Chat log started at 26.3.2014 / 17:40:27

Savage Worlds Deluxe for Fantasy Grounds II. (c) 2011 Pinnacle Entertainment Group.
ETOG Marine Hudson: Wow Doc, you smell amazing, what is that perfume you are wearing?
Miranda Smith: Vicks, I have a cold.
Marcus Davidian: haha
Pilot Jimmy: Hey guys, I'm on my way back, I should be there in about 10 minutes. And I am bringing backup to replace you and take you back to base.
ETOG Marine Hudson: Wow, he's not dead!
ETOG Marine Sergeant Apone: No kidding.
Miranda Smith: I'm still not sure I am willing to be in a vehicle with him.
Marcus Davidian: he does have a red shirt...
ETOG Marine Sergeant Apone: All right, so 10 minutes to evac. Anyone have anything pressing to do before you are picked up?
ETOG Marine Hudson: Also, you guys parked this Warthog over here when you arrived and I think you forgot about it for some reason. I suspect there is a time-space continuum fault going on where what seems like mere seconds to us is actually weeks of time in some alternate dimension.
Agent P: Well we never had much reason to use that Warthog.
Agent P: We were indoors all along.
ETOG Marine Sergeant Apone: Well, it was useful for us to shoot the buzzers, so thanks for bringing it.
Agent P: while waiting for Jimmy to arrive I'm goign to scan the horizon with my parabolic microscope listening for suspicious things.
Agent P picks up a radio broadcast of a baseball game that features Jackie Robinson.
Agent P: Whoa, that must mean that someone has a radio nearby. This thing is just configured to pick up sound.
Agent P: Which direction is it coming from?
Just when Agent P is wondering how this is possible, he starts hearing bagpipe music.
Pilot Jimmy arrives, with three other VTOLs behind him.
Agent P: coming from the same direction?
GM: Nope, an entirely different direction.
Agent P: Something odd is going on
Marcus Davidian: nice got some fire power with those VTOL's?
Agent P: Im picking up radio sounds (like soudns coming out of a handheld radio) from that direction (points). Bagpipe music from that direction (points in a different direction).
Pilot Jimmy: Indeed, all manner of guns and missiles and things that make other stuff go boom.
Hat Trick: Well, we just fought a bunch of non-existant extraterrestrials for a non-existant organization using non-existant aliases.
Hat Trick: Yeah... nothing odd there.
Marcus Davidian: oooooo yeah!!!
Agent P suddenly hears, "You are listening to Alien Forces Radio, the Best Tunes in the Sector..."
Agent P: What direction is that coming from?
This is then droned out again by someone humming Amazing Grace.
Marcus Davidian starts laughing at the radio
Agent R looks unempressed
About fifty ETOG Marines pile out of the VTOLs and take over the area. Sergeant Apone and his squad head on to one of the VTOLs while Miranda Smith directs the group on to the VTOL where Pilot Jimmy is doing a Kenken puzzle on the back of his life insurance paperwork.
Agent P: So did anyone who got off the VTOLs seem like they were in charge? Some officer type? or Man in Black?
Agent P: Who's in charge here!
Geiger Counter stops humming Amazing Grace and goes back to whistling Bagpipe Music.
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar: I'm in charge here, who do you think you are?
Agent P: Note to self: Obtain a sound proof container for the Gieger Counter
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar looks very important with his shiny new butterbars and recent graduation from ETOG Officer School.
Agent P: I can't say, that's classified. But I can give you a debriefing since you are here to releave us.
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar: I have a debrief from Sergeant Apone, but I will take one from your group also.
Pilot Jimmy: I need to get to 72, using multiplication, only using the numbers 2 through 4 in any order and one of them repeats.
Asset 1101: Watch out for the boobytraps, Marine.
Hat Trick tells the LT he should stop impersonating an officer
Miranda Smith looks over Pilot Jimmy's shoulder.
Agent P: Well we arrived, entered the tunnels up at the top. Fought some ... things (point to blankets). Got most of them. There is one still possible on the loose. Also found some civilians that had been altered (points to other blankets).
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar: Well done.
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar looks at Asset 1101.
Agent P: Though the alterations seems to have been taken, unfortunate.
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar: Apone did not mention boobytraps. Where were they placed?
Agent P: Also if you have someone with a laptop, I have a partial, sort of 2D map of the 3D tunnels.
