Uriel read Aramaic or Latin?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): I can read latin.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): IRL that is, not Zeke
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d12+1 = 4]
Uriel Iscariot: SCORE!
TADM: So can I, but that does not help Uriel..in fact, it probably hinders him.
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): (Speak Language for Aramaic plz.)
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [1d6 = 2]
Uriel Iscariot: Goody Gumbdrops! I better make a rubbing of this and save it for later.
Zach Dallas: What is it?
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Makes a rubbing with some paper etc.
Zach Dallas: can I see?
Zach Dallas: lemme see?
TADM: And then Zach lost his other arm...
Ezekial Ikwiano: Speaking of rubbing, any these books got naked ladies in em?
Captain Smythe: 'Fraid not.
Uriel Iscariot: No. I...think one part Zach and one part Holy is a recipie for new dice penalties
Stinky Pete: Or for bigger old penalties
Dillenger wheels out a cart laden with steak, potatoes, veggies, and a number of other dishes.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Thanks Dillenger, where'd you get all this from?
Ezekial Ikwiano eats steak and potatoes.
Zach Dallas: Well, that one was carved by DeMerini
Dillenger: The kitchen.
Dillenger leaves.
Stinky Pete: Thank you Dillenger. Despite the task, you still do good work
Zach Dallas points at [that thing Tack was looking at]
TADM: I just remembered something.
Zach Dallas: How did you keep fresh food in here for the month or so that you weren't able to get in?
Zeke does find a book with pictures of naked women in it, there is a book about biology and medicine here, it has plenty of pictures in it.
Ezekial Ikwiano: They had a ghost guarding the door, and the thing that you can't wrap your head around is fresh food?
Captain Smythe: Sometimes it is best not to ask.
Ezekial Ikwiano finishes eating and plays doctor.
Xiu Li makes cute, faint snoring noises.
Zach Dallas: I notice you have quite the library of a single book over there
Zach Dallas: learn anything useful out of them?
TADM: Okay, so this is your chance to (a) ask Smythe anything you want (b) look for clues and tidbits of information (c) engage in whatever RP you feel amused by. Let me know when everybody is ready to FFW to the next part of the plot.
Zach Dallas points at the collection of Hoyle's Books of Games in the corner
Captain Smythe: Ah, Miss DeMerini is a collector of Hoyle's books.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Smythe, you know a guy called "Joshua Norton"?
Zach Dallas: Mind if I take a look?
Captain Smythe: Feel free.
Captain Smythe looks at Zeke.
Uriel Iscariot: Captain. Grey has the Amulet of Rashimir. What should we do>
Zach Dallas walks over and begins flipping through the books, browsing them
Captain Smythe: I've heard the name, he is some patsy who works for Warlord Kwan. Evidently the man has a good mind for administration and Kwan is using him for a figurehead.
Captain Smythe looks confused at Uriel's statement.
Zach Dallas: He looks like you, I hear
Ezekial Ikwiano: yeah, spittin' image
Captain Smythe pulls Amulet of Rashimir out of a small chest by the fireplace.
Captain Smythe: I do not think Miss Grey has this.
Uriel Iscariot: Really? Hrm.
Captain Smythe nods.
Zach Dallas: Ever think there was more than one?
Captain Smythe: Ah yes, I believe I have heard that also, about my resemblance to Joshua Norton.
Captain Smythe frowns at Zach's suggestion.
Captain Smythe: I should hope not, one Amulet of pure evil is plenty for this world.
Zach Dallas: There was a whole shop of those types of things
Zach Dallas puts a book back on the shelf and flips out the next one
Zach Dallas frowns
Zach Dallas: Mind if I reorder these?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 11]
Captain Smythe: Fine with me...and that shop, well, there are all sorts of shops selling hokum and gibberish.
Uriel Iscariot: Blasted merchants polluting our fine civilization here...
Zach Dallas: They were ALL like that whist deck I gave you. Maybe worse, don't know
Zach Dallas: we stopped Uriel from using them
Zach Dallas pauses
Zach Dallas: come to think of it, they're probably not that bad, since the amulet doesn't run off Jokers
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): is there a spare table?
TADM: Yes.
Zach Dallas pulls out a handful of books from the shelves
Zach Dallas: Uriel, do you have paper I can borrow?
Uriel Iscariot: Sure do.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Hey Uriel, I learned something cool in this book I was readin. Cause I am smart.
Ezekial Ikwiano puts the book back on the shelf.
Uriel Iscariot: Say 10 Hail Marys and the paper is yours.
Ezekial Ikwiano: What did you learn in your book?
Uriel Iscariot: Hey let me look at that book.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I can show you what I done learned, save you the trouble of readin through it all
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 10]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Ezekial Ikwiano's Book
Zach Dallas: Sure thing
Uriel Iscariot: Okay......
Uriel Iscariot: Show me.
Zach Dallas: Common Knowledge [1d12 = 5]
Zach Dallas mutters the hail mary
Stinky Pete: eats while ignoring them
Ezekial Ikwiano swiftly disables Uriel without harming him with the aid of his new anatomical knowledge.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Fighting [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 4]
Uriel Iscariot: Ezekial Ikwiano! Touching a man like that is WRONG.
The book is labeled, "A comprehensive guide to anatomy and methods of disabling patients without causing permanent injury, by Merit Ptah."
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): lol
Uriel Iscariot: like more WRONG than the way you eye every woman you ever see!
Stinky Pete: Isn't it by O. E. Mybac?
Ezekial Ikwiano: I guess I missed somethin in my book
Uriel Iscariot: I am dissapointed. I knew you were a alot of sins, but no THAT ONE. Now as pennance you must.....Read a REAL BOOK.
Ezekial Ikwiano: It didn't work like it was sposed to.
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} [1d6+3 = 14]
Stinky Pete: Vigor [1d8 = 6]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Spirit [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 3]
Uriel Iscariot: Throws down a bible.
Uriel Iscariot: Start at Genesis. Get going.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Yes sir preacha man
Ezekial Ikwiano starts reading the bible.
Uriel Iscariot: Wow look at all the good Im doing this group of lost sheep.
Zach Dallas: Done with the Hail Marys. Maries?
Uriel Iscariot: feels smug
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [1d6 = 7]
Uriel Iscariot: Have your paper.
Zach Dallas: thanks
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I should explain to Zeke what the bible means!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): with my Persuade dice!
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): I would, but I'm busy
Stinky Pete: Mmm sure was good food.
Zach Dallas: Hm
Zach Dallas frowns
Stinky Pete wanders through the room, looking for a plothook like a dum bass
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d6+2 = 7]
Uriel Iscariot: Thou shalt have 3 pages.
Zach Dallas: Sir Smythe, do you have any notebooks?
Captain Smythe: That don't already have lots of notes in them, no.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): what?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): is he drunk?
Uriel Iscariot: checks on Xi
Captain Smythe: Well, I assume you want an empty notebook, and there are none of those here.
Zach Dallas: Aw, curses
Uriel Iscariot: Xiu
Zach Dallas: Oh, well, three pages are better than none.
Zach Dallas heads back over to the table
Stinky Pete: Smarts [1d10 = 12]
GM: Xiu Li seems to be sleeping comfortably.
Zach Dallas pulls out an older, worn copy
Zach Dallas puts his hat on the side of the table and skips straight to the end of the first book. He reads through it and puts it over to the side. He continues like this, forming two piles of books
Zach Dallas returns one pile to the shelves and pulls out the next few
Uriel Iscariot: What are you doing?
Ezekial Ikwiano: All done.
Zach Dallas: Reading
Ezekial Ikwiano gives the bible back to Uriel
Uriel Iscariot: .....really Ezekial Ikwiano? Okay, tell me one thing you learned from it then.
Ezekial Ikwiano: The bible aint got any pictures in it
Stinky Pete: Interesting
Zach Dallas glances at Pete
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 2]
Uriel Iscariot: I see. Well....that sort of....yeah.....derp.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I know, who writes a book with no pictures?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Surprised you never noticed that before
TADM: AH HA!
Zach Dallas has been awarded a benny
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 5]
TADM: DING!
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Looking at Stinky Pete. Is he ok?
Zach Dallas: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
TADM: Notice check from Kazemi.
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6-1 = 1]
Zach Dallas is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 4]
GM: Pete appears to be intently staring at a map in a glass case. Captain Smythe is smoking from his pipe on a couch. Zach appears to have just suffered a "EUREKA" moment.
Captain Smythe: Oh, that map, not sure who it was drawn by, Isabella gave it to me.
TADM: Zach Dallas would like a Library Card from the Explorer's Society.
Zach Dallas: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Xiu Li wakes up and looks at Zach.
Zach Dallas: Oh, if I can surpass her in one bound! The look on her face!
Xiu Li: Are you all right? I am not sure if you are having a revelation or a nervous breakdown.
Stinky Pete: No, just a nervous revelation
Captain Smythe: Perhaps both?
Zach Dallas: Revalation. The breakdown will come next week when my body forces me to sleep
Zach Dallas: I don't suppose I could borrow this book?
Captain Smythe: Sure, just return it when done.
Ezekial Ikwiano: I read a book too. I didn't start hootin' and hollerin' though
Zach Dallas: That I will!
Xiu Li: Zeke learned how to read? How long have I been asleep?
Zach Dallas: It was a picture book
Xiu Li: Oh good.
Zach Dallas: He apparently learned pressure points
Zach Dallas: You missed him dropping the gospel sharp
Xiu Li: Captain Smythe, I need to powder my nose...
Captain Smythe: That door.
Captain Smythe points.
Zach Dallas glances up
Xiu Li heads out the door Smythe indicated.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): after she leaves
Zach Dallas: Ah, I see. A sexist, are you?
Captain Smythe: Hmm?
Zach Dallas smirks
Zach Dallas: I see what you did there, letting the lady leave whilst keeping us all here. Next you're going to go have to check on the next round of food, right?
Zach Dallas laughs
Captain Smythe: I believe you have me mistaken for Zeke.
Captain Smythe looks offended.
Zach Dallas: More seriously, is there any particular reason you were so anxious to keep us all in here? Are there traps in the other hallways?
Captain Smythe: Yes.
Zach Dallas: I trust you didn't lead Xiu Li to her death
Captain Smythe: We like to keep this place secure.
Zach Dallas: that would be bad
Ezekial Ikwiano: Yeah, cause then I'd kill you
Zach Dallas: Coppering your bets, I approve
Zach Dallas continues flipping through the book. He seems to have stopped and focused on a single copy.
Stinky Pete: Attempts to memorize the map for future reference
Stinky Pete: Smarts [1d10 = 7]
Captain Smythe: Ah yes, well chaps, I do have a bit of news for you, now that we are rested and have had a bit of a break to relax.
Captain Smythe checks pocketwatch.
Captain Smythe: I believe it is now March 16, 1880, around 0100.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Uh oh. New update from the Deathclock. Or is it the Deathwatch now?
Captain Smythe: I have a note here from Mr. Lacy O'Malley that he would like you to meet with him at noon on March 25 at the Fallen Angel Saloon in the town of Perdition.
Zach Dallas: Where is that?
Uriel Iscariot: Is there a road to that town even?
Ezekial Ikwiano: I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure none of us will ever get out
Zach Dallas: Get out of Shan Fan?
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): of perdition, it was a joke
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): because perdition is unending unless you are repentent
Zach Dallas: Ah
Uriel Iscariot: Lacy eh?
Zach Dallas: How many days travel is it?
Ezekial Ikwiano: We need to get a message to Captain Fong
Ezekial Ikwiano: Get our damn boat back
Zach Dallas: That was my thought. That boat is our best shot at this
Zach Dallas: We certainly can't take Kang's railroad
Zach Dallas glances up from the book
Captain Smythe: Well, with a good boat you would be there in a seven days.
Captain Smythe: A fast ironclad might make it in five and a half once it gets out to open sea.
Zach Dallas: That gives us two days to find the boat, assuming we don't get raided and die on the way over
GM: Okay, so now what?
Zach Dallas: Where's the nearest port other than Shan Fan which Fong would likely go?
Captain Smythe: Fong of the Sturgeon?
Zach Dallas: Yes?
Captain Smythe: Hmm...I'd say Dragon's Breath, Ft. Lincoln, or Shannonsburg.
TADM: Ft. Lincoln -> Union City. Shannonsburg -> Confederate City. Dragon's Breath -> Kang City.
TADM: Take your pick.
TADM: Pick somewhere you are not wanted...OH WAIT.
Zach Dallas: Was the Sturgeon a famous ship? Identifiable on sight, I mean?
Uriel Iscariot: Hrm...
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): Hm. Come to think of it...
Captain Smythe: Pretty much, with the destruction of the Abysmal it is the largest, fastest, and most heavily armed ironclad on the west coast.
Zach Dallas: Smarts [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 3]
Zach Dallas is using a benny
Zach Dallas: Smarts [1d12 = 18]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): When we saw the Sturgeon escape, did it go North or South?
TADM: Zach writes down on the blackboard, "E=MC*2" is wrong...must find right equation.
Uriel Iscariot: If only we had an one of those infernal gagets! We could FLY there.
GM: The Sturgeon was heading straight west last you saw it.
Zach Dallas: OK, so since the Sturgeon is the most powerful ship on the sea right now, he certainly did not go to Kang's town.
Zach Dallas: Did he have any noticible ties to the USA or CSA?
Uriel Iscariot: We have the face Jelly
Uriel Iscariot: We could just use the railways.
Zach Dallas: Hm. True. But how long do they last? And don't you want to claim Jonah's Whale?
Captain Smythe: Tam is generally on better relations with the USA than the CSA.
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [1d6 = 5]
Uriel Iscariot: No what use of I for a Whale?
Zach Dallas: what?
Stinky Pete: Perhaps Tam has a way to get there, assuming he's not dead
Zach Dallas: That's possible. Anyways, I think it's more likely that he went north. It's away from Kang (whose forces can recognize him on sight) and he's more likely to find sanctuary with the US
Xiu Li: As much as this respite has been nice, perhaps we should head back to the surface and see what has befallen Shan Fan in the last few hours?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Plus, Fong don't fuck his sister so he wouldn't be welcome in the confederacy
Zach Dallas: Ouch, you don't like your homeland, do you?
Xiu Li looks horrifed by Zeke's comment.
Uriel Iscariot: Xiu Li, I agree!
Captain Smythe looks horrifed by Zeke's comment.
TADM: Double tap!
Stinky Pete: Wait, when did Xiu come back?
Ezekial Ikwiano: My homeland is Africa honky
Zach Dallas: Can you speak African?
Uriel Iscariot: Captain, ready what medicine you have and let us aid Shan Fan!
Ezekial Ikwiano: Here's an old African folk song:
Stinky Pete: Also, shouldn't we head south so that we can, you know, get closer to our destination?
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): "I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whitey's I see."
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): "I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whitey's I see."
Zach Dallas laughs
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): When I kill all the whiteys, all the whiteys I see
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): They'll be no more whiteys that be botherin' me
Ezekial Ikwiano (singing): "I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whitey's I see."
Captain Smythe: There is a brown satchel over there, it contains our spare medicine. You are welcome to have it.
Captain Smythe is clearly ignoring Zeke.
Xiu Li looks horrifed by Zeke's comment (and singing)
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): And now Garett Morris with News for the hard of hearing.
[w] Zach Dallas -> Ezekial Ikwiano: PSST, you're scaring your girl
Zach Dallas: Are you two going to sit it out in here?
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 5]
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): Med Kit
Zach Dallas nods towards Smythe and Dillenger, if present
Captain Smythe: I will remain here. I believe Dillenger is out taking care of some errands.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): what time is it?
GM: It is now 0200 on March 16, 1880.
Zach Dallas: It might be a good idea to simply leave now. It's dark out and there's probably some ruckus going on
Captain Smythe: Very well, best of luck chaps. I am sure I will see you again.
Zach Dallas: Would you like to come, Xiu Li?
Xiu Li: Yes.
Xiu Li: Yojimbo told me, 'Never be too proud to pass up an opportunity for experience (points.)'
Uriel Iscariot: Well
Uriel Iscariot: Off with us then. Thank you very much for the hospitality, Captain Smythe.
Ezekial Ikwiano: My momma told me never be too proud to pass the dutcheie to the left
Stinky Pete: Yes thank you.
Zach Dallas: Off we go, then
Zach Dallas puts the withered book and one of Hoyle's Books into his pack and shelves the rest of them.
Zach Dallas: I'll bring the book back later
The group makes it back outside and into the cool night air in Shan Fan. The sky is alive with thunder claps and explosions...which are terrifying for a second or two...until you realize that there is some sort of massive party going on and fireworks are being shot all over the place.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 2]
GM: Uriel sees people partying.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): pardon my grammar
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 10]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): are these citizens?
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d6-1 = 10]
The people of Shan Fan...and you notice Kang's army...are having a big party. Alcohol is free flowing, there is much carousing, and overall it looks like a wildly out-of-control Chinese New Year party.
TADM: Zeke probably feels like he wasted a few hours in the Vault, instead of being out here.
Uriel Iscariot: .....Wait what?
Uriel Iscariot: QUICKLY! We must stop these folk from drinking too much!
Zach Dallas: Uriel, can you overhear anything
[w] Ezekial Ikwiano: looking towards the harbor, can I see the Sturgeon down there?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d4 = 3]
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): it's in chinese....
[w] -> Ezekial Ikwiano: You see lots of boats, but can't tell anything specific.
Uriel Iscariot: Faith {+2 Conviction,+1 GOD IS WITH HIM} +3 (Rank 1 Power -2) [1d12+1 = 12]
Zach Dallas: Please don't draw attention
Uriel Iscariot: Ok....I can understand them now....As for audible noises...
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 4]
GM: Uriel make a Streetwise check.
Uriel Iscariot: 404 Error [1d4 -2 Unskilled = 1]
GM: According to Uriel, Kang conquered the city and has declared today a city-wide holiday in honor of his victory. There is no mention of Tam.
Uriel Iscariot: So I guess this means we just make a run for it?
Uriel Iscariot: Either that or try and get some horses.
Ezekial Ikwiano: We should check the harbor first
TADM: Or you choose not to believe a result of "1" on a Streetwise check, either option works for me.
Uriel Iscariot: Sure thing.
TADM: Or you ask the native Chinese woman in the group what is going on...but hey...maybe I'm just railroading you here.
Zach Dallas: Xiu Li, what's the celebration for?
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): (What? I can't listen to others OR be reasonable. Uriel does GODS work!)
Xiu Li: I'll ask around and find out. Would you like me to meet you at the docks?
Stinky Pete: Sounds good
Xiu Li mingles into a crowd and quickly disappears from view.
Zach Dallas: Well, let's try not to draw attention then.
The group arrives down at the docks and finds the Sturgeon sitting at its usual berth. A large number of Kang vessels are sitting along the waterfront. There is an immense crowd at the docks with considerable partying going on. The group gets handed drinks and randomly kissed by women as you try to migrate through the crowded streets.
Stinky Pete: Best. Day. Ever
GM: Paranoid people might want to make notice checks to make sure the pickpockets don't make off with everything.
Uriel Iscariot: Notice [1d6 = 10]
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot: Guts {+4 Heroic} [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6+4 = 6]
Stinky Pete: Notice {+2 Alertness(S)} [1d10+2 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot: These kisses make me....nervous and different. I'm uncomfortable here.
[w] Zach Dallas: NOBODY is touching my pack. I'm not letting either of those books off of my person
GM: Do you board the Sturgeon?
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): it's a trick
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): any sign of Fong?
Nick (Stinky Pete): It's a tarp!
Ezekial Ikwiano: Notice [1d6 = 11]
GM: Fong appears to be passed out on the deck, a number of Xiu Li's women are on board, and also passed out and in varying stages of nakedness. Fong has a HUGE smile on his face.
Captain Fong (mumbles): Best. Day. Ever
Captain Fong snores.
Zach Dallas: Hm
Stinky Pete: Well, let's get going. Don't have time to waste
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): any sign of Xiu Li? Or Tam's soldiers?
Zach Dallas: Notice {--1 One Eye} [1d4-1 = 6]
There are several of Tam's soldiers partying on the docks...with Kang's soldiers.
Xiu Li emerges from the crowd and comes on board the Sturgeon.
Xiu Li looks grim.
Xiu Li: So...I have good news...and bad news.
Zach Dallas: What's up?
Ezekial Ikwiano: You're pregnant?
Xiu Li does a thousand feet spin kick on Zeke...called shot to the groin.
Xiu Li: Fighting [1d10 = 9]
Xiu Li: Martial Arts damage [2d8+2 = 10]
GM: That would be a result of Shaken + talking like a Falsetto for two hours.
Stinky Pete: No, but now you're knocked up.
Stinky Pete points and laughs
Zach Dallas: You deserve that
Xiu Li: Well, it seems that Tam and Kang were in cahoots all along. Kwan's army was wiped out and he was killed. Kang and Tam announced a huge party after the end of the battle. Kang took over all of Kwan's stuff and appointed an administrator to oversee it.
Uriel Iscariot: Ok ok, whats the bad news? I already know the GOOD NEWS.
Zach Dallas: Grey was the administrator
Xiu Li: Kang and Tam decided that California should be unified as a seperate nation to negotiate with the USA and CSA.
Zach Dallas: Who was the administrator?
Xiu Li: Red Petals Su.
Zach Dallas: Wait....
Zach Dallas: She exploded on us
Xiu Li nods.
Zach Dallas: I don't think she likes us
Stinky Pete: I should know. So, what the hell do we do now?
Xiu Li holds up a hand.
Xiu Li: Let me finish.
Xiu Li: They have decided that Kwan's right hand man, Joshua Norton, is to rule the new government, and he was crowned Emperor Norton I of California at midnight.
Xiu Li: His wife is...Miss Grey.
Zach Dallas: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Zach Dallas: SHE'S MARRIED
Zach Dallas: SHE'S AN OLD WOMAN NOW
Zach Dallas: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Xiu Li: Oh, and all four of them would like you to visit them at Tam's Estate.
Zach Dallas: Undoubtably
Stinky Pete: Um, how did you find all of this out so fast
Xiu Li: Evidently they would like to "thank you" for your valuable efforts in bringing about the Empire of California.
Uriel Iscariot: I only have one question about all this.
Zach Dallas: Wait, is the City of Lost Angels included or no?
Ezekial Ikwiano: Whatever, they can have they empires long as I get paid
Xiu Li looks at Pete.
Uriel Iscariot: And hear me out, cause its important.
Xiu Li: I talk to people.
Xiu Li looks at Zach.
Xiu Li: No, the City of Lost Angels is not included in the Empire. It is possible they will try to conquer it.
Uriel Iscariot: I like this.
Zach Dallas: I don't
Uriel Iscariot: That man's a heretic, and a phony.
Xiu Li looks at Uriel.
Ezekial Ikwiano: If they decide to go conquering any confederate shit count me in
Xiu Li: What did you have to ask, Preacher Iscariot?
Uriel Iscariot: Whats the National Motto, or Anthem, etc, of this New Empire?
Xiu Li: In English, it translates to something like, "We appleciate all laces and peopres."
Xiu Li shrugs.
Uriel Iscariot: Well thats NO GOOD. What sort of Godless, heathen empire is this state going to be?
Xiu Li: The second verse starts with, "One Nation, Under Buddha."
Stinky Pete: steps aways before Uriel is showered with bullets
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): Buddha was fat enough
Uriel Iscariot's face lights up with righteous fury
Nick (Stinky Pete): 'One Nation, Below Canada, Above Mexico' - Robin Williams
Uriel Iscariot loads his Shotgun.
Uriel Iscariot: America is GODS NATION. Enough with this side show, lets stop these madmen!
Zach Dallas: Well, let's get this over with
[w] Zach Dallas: Conceal Arcana on the book. since there are no manitou, I'll hardcast it
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 18]
[w] -> Zach Dallas: It is nicely concealed.
[w] Zach Dallas: also Hoyle's, if that works without a large penalty
[w] Zach Dallas: or should I reroll?
[w] Zach Dallas: for another casting?
[w] -> Zach Dallas: Nah, that's good.
TADM: So the group heads over to Tam's estate?
Masakari (Uriel Iscariot): HELL YES!
TADM: Is Uriel going to TPK the group?
Stinky Pete: No, the NPCs will do that for us
TADM: (POLL) Uriel causes TPK
TADM: All right, that clarifies things.
TADM: So, everyone has an Iron Dynasty character ready?
Nick (Stinky Pete): Nope
GM: The group arrives at Tam's estate without further incident. You are announced as MOST HONORED GUESTS.
Zach Dallas: Uriel, this isn't the time and place. We need to get to Lacy quickly. There could be an EVEN GREATER EVIL present. Why else would he have called us to meet him personally instead of just sending a message? He can't afford to leak it!
Zach Dallas: Persuasion [1d10 = 6]
Uriel Iscariot: Smarts [1d6 = 13]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Smarts [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 5]
Stinky Pete: Smarts [1d10 = 6]
Ezekial Ikwiano: Uriel, this'll hurt me more than it will hurt you
Ezekial Ikwiano: Fighting [1d6 = 5]
Ezekial Ikwiano is using a benny
Ezekial Ikwiano: Fighting [1d12 = 11]
Uriel Iscariot: Fighting [1d4 = 3]
Stinky Pete: helps Zeke
Stinky Pete: Fighting [1d8 = 7]
TADM: Beat down on the Priest!
GM: Okay...
Uriel Iscariot: I just wanted a non-secular motto!
Uriel Iscariot: Ouch!
Uriel Iscariot: OWWWCH!
Stinky Pete: Isn't that the job of all educated men?
Ezekial Ikwiano: (3) Bo (Club) damage [2d4 = 6]
Nick (Stinky Pete): Or rather, anyone against pedophiles?
GM: So Zach, Pete, and Zeke drag an unconscious Uriel with them into the large central pavilion. Hundreds of people are in attendance, they cheer mightily when you enter.
Feneril (Ezekial Ikwiano): They're cheering bcause we beat you up.
Nick (Stinky Pete): I thought we were dragging him back to the dock
Up on a platform at the far end are Tam (with several bodyguards and concubines), Kang (with more bodyguards and fewer concubines), Emperor Norton (with no bodyguards or concubines) and a very happy looking Cynthia Grey.
Emperor Norton gestures for the group to approach. Kang and Tam remain impassive and watch you carefully.
Emperor Norton I: Hello gentlemen, my...
Emperor Norton I looks very nervously at Grey.
Emperor Norton I: wife...tells me that I have you to thank for my elevation to this role.
Nick (Stinky Pete): No one's talking to you, tool.
Zach Dallas frowns at Grey
Emperor Norton I: So, I thank you heartily and would like to present you with this small token of my appreciation.
Emperor Norton I waves a couple servants over.
Nick (Stinky Pete): waits for the hail of gunfire
They bring over two chests and lay them in front of you. The chests are opened and reveal about 100lbs of ghost rock and the second one has 100lbs of gold nuggets.
Emperor Norton I: Tam has also said you may have free use of the Sturgeon. Kang has indicated that you may travel the on the Iron Dragon rails for free.
Ezekial Ikwiano: Much obliged
Zach Dallas: Oh, well that greatly simplifies life
Zach Dallas: Thank you
Ezekial Ikwiano grabs the chest full of gold and starts dragging it out of the room.
Zach Dallas takes off his hat and bows to Kang
Ezekial Ikwiano: Strength [1d12 = 6]
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 10]
Emperor Norton I: Of course, Kang has requested that you...perform a few favors for him, given that you have deprived him of the Abysmal...but no hard feelings.
Ezekial Ikwiano: His boyfriend over there was the one who told us to sink it
Zach Dallas coughs
Ezekial Ikwiano points to Tam.
Emperor Norton I: Er...I am not quite sure what you mean, but I assume they will work it out between each other.
Emperor Norton I: Now, I have been told you have a need to be back in the City of Lost Angels, so I do not wish to detract you from the important work my....
Emperor Norton I looks nervously at Grey.
Emperor Norton I: ...wife...has set before you.
Kazemi (Zach Dallas): is Norton on the platform as well?
Emperor Norton I: Or Tam. Or Kang...whichever it was. I have to admit things were not explained very well at that point.
Stinky Pete: Not to be rude, but if you're so afraid to talk, why not let her speak instead of you speaking for her?
Stinky Pete: Especially since you know we're a little pressed for time.
Zach Dallas: You've got no sense of self preservation, do you Pete?
Emperor Norton I: Err...
Emperor Norton I leans forward and whispers.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Course I do, but I'm helping TADM move things along
Emperor Norton I: Because she is not here, there's some weird science gizmo making an image of her on the chair, but I get the feeling she can still HEAR everything that happens.
Nick (Stinky Pete): Sometimes, the best way to get to the point is by being blunt
Emperor Norton I: And frankly...she scares the shit out of me.
Zach Dallas: that's because you're sane
Stinky Pete: That makes 3 of us
Zach Dallas: Spellcasting [1d12 = 11]
Zach Dallas: Stealth {--2 Untrained} [1d4-2 = 3]
Zach Dallas: Stealth {--2 Untrained} [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6-2 = 8]
Zach Dallas: Stealth {--2 Untrained} [1d4-2 = 4]
Zach Dallas tips his hat to Norton
Stinky Pete: Yay!
Campaign saved.