Chat log started at 21.5.2014 / 17:26:50

Savage Worlds Deluxe for Fantasy Grounds II. (c) 2011 Pinnacle Entertainment Group.
Valeroth (Agent P): Sounded like she said "Where the fuck are you?"
In our exciting last episode, the group snuck through the Vancouver sewers into an abandoned looking warehouse. After bypassing several diabolical looking traps, some trip wires, and managing to make it through a highly-electrified wall without being fried, they entered an abandoned World War II Era warehouse.
Agent P then went upstairs and engaged in some rigorous (completely non-sexual) probing of some strange eletrical orb that was hovering in an office on the upper floor of the warehouse.
Agent R and Hat Trick were checking out the main floor when the door burst open and an unknown number of invisible assailants rushed in, and in their first volley incapacitated Asset 1101 and Marcus Davidian.
GM: The revised version is correct.
Round 1
Dealing cards...
Mutari Infiltrator: Shooting [1d8 = 7]
Mutari Infiltrator: Needler damage [2d6 = 6]
Hat Trick: I guess we're in combat?
A bluish laser streaks through the air and singes the wooden debris that Agent R has taken cover behind.
GM: The shot originated somewhere around there.
Agent R takes cover
Mutari Infiltrator: Shooting [1d8 = 3]
Agent R: Kill'em so I can gut them!
Another bluish laser arcs way over Agent R's head, he would only be in danger if he was about 3 meters higher.
Mutari Infiltrator: Shooting [1d8 = 6]
Mutari Infiltrator: Needler damage [2d6 = 4]
A final bluish laser strikes Agent R and burns a nice hole through the cloth on his elbow, probably necessitating the use of an old-suit-elbow-patch.
Hat Trick
Hat Trick: Throwing: Mk67 Pineapple [1d6 = 4]
Mutari Infiltrator: [1d12+1d6 = 14]
Hat Trick: Mk67 Pineapple damage [3d6 = 12]
Hat Trick: Mk67 Pineapple damage [3d6 = 28]
Agent R hides from the grenades being lobbed
There is a large explosion and a hail of shrapnel flies out. You are pretty certain that you caught one of them, based on the silhouette of the explosion.
Agent P
Agent P: Throwing [1d6 = 7]
Agent R
Agent R: Shooting: M-32 Launcher [1d8 = 4]
Agent R: M-32 Launcher damage [4d8+2 = 26]
Agent R makes a massive explosion that creates a nice crater and apparently tosses an already mostly destroyed alien corpse through the air.
Hat Trick: We don't pay for damages, do we?
Agent R: Yeah dissection!!!!
A shorter, grey skinned humanoid in a black outfit with a cloak that looks tattered and frayed from all the shrapnel is laying on the ground, with most of a leg and arm missing.
GM: It definitely appears dead.
Hat Trick: Better shoot it again. It might get up.
Meanwhile, the strange yellow ball of light begins flashing like a disco ball and you think you hear it humming, "Stayin' Alive"
Round 2
Dealing cards...
Agent P
Nessie (Agent R): I feel likeI am always last...
This round, Asset 1101 recovers from the stun bomb that exploded next to him.
Asset 1101: Hi there. No Mike tonight though
GM: No problem, Marcus Davidian will just keep failing the Vigor check from the Stun Bomb.
Agent P throws another smoke grenade and scans for radio signals inside or out.
Agent P: Throwing [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6 = 5]
GM: Thrown Deviation [1d12+1d6 = 10]
Agent P's smoke grenade lands a little off course.
Hat Trick
Agent R
Agent R: Aiming my grenade launcher
Mutari Infiltrator: Shooting [1d8 = 1]
Smoke Grenade Rules: First Round: SBT. Second Round: MBT. Third Round: LBT. Fourth Round: LBT - dissipate on 6 (on 1d6). Fifth Round: LBT - dissipate on 4+ (on 1d6). Sixth Round: Dissipates
An arc of bluish light flies from one spot and strikes the ground behind Asset 1101, how it missed at that range can only be explained by the vagaries of dice.
Asset 1101
Asset 1101: Throwing [1d6 = 5]
Asset 1101: Mk67 Pineapple (US) damage [3d6 = 18]
Another alien flies backwards from the explosion, splatters into the wall, and its head rolls off to the left while the body sags to the ground.
Then the body glows bright red for a second before detonating in a much, much, larger explosion.
Mutari Infiltrator: Self-Destruct damage [4d8 = 32]
The explosion tears a giant chunk out of the building and leaves about a meter deep crater in the ground.
RCMP Hansen (crackling and static): I assume this means you would like some backup, eh?
Agent R: chucky is good
Round 3
Dealing cards...
Agent R was dealt the Red Joker! Go whenever you want this round. You also get: Joker Trait/Damage Bonus [2]
Agent R
Agent P: Yes Please
Agent P
Hat Trick: Back-up might be good to secure this area after we're done demolishing it.
RCMP Hansen: Okay, and we're coordinating with the police with to cordon off the area, eh.
RCMP Hansen: Whoa, wait a minute, eh.
RCMP Hansen: All those vagrants lurking about just lurched upright and began coming towards us, eh.
Agent P slowly backs up... I put my back to the ball of light, holding the shotgun out. I'm "protecting" it.
Agent P: Don't worry light thingy, I won't let them get you.
The strange ball of light bobs left and right and does what can only be construed as an "Electrical Ball Happy Dance"
Mutari Infiltrator: Shooting [1d8 = 1]
Agent P is taking a shotgun shell and spilling it's contents on the stairs in front of me.
A spray of bluish light arcs out between Asset 1101 and Agent R.
It looks like it switched to "Laser Shotgun" mode, but still managed to miss.
Hat Trick
Hat Trick: [1d20 = 13]
Hat Trick: Smarts [1d6 = 9]
Hat Trick flicks on his laser sight and sweeps it over Agent R's head near where the bluish light originated and notices a slight flicker as it passes one spot. He opens fire.
Hat Trick: Shooting {+1 Double Tap}: Colt 1911 (.45) (Colt 1911 (Semi)) [1d8+1 = 10]
Hat Trick: Colt 1911 (.45) (Colt 1911 (Semi)) damage [2d6+2 = 10]
Hat Trick's shot strikes the alien and causes it to stagger backwards, it becomes visible and electricity arcs over the body and its cloaking is disrupted.
Asset 1101
Agent R: Throwing [1d6 = 11]
Agent R: [3d6 = 11]
Agent R and Asset 1101 play hot potato with a live grenade and an alien. The stunned alien fails, and what the grenade's explosion doesn't wipe out, the much larger second explosion does.
Round 4
Jokers were dealt last round; reshuffling deck
Dealing cards...
Agent P
Hat Trick
Hat Trick: Smarts [1d6 = 4]
Hat Trick does not see any sign of aliens with his laser sight trick.
The alien near Asset 1101 glows bright red and explodes.
Asset 1101: Agility [1d8 = 6]
Mutari Infiltrator: Self-Destruct damage [4d8 = 22]
Asset 1101
The explosion flings Asset 1101 through the air, and he smashes to the ground in a rather painful looking "squish."
Asset 1101: Vigor (Wounds -2) [Trait roll was a natural 1] [1d6-2 = 1]
Asset 1101 is using a benny
Asset 1101: Vigor (Wounds -2) [1d4-2 = 7]
Asset 1101 is using a benny
He staggers to his feet, revealing the bottom of a crate that he grabbed to somehow shield himself of the damage, and aside from a broken vodka bottle that has left an unfortunate wet stain on the front of his pants, looks none the worse for wear.
Asset 1101 peeks his head outside the door and sees a number of vagrants milling towards him. They have empty eyes and drool is coming from their mouths. They seem to be mouthing the words, "Sorry chap, have to kill you, eh. Protect the maple syrup, eh."
Agent R
RCMP Hansen: For the record, there are about thirty or so homeless people shuffling towards you.
Agent R: Notice [1d6 = 10]
RCMP Hansen: They look as listless as Canadians the day after hockey night and when Tim Horton's is closed.
Agent P: I look around up here on this platform. Is there anyway in or out of here other than these stairs? (Look up/down/east/west/north/south/etc)
GM: In Agent R's estimation, they do not seem friendly, and definitely seem to be under the control of something else.
John (Asset 1101): Agent P looks ALL!
Agent R: Simple mind control...yay....
Agent P notices that there are two other ladders that lead down to the floor, but this is the only set of stairs that gets you to the second floor.
The grey arrows denote the emergency escape ladders, that are currently retracted to the second floor.
The glowing ball of light behind Agent P is hovering over his shoulder, apparently peering to the first floor.
Round 5
Dealing cards...
Agent P
Agent P holds whilst the shambling horde of vagrants gets closer. They all start singing "My heart will go on" off-key.
Hat Trick
Agent P starts to boot up his computer, and suddenly the BIOS stops booting. The screen goes black and the phrase, "Would you like to play a game?"
Agent P: Yes.
A map of the world shows up, it looks like Russian Attack subs are closing on your location.
Agent R
Agent R ran to stairs like scared girl
RCMP Hansen: We've called in a unit with tear gas to spray the area, they will be here in a couple minutes, eh.
Asset 1101
Asset 1101
Asset 1101 runs toward stairs, avoiding going next to opening
Round 6
Dealing cards...
Agent R
Asset 1101
Agent R holds while Asset 1101 runs to the bottom of the stairs.
Three of the vagrants shamble into the building and head toward the stairs. They are definitely singing Celine Dion songs, off-key and not in-sync.
Hat Trick
Hat Trick: If they start singing Justin Beiber songs, I'm killing them all
Hat Trick tosses a flash bang to stun them.
Hat Trick: FLASHBANG!
Asher (Hat Trick): which means you might want to close your eyes.
William Shatner the Humvee: If they start singing Justin Beiber songs, I'm calling in a tactical nuclear strike.
Hat Trick: Throwing [1d6 = 8]
Agent R closes eyes
The vagrants are knocked backwards by the blast, but seem mostly unfazed.
Agent P
Agent P: I enter "Open Diplomatic Channel"
The computer screen goes blank, then Gauntlet starts and an ominous voice says, "Yellow warrior needs food badly."
Agent P: I look around for a power outlet
Hat Trick: It's hungry?
Agent R runs up the stairs, cranks the wheel for the hose, and water drips out.
Agent P: I open up a game of Pacman.
The glowing ball begins glowing bright red and you are pretty sure it just made an obscene gesture with a tendril towards Agent R.
Agent P: Okay don't hose down the ball of light...
Agent R: Agent P tell the light blob I will not shoot it with water
Agent P spots some old, ungrounded, outlets.
Agent P: I fish out my satellite phone, take it apart and hack part of into the outlet and part offer it to the alien.
Agent R: Notice [1d8 = 7]
Agent P begins disassembling his phone. The vagrants shamble forward, the ones struck by the flashbang move a bit slower than the others.
Agent R realizes that the vagrants are focused entirely on the ball of light, they are pretty much ignoring the existence of the humans.
Vagrants begin singing Bryan Adams' music.
Round 7
Dealing cards...
Agent P
The ball of light slides over to the satellite phone bits and starts zapping them with electricity. They melt somewhat and seem to be absorbed into the creature.
A McDonald's commercial with the, "I'm loving it" theme starts playing on Agent P's laptop.
Hat Trick
Hat Trick examines other offices
Hat Trick: Notice [1d6 = 9]
Agent P: I bring up the classic Atari game ET.
Hat Trick finds the other offices mostly empty, although it looks like someone has been here recently.
Hat Trick: does it look like anything has been taken?
Vagrants stagger forward, closer to the stairs. They begin muttering, "Kill the Shiny Ball, Kill the Shiny Ball"
Hat Trick: files gone through, drawers open, suspicious dust free areas?
All the power cords are missing from the typewriters and the fans.
Asset 1101
Hat Trick: Powered typewriters?
Agent P: I bring up the movie Spaceballs, then forward to the portion in the movie when they are using VHS cassettes of the movie Spaceballs to find out where Lonestar has gone.
Agent R rigs the hose to point down the stairs and turns it on and runs to a safe distance.
The ones that had electrical cords yes. Although there are two old fashioned mechanical typewriters covered by a thick layer of dust.
Asset 1101: Demolitions [1d8 = 5]
Hat Trick: Hey P, I think your buddy has been eating in here too.
Asset 1101 successfully blows up the stairs without knocking out any major structural beams, killing any vagrants, or opening new holes in the wall.
Spaceballs backs up to the point where Spaceball One goes to Plaid.
Agent P: I foward to the section where the "good guys" are trying to escape from Spaceball One.
RCMP Hansen: Okay, we are hearing more explosions from in there, what's going on? The tear gas unit will be here in a minute, eh.
RCMP Hansen: It is almost "Happy Hour" at Tim Horton's, so have you just about resolved this? We CANNOT miss 2:1 donut hole Thursdays. So I need a status report.
Hat Trick: Don't they deliver?
William Shatner the Humvee: Would you like me to spray the Mounties down with machine gun fire?
Hat Trick: Maybe we could arrange an air drop? Tim has to have his own helo by now.
Hat Trick: Stand down Humvee. No shooting the Canadians.
Glowing Ball of Light changes the video to Princess Bride, as Westley goes flailing down the side of the mountain yelling, "As you wish!"
Hat Trick: I have a bad feeling about this...
William Shatner the Humvee: Oh fine, I'll just go back to twiddling my exhaust pipes and checking the value of my priceline stock.
Vagrants mill about the base of the stairs, making zombie-like attempts to climb the stairs.
Agent P: Okay I think it's time we get out of here, and take our littel glowly ball of light with us.
GM: They fail pretty badly at this, given that the stairs are mostly missing.
Asset 1101: yes
Agent R: I like leaving but I am not touching the super human glowing alien thingy...
Glowing Ball of Light seemingly is absorbed into Agent P's laptop.
Hat Trick: Humvee... enter through the wall
The movie Airplane 2 starts playing. It advances to the point where Julie Haggerty asks, "Blow Rock?"
William Shatner the Humvee: OH YEAH!
William Shatner the Humvee opens up with the vulcan cannons, using the 20mm rounds to carve a suspiciously Humvee shaped hole in the side of the building before bursting through the wall.
Asset 1101: Ger her all shes got, captain!
Hat Trick: Let's mount up!
Agent P: I slide down the ladder and into the HumV
The Vagrants get indiscriminately run over or shot by the Humvee's approach to solving the problem.
Asset 1101: hmm
Agent R runs to the hum V and gets in
Hat Trick: Hmmm... well, the soup kitchen will have some extras.
William Shatner the Humvee does doughnuts over the vagrants while the TJ Hooker theme blares through the speaker system.
Hat Trick: Humvee, try not to kill anyone else on the way out.
Asset 1101: looks like taxes might go up again to cover the increased health care costs...
Hat Trick: Silly possessed vagrants probably thanked you for killing them.
Agent P: ACTUAL HEADLINE - Baby moose found wandering on highway picked up and the driver stopped at Tim Horton's for a coffee before taking the less than a day old baby to the Walden Animal hospital in Lively, near Sudbury, ON.
William Shatner the Humvee stops moving at Hat Trick's request.
William Shatner the Humvee: In the word's of myself, "Let's get the Hell out of Here"
William Shatner the Humvee plays the "Star Trek Transporter" noise as he drives out of the building.
Hat Trick begrudgingly picks up any remaining members of the team on the way to the humvee
William Shatner the Humvee: So, where now?
Hat Trick: Tim Horton's. It's happy hour.
RCMP Hansen: Umm...what just happened? And are we clear for Tim Hortons?
Asset 1101: lets go to a disco near a power plant, we can blend in AND YELLOW WARRIOR CAN CHOW DOWN
Agent P: Quick stop at Tim Hortons, then we head back to the hotel.
Hat Trick: We just finished extraction of a VIGBL and are enroute to 2 for 1 donut holes.
Agent R: What is this horey toads place owned by said Tim.
Agent R: do they have beer?
RCMP Hansen takes his team of snipers over to the nearest Tim Hortons.
William Shatner the Humvee drives over to the nearest Tim Hortons, tosses the doors open and flings everyone out, then drives off after a hot chick in a convertible Mercedes.
William Shatner the Humvee: See you all later!
Hat Trick: Tim Horton's is the bright center of the universe that Arkansas is the further point from.
RCMP Hansen: No kidding.
RCMP Hansen: Also, nice to meet you all in person.
Asset 1101: you too, R.C.
Agent R: Maybe we should have started here
Hat Trick: Hola senorita!
Agent R: Hello mounted
RCMP Hansen looks at Hat Trick's Red Wings jersey and asks to see his passport.
Hat Trick: Wait... my French is a little rusty...
RCMP Chapman comes out of the building with 4 dozen Timbits.
Hat Trick produces his credentials
RCMP Chapman: I brought the food of the gods.
Asset 1101: Isn't French in Western Canada like a Red wings jersey?
Asset 1101: (R) TimBits...
Hat Trick: Where's the maple syrup dipping cups?
Agent P: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Molasses_Disaster