Asset 1101: 2*3*3*4, Jimmy
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar: Oh excellent, Tech Marine Sanders, get this man's briefs!
Hat Trick: Oh dear.
Pilot Jimmy: Wow, thanks!
Asset 1101: 3 of the ground level entrances
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders looks at Agent P.
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders: Hmm...he is kind of my type and size.
Agent P: Here Jack in to my laptop.
Asset 1101: Ew.
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar: Excellent, thank you for that. Sergeant, there are booby traps placed at those entrances, this man will show you where.
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar gestures a Marine Corporal over to Asset 1101.
Hat Trick: Don't put that jumpdrive there! You don't know where it's been
ETOG Marine Corporal Williamson: Woohoo for temporary promotion.
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders sniffs jump drive.
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders: Hmm...it does smell a bit like cotton candy and baby oil.
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders gets out a different Flash drive to use and plugs that into Agent P's laptop.
Pilot Jimmy: Hey, are you guys about ready?
Asset 1101: I was enjoying the bagpipe music
Agent P: I download the data to the flash drive, eject it. hand it back... then grab my gear and get onto Jimmy's plane.
Miranda Smith fills in Pilot Jimmy's entire 9x9 KenKen puzzle while his back is turned to ask that question.
Geiger Counter: Thank you for listening to Geiger Counter Radio! I live to serve!
Geiger Counter plays bagpipe music.
Hat Trick: Know any rock and roll there GC?
Asset 1101: Go, go Geiger!
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders looks at Geiger Counter.
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders: Wow, I need to get one of those!
Agent P: You want it?
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders: Sure!
Geiger Counter: NOOOO!!! Don't pawn me off like some unloved pet!
Agent P: Then quiet damn you! You better behave or I'll give you to some lonely marine.
Agent P: And let me tell you... those guys are lonely... really in need of some attention.
Asset 1101: How about some White Zombie next, little Geiger?
Geiger Counter rocks out with some White Zombie.
ETOG Tech Marine Sanders: Dude, I think your Geiger Counter is possessed.
ETOG Marine Lt. Butterbar: Right, let's get moving people.
Asset 1101: Rock on!
Pilot Jimmy: Right, we need to get back to base people...are you boarding or not?
Pilot Jimmy: I need to turn in my life insurance policy and see if my pregnant wife has given birth yet!
Hat Trick heads up the ramp and assumes the co-pilot seat
Asset 1101: boarding
Agent R jumping on board
Pilot Jimmy takes off once everyone is on board and heads back to your assigned ETOG Base, which happens to be in Fort Collins, CO. It suspiciously is near Snelling Staffing Services, which is in NO-WAY a front for some sort of governmental organization.
Marcus Davidian: hey what about the warhog?
Asset 1101: Battle Pig to you, trooper!
GM: Did you drive the warthog on the VTOL when you boarded it?
Asset 1101: Agent..., whatever
Marcus Davidian: yes
GM: Then it is conveniently parked on the VTOL.
Agent P: Onward, ho!
Pilot Jimmy lands the VTOL without incident back at the underground base in Fort Collins, across the street from the Snelling Staffing Services office and right near a ubiquitous strip mall containing a Subway restaurant and a Starbucks.
Hat Trick: I presume we head to command for a debrief?
Asset 1101: And then, to the dance club for a better debrief!
The group is brought into the conference room, where Captain Harken eagerly awaits your report.
Captain Harken: ZZZzzzzzz
Captain Harken: Oh...you are here...
Marcus Davidian: sleeping on the job cpt.?
Captain Harken: Nope, I was just praying.
Captain Harken: So, everyone has all their limbs still, and I count the same number of Agents as I sent out. I guess things went well?
Agent P: Yeah they went pretty good. We killed some aliens.
Agent P: Also, the guys you sent before us all had their brain hacked or something. Miranda can explain it.
Marcus Davidian: sure we killed some things
Agent P: Are there snacks? I really was hoping for some snacks when we got back.
Captain Harken hands over a half-eaten bag of chips.
Marcus Davidian: ooo snacks?
Hat Trick tosses some MRE
Captain Harken: These are disgusting.
Hat Trick tosses some MRE "pretzels" on the table
Captain Harken: Those are way more disgusting.
Marcus Davidian starts eating MRE
Agent P: this place really needs better snacks
Hat Trick: I might have some "raisins" in one of these pockets too...
Geiger Counter: I detected increased amounts of radiation several times!
Marcus Davidian: mmm..not bad taste like cardboard haha
Agent P: So, should I download all my data on my laptop to some central computer?
Miranda Smith: The aliens seems to have captured several civilians, cut off the tops of their skulls, and implanted computers between their cerebral cortexes, turning the civilians into some sort of zombie like creature.
Marcus Davidian: so scalping?
Asset 1101: Those remind me of Russian Army surplus pickled pigs feet. The ones that turned black were the most edible...
Agent R disects his food and ignores everyone but his task.
Captain Harken: Errr...no. Copy all your data to this flash drive, where it will be scanned for viruses, trojans, malware, modifications to the Normal.dot file, and multiple other things.
Hat Trick: The Russian army feeds its soldiers?
Hat Trick: I hope you don't use FAT32...
Asset 1101: Russian Army uses lots of fat, often 80%!
Agent R: I knew it mechiancal separted chicken marrow and chemical cleaned rice and...
Marcus Davidian: no salt on these "prezels"
Miranda Smith leaves to go to "Almost a Doctor" things.
Marcus Davidian tosses the MRE at Hat tricks face
Agent P: So you want to tell us what those things were? Those aliens?
Asset 1101: FOOD FIGHT!
Captain Harken: Right, well, anyone have anything specific to add to the debrief, otherwise I will review the information from the flash drive and let you know if I have any further questions.
Hat Trick ducks
Hat Trick: Nothing much. Although, did we ever figure out where the buzzers came from?
Agent P: What? Your not goign to tell us anything else? Like what that complex was or what the buzzers are?
Agent R hides for the food and starts to identify the chicken fat.
Asset 1101 digs out peanut M&Ms from gym bag and tosses them at people
Asset 1101: Open wide for tasty treat!
Captain Harken must have several small children at home, as he is somehow able to ignore all the chaos around him.
Marcus Davidian grabs some M&M's eating them
Agent P: Okay well if your not going to tell us anything, then I'm goign to bed.
Captain Harken: We believe that complex was inhabited by humans and aliens around 3000 years ago.
Asset 1101: Food fight party pooper
Marcus Davidian throws one M&M at Harken
Captain Harken: As to where the...
Captain Harken catches the M&M and eats it.
Marcus Davidian: nice cpt
Hat Trick shakes up a can of coke and opens it in asset 1101's general direction
Asset 1101: Really? Based on copragenic analysis?
Asset 1101: Yeah babay
Agent P stick around for just a bit to here what else Harken has to say.
Asset 1101: Now you getting into debrief mood
Agent P: So humans and aliens living together? in harmony? or one ruling over the other?
Agent P: or something like that Indian Jones movie that came out a few years ago?
Captain Harken: Buzzers came from, they are likely to have recent woken up and were scouting the area.
Asset 1101: We blow things up, we kick alien butt, then we party like Porn Stars, yes?
Hat Trick: The cave drawings looked more like the humans were slaves.
Asset 1101: Mobile rations, even maybe?
Captain Harken: Yes, we have no records of humans and aliens living together in harmony.
Agent P: woken up, as in they have been here all this time? last few thousand years?
Marcus Davidian fell asleep due to the smart talk
Captain Harken: Quite possibly, we have located a number of alien settlements that have activated recently, rousing aliens out of suspended animation.
Asset 1101 sticks 2 M&Ms up M.D.'s nose...
Agent P: Hmm, any idea what could be waking them up?
Captain Harken: Although it is also possible that Buzzers, having short lives and short gestation periods, just came into being recently.
Marcus Davidian sniffs the M&M up and eats them
Asset 1101: Alien Atomic Alarm Clock?
Agent P: And I'm assuming that since there is no sign of them in the fossil record that they haven't been here on earth all along... unless of course there is a sign of them int he fossil record.
Hat Trick: Can we use anything to locate other settlements so we can wipe them out before they activate?
Asset 1101: They were green ones. Before, and after.
Captain Harken: The best person to ask that question would be Dr. Copperhagen or Miranda Smith.
Hat Trick: And are we going to fight them all off only to find that more of them are hiding in the oceans?
Captain Harken: There have been - signs - in the fossil records.
Asset 1101: Maybe there are remains, an yone think raptors maybe really aliens?
Captain Harken: Nope, there are plenty in the oceans already. No need to worry about discovering more there later.
Captain Harken: I've always been more a fan of thinking that the Archaeopteryx was an Alien, but that is just my personal favorite.
Agent P: So... you've been supressing the scientific evidence? How have we never heard of this?
Captain Harken: Me? Personally? I suppress evidence all the time.
Asset 1101: Ah, but first we kick alien butt on land. Then, we do sequel underwater. But that not as much fun.
Captain Harken: Nah, I expect this to be an equal opportunity land/water alien buttkicking. Why wait for a sequel?
Agent P: So how long ago did these activatatoions start happening?
Hat Trick: good point. So what put the aliens into hibernation?
Asset 1101: Ooh, could be good. Explosives very fun underwater.
Captain Harken: The aliens started reviving around fifteen years ago.
Captain Harken: I personally suspect it was a Y2K bug.
Asset 1101: Hmm, maybe after they party like its 1999...
Geiger Counter: What? Do you mean it is NOT 1914!
Geiger Counter: I only have two digit years!
Asset 1101: Geiger, were you personally made by the original Geiger?
Agent R: I knew it partial hydrogenated high frutose corn syurp, I can t eat this...
Captain Harken: We are not sure what causes the aliens to go into or come out of hibernation. It seems to happen every few millennia.
Agent R: Can we go catch more aliens so I can eat them?
Captain Harken looks at Agent R strangely.
Agent P: So have the activations remainded steady over the last 15 years? Or are they accelerating? Someone around here have a spreadsheet or something? chart? graph?
Asset 1101: Have we found the Fifth Element yet?
Captain Harken looks at Asset 1101.
Captain Harken: Umm...the Fifth Element is Boron. We discovered that a LONG time ago.
Captain Harken: Sure, I have another mission for you, I can give you the mission briefing now if you don't want to take any R&R.
Marcus Davidian: hey agent R do they taste good?
Asset 1101: Briefing, then miniR&R, then mission?
Agent P: I think perhaps we should get at least a brief sleep.
Agent R: All natural, no by products, not sure if the taste good but they have to be better that this food...
Asset 1101: Hmm, if we can fins an environmental trigger for the alien hibernation, perhaps we can put them all asleep with minimum fuss.
Hat Trick: I'd like a nap.
Agent P: Good idea Asset 1101
Agent P: So how time sensitive is this new mission? Can we sleep first?
Marcus Davidian: alright boys ready for a barbaque!!
Captain Harken: Right, so go get some food, take a good long nap, meet back here at 1400 tomorrow.
Asset 1101: no alien bbq for me...
Captain Harken: See you all then.
Asset 1101: Party time, ETOG style!
Marcus Davidian: o ill make some burgers man
It is currently 2000 Mountain Time.
Captain Harken takes Agent P's Flash Drive and departs.
Hat Trick: BREWSKIS!
Agent P: Okay I party ETOG style until 2200, then I sleep until 0600, then I get up and eat... then try to research everything this orginization knows about these activations, hacking if I have to.
GM: I expected someone to see what bars where in the area, since I gave away the location as Fort Collins.
Asset 1101: oh, silly me
Marcus Davidian leaves to go to some bars
Marcus Davidian: wanna come asset?
Agent P: Well the closest place is "Pappy's Corner Pub"
Agent P: Sounds like just the sort of place that agents would hang out on the off shift.
Marcus Davidian: let go have some fun!!
Asset 1101: I think "Fox Club", or A Hunt Club" sound more like good place to check out...
Marcus Davidian: hey now thats a good idea haha
Hat Trick: there a piano bar nearby?
Marcus Davidian boos at hat trick
Agent P: There is a place called "The Speakeasy" down in Longmont.
Agent P: it's about 40 minutes away... Perhaps we can get Jimmy to take us there in the VTOL.
Agent P: It's supposed to be a piano bar.
Marcus Davidian: ehh screw it
Asset 1101: in VTOL, like 5 minutes, better than cab, as long as there is parking...
Agent P: he can just hover and we can rapel out.
Marcus Davidian walks out goes to the garage gets his hidden stash of whiskey and drinks in his bed
Asset 1101: i am thinking how we get back in though...
Hat Trick: that sounds fantastic. No-one will notice us coming in through the skylights.
Waitress greets the group as they enter.
Waitress: Hello everyone! I am a College Student working my way through a higher education without resorting to stripping or prostitution. How many in your group?
Asset 1101: Oh M.D., you act like Russian Army major, no need to fall down drunk on floor, just lay in bed...
Asset 1101: Hmm, waitress, you have room mate?
Agent P: Um, 4 or 5 of us... I'll take a martini.
GM: No kidding, Marcus Davidian is definitely Russian.
Hat Trick: four? right, everyone but Davidian?
Marcus Davidian mumbles he's german then falls back asleep
Waitress: I have three room mates in a studio apartment and I work two full time jobs while double majoring in Physics and Chemical Engineering. What do you do for a liviing?
Asset 1101: I 'd like Rasberry Navel Vodka, to please?
Agent P: Hmm... Do you have a resume with you?
Agent P: We could use a good waitress where we work.
Asset 1101: I find interesting places people want blown up, and blow them up...
Waitress brings a martini for Agent P and a Raspberry Navel Vodka for Asset 1101.
Agent R: I am back at base, assisting Miranda with science-y, wibbley wobbley timey wimey stuff
Waitress: I don't have a resume with me right now, but I only take Wednesdays off.
Waitress: I can bring one in tomorrow.
Hat Trick: We... operate on an alternate revenue stream.
Asset 1101: How about room mates? What majors in school?
Waitress has a nametag that reads, "Kaywinnit"
Marcus Davidian (Marcus Davidian): weird name
Waitress: My roommates are majoring in English Literature and Art School.
Asset 1101: Hmm, artist like Slavic form, you think?
Marcus Davidian (Marcus Davidian): she lives with liberal arts people haha
Waitress: Possibly.
Waitress: I used to be a triple major in mechanical engineering also, but that turned out to be too much of a drag on my time, and it turns out that I can fix most engines just by listening to them.
Waitress: Anyway, what can I get for the rest of you?
Agent P: I drink my drink, play some piano, tip well. Then call Jimmy for a pickup.
Asset 1101: Hmm, you need to hook up with our buddy not here, M.D. He really goes for mechanical.
Waitress: Thanks! Come back again.
Asset 1101: Bye Kaywinnit
The group manages to escape certain impending not-death and returns to base.
Marcus Davidian snezzing when asset talked about me
Asset 1101: Snezzing - Snoozing and whizzing at the same time, usually induced by drinking your bottle of whiskey in bed, alone.
GM: Ready for the next briefing?
Asher (Hat Trick): yeah
Captain Harken: All right folks, ready for the next mission?
Agent P: Yeah, lets do it!
Captain Harken: This is going to be a bit different than normal, but could be quite challenging.
Asset 1101: Alien Panty Raid?
Captain Harken: Almost.
Agent P: I'm not quite sure we've exactly established yet what normal is.
Asset 1101: Not what we do.
Captain Harken: We have discovered that there is an alien species that is capable of mimicking human behavior and also looks human enough that they can pass off in our society.
Asset 1101: Hobbits?
Captain Harken: We have reports that they have set up some sort of operation in Vancouver, Canada.
Asset 1101: Liberals!
Marcus Davidian having a hang over looks at cpt actually listening
Hat Trick: politicians?
Agent P: hippies?
Marcus Davidian: pirates?
Asset 1101: PETA eco-Nazis!
Captain Harken: You are to work with the RCMP to find them, and likely resort to violence. We want one brought back alive.
Hat Trick: apple store employees?
Captain Harken: If you are able to communicate with them and find out their intentions in a peaceful fashion - bonus points.
Agent P: Royal Canadian Mounty Police?
Captain Harken scratches chin.
Agent P: I thought they were a myth, like bigfoot.
Agent P: Or the chuppacabra.
Captain Harken: Actually, they tend to most typically look like Asset 1101 and Agent R.
Asset 1101: Maybe a special equipment pick of doobies to mellow them out?
Agent P: Wait, so these are clearly a different species than the ones we just encoutered? How can we tell them apart from humans?
Captain Harken: They have elevated cardio-respiratory levels, if you have something that can detect breathing or heartbeat patterns, that will help detect them.
Asset 1101: Interesting.
Agent P: Like and EKG machine?
Captain Harken: They are definitely a different species than the snakemen.
Asset 1101: How about body temp?
Agent P: Hmm... how do we get them to hook up to one?
Asset 1101: get them an Iphone 6 prototype
Captain Harken: Body Temp is similar to ours, it may vary by 1-2 Celsius.
Agent P: well that won't be much use since human body temp can vary by 1-2 C
Captain Harken: They do not emit traceable amounts of radiation.
Geiger Counter: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Asset 1101: anything else? pheromenes that are detectable?
Agent P: So I can leave this geiger counter behind eh?
Asset 1101: No, Geiger is our entertaining little tool.
Hat Trick: could we use an ultrasonic heartbeat sensor?
Captain Harken: We are not sure what pheromones these aliens emit.
Geiger Counter sobs in the corner, feeling alone and abandoned.
Asset 1101: aw
Agent R: or possibly alter an automotive combustion detector to read capnography... it'd have to be very sensitive though
Captain Harken: The RCMP currently believes you are CIA Agents looking for a terrorist organization bent on destroying the Canadian Maple Syrup Reserves.
Captain Harken: We have provided cover documentation to support this.
Hat Trick: They have been forwarned to provide us with plenty of pancakes and Canadian bacon, correct?
Captain Harken: Also, if the RCMP guys go berserk during interrogations...well...let's just say that they don't like it when someone blows up 100,000 gallons of Maple Syrup while yelling "Allah Akbar!"
Hat Trick: For research...
Marcus Davidian: umm why blow up syrup?
Captain Harken: Yes, the hotel includes Pancakes and Canadian Bacon in their breakfast.
Asset 1101: why not?
Hat Trick: It's why the canadians are so nice. Delicious syrup.
Captain Harken: I have no idea why terrorists would blow up Maple Syrup. I suspect they had the wrong address for the nuclear power plant.
Asset 1101: Maple Syrup is another decadent Western idea.
Agent P: So if your sending us to Vancouver you must already have some leads that is leading us there?
Captain Harken: So everyone gear up and then you will be flying out of DIA on a commercial airliner.
Agent P: What leads you to believe that this cell of aliens is there?
Agent P: Are going through normal customs? Becuase I've got some strange things in my baggage.
Captain Harken: We have been picking up alien radio chatter and communication frequencies.
Captain Harken: No, you get to go through the Fly Clear option, you can take small scale tactical nuclear warheads as long as you don't have any liquids more than 3oz in size and they are all in a single 1 quart see through plastic bag.
Asset 1101: Sure that wasn't jus the the wannabes playing last week during the National Extraterrestrial Abductaions Day. They have a big festival in Toronto every year last week...
Captain Harken: Also, the last group we sent to investigate was mailed back to us in USPS Flat Rate Small Boxes.
Marcus Davidian: WHAT i cant take my whiskey then
Agent P: Oh, so can I get a downloaded list of those frequencies?
Hat Trick: But you can get Canadian whiskey there.
Marcus Davidian: that stuffs weak
Hat Trick: And it is an international flight... free pretzels and water.
Captain Harken: Whiskey is cheaper in Canada anyway. In fact, can one of you pick up the following list for me when you are at the Duty Free shop?
Captain Harken hands Agent R his shopping list.
Asset 1101: I think M.D. prefers the rye whiskey with the jagged edge
Asset 1101: nice
Captain Harken hands Agent P a flash drive with all the alien recordings and frequencies used.
Agent R: Hmmm... all of this is legal to purchase in Canada? They're more progressive than I thought.
Captain Harken: Yes, oh, and make sure you get the one with the buckles for line item number 5. It's uh...for my wife.
Agent R: 10 D cell or car battery operated version?
Asset 1101: nice new glasses and pocket protector, Agent P
Marcus Davidian: you are married captin i didnt know nice man
Captain Harken: Yes, I have five rugrats at home, managing them is how I can stay so focused at work.
Captain Harken: 10 D Cell version for line item 7 - that is for my uh...horse.
Asset 1101: Rugrats and a horse, you are big animal lover
Captain Harken: Err...yes...I love my animals.
Agent P: Okay! I'm ready lets head to Canada! I want to stop at a Tim Horton's soon as we land.
Asset 1101: oh boy
Captain Harken: As soon as you have your gear collected, you will take an ETOG Bus to DIA and get on your flight. It leaves in 4 hours, so you have about 30 minutes to requisition everything. After all, between travel time and having to check in at least 90 minutes early for an international flight.
Asset 1101: Agent P, it is right outside gate D67
Captain Harken hands over your passports, cover identities, flight tickets, hotel reservations, and RCMP contact information.
Captain Harken also hands you Vancouver tourist information.
Asset 1101: Or, E84 if we land near there...
Captain Harken remembers to hand you pictures of "suspected" aliens and various locations where they have been observed around the city.
Asset 1101: probably near shopping for the Captain's list...
They include places like City Hall, Public Water Works, every College Campus, a Piano Bar, four different Tim Hortons, and some warehouses near Port Metro.
Asset 1101: Port Metro, maybe thats the Captain's favorite bar in town...
Agent P: hmm suspiecious warehouses near the port... the perfect place for alien spawning vats.
Asset 1101: Agent R, marinated alien caviar!
Asset 1101: ok we fly, we land, we get donuts, we go to hotel?
Agent P: yes, lets do those things.
GM: Sounds like a plan.
Agent R: then send 1101 to check out the colleges?
Asset 1101: Donuts and vodka, like decadent Bulgarian tourists on Canadian Vacation!
Asset 1101: Yes, colleges
You arrive in Vancouver without major incidents, although why that stewardess insisted on using the taser 10 times on Asset 1101 may never be fully understood.
Asset 1101: She no willing to learn Vodka Navel Shot secrets. Customer service does suck on US airlines.
A disguised Warthog is waiting for you, it looks sort of like a Hummer H3.
GM: Marcus did a good job on that equipment pick.
Asset 1101: Is it pimped out, with spinner wheels and bass boat flecked paint job?
Your luggage does indeed arrive in baggage claim.
GM: That is entirely up to Marcus, it is his equipment pick.
Agent P: Okay... so how do we know this Hummer H3 is for us?
The other people are suspicious/envious of your massive amount of luggage that you evidently did not have to pay extra for.
Asset 1101: Hot model driver with sexy cap and sign that says "Marcus is my Man?"
It matches the information on the rental car receipt that Marcus has. He also has the keys for it.
GM: No, there is no one who meets you in person with a sign. You hear lots of people being inordinately polite and ending every sentence with ",eh?"
Asset 1101: oh. This is Canada, not Fort Collins...
Agent P: So who is our driver?
GM: Marcus is probably the driver.
Agent P: Okay, I throw my stuff in back and get into the backseat.
Agent P: To the Tim Hortons!
GM: Although nominally anyone could operate the Warthog. It does have a huge number of blinking and glowing lights on the inside.
Asset 1101: Tim Hortons was in terminal. You already want more??
Agent P: Yes... more more!
Hummer H3: Hello Sirs! How can I be of assistance today?
Asset 1101: With Canadian accent, no doubt -eh?
Hummer H3: I was informed of your impending arrival by my colleague, Geiger Counter.
Agent P: Wait... Can this Hummer detect radiation?
Hummer H3: Yes, I can detect radiation.
Asset 1101: Very nice
Marcus Davidian: wtf it talks?
Hummer H3: Just a minute, I'm reprogramming myself to be Canadian, eh.
Hummer H3: Yes, I talk, eh.
Agent P: Okay, Hummer, please direct us to donights, then to the hotel.
Marcus Davidian: are you a A.I.?
Hummer H3: I am a fully autonomous self-driving ETOG Vehicle, eh.
Asset 1101: Can you at least sound like Avril Lavigne and not Justin Bieber?
Hummer H3: Changing voice to Avril Lavigne.
Agent P: Here is where we shall be eating breakfast: Waffle Gone Wild 2967 W Broadway Vancouver, BC V6K 2G9
Asset 1101: oh goody...
Marcus Davidian: that didnt anwser my question
Hummer H3 (Avril Lavigne Voice): Hello!
Agent P: Wait, please set voice to: William Shatner
Marcus Davidian: haha
Hummer H3 (Avril Lavigne Voice): Changing voice to William Shatner
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): Hello Gentlemen, all ahead full.
Asset 1101: Warp factor 1, Mr Davidian!
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): You should probably plot a course first, don't make me act like TJ Hooker on you.
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): But I have enough armaments that Boston Legal is perfectly doable, although Canadians frown on that kind of thing.
Asset 1101: ooh, including a minedropper?
Hat Trick: Mr. Hummer, can you change the holographic imaging on the outside of the vehicle to Red Wings logos?
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): I'm pretty sure that will cause a riot.
Hat Trick: No, this is Canada.
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): Driving to the nearest Tim Hortons.
Hat Trick: They'll riot politely
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): Good point - changing logos to look like a Red Wings Party Bus.
Agent P: Not necessiarly... the normally polite canadian goes apeshit crazy the moment you put a hockey stick into their hand.
Asset 1101: Well, I'm tired of donuts. Bacon sandwich!
Asset 1101: Hey, whats with all the high sticking pedestrians?
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): I'm going to take you to the hotel. I saw a hot green-skinned chick there a couple weeks ago.
Hummer H3 drives the group to the hotel, unless Marcus actually touches the wheel and tries to drive it.
Asset 1101: cool
Hat Trick emerges from vehicle at hotel wearing a Gordie Howe jersey
Vancouver Citizen: Dipshit American Bastage, eh. Nice to meet you, filthy asshat, eh.
Hat Trick: They can't get too mad... he was Canadian.
Hat Trick: That one's human
Vancouver Citizen: Have a nice day, eh.
Vancouver Citizen walks off.
Hat Trick yells the Red Wings are the greatest franchise in sports history!
Hat Trick: okay... anyone who doesn't give me a dirty look should be interrogated.
Hat Trick: harshly.
Asset 1101: Hey, I am Bulgarian tourist. Can you teach me more of that Canadian English, they don't talk that in US
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): I'm pretty sure your orders were not to cause an international incident or a riot.
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): But if it happens, I have 4 .50 cal machine guns with 5000 rounds each that I would love to fire.
Asset 1101: meh. what might they do, sling curling irons at us?
Asset 1101: ooh, party time
Agent P: Actually I don't recall Captain karen every specifically saying anything about riots or international incidents.
Vancouver Citizen: Nonsense, eh. I'm pretty sure we could do some serious damage with Curling gear, eh.
Asset 1101: stones, yes, thats it
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Hello gentlemen! I have your room reservations right here! We are so happy you are staying with us! I am happy to assist however I can.
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist hands out room keys and information to the group.
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist looks snottily at Hat Trick.
Hat Trick: Good evening...
Marcus Davidian: what you looking at
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Hello you filthy American bastage.
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Although I respect your choice of hockey jerseys.
Asset 1101: Wow, must be local dialect in Vancouver
Hat Trick: thank you
Marcus Davidian: well well we got a dirty french B
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Is there anything I can do to assist all of you right now?
Hat Trick: what are you doing during the game tonight?
Agent P: I'm dressed all in yellow and blue.
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: I'm eating canadian bacon with maple syrup and drinking a local brew while cheering on the non-American hockey teams.
Asset 1101: Phoenix Gold sounds good
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Specifically, a Black Cherry Lambic from Storm Brewing
Asset 1101: too sweet for me
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: I can order you a Phoenix Gold to have it delivered to your room.
Asset 1101: Thanks so much you filthy Canadian Bastage!
Asset 1101: I like this country
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Thank you strange Eastern European sounding man.
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: We like having you visit our wonderful country.
Marcus Davidian heads to the room to find some booze
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Please take time to queue for hours at each tourist attraction.
GM: Wait, that might be more British than Canadian.
Hat Trick: would like you go do all of that in my hotel room?
Vancouver Hotel Receptionist: Sure, can I bring my triplet sisters with me?
Asset 1101: Yes, would be much more boring if this land ended up part of Russia. then, nothing but cabbage beer and slabs of bacon with just fat...
Hat Trick: I suppose.
Marcus Davidian (Marcus Davidian): is their booze in the room?
Hat Trick: the hotel bar is over there.
Asset 1101: yes, many tiny bottles...
Marcus Davidian: lol
Agent P: Does our bills here bill back to our org? Or does it bill back to the CIA?
Marcus Davidian heads to the bar and asks whats the strongest thing they got
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): I'm pretty sure that everything filters through Priceline and gets covered by the NSA Front Agency known as "Facebook"
Hummer H3 (William Shatner): So basically it is all coming out of Zuckerberg's Stock Options. I say go big or go home.
GM: Okay, we are done, as we were all distracted by the Goat Simulator